That is a very good question.
May I start from the top.
I gave my heart to God as “Love” as I knew Him @ 12 years of age.
I told God that He could do with me what He wanted sionce I could not find anything better than “Love” and that since God is love then He couldn’t harm me or let me go through anything that was bad.
Nothing happened I prayed and prayed traveled and @22 got married. there were miricals and God gifted me on many occasions and for what reason I could not tell ou other than He loves me.
It would take a book to write all that has happened and I have many youth still writiing me after helping them.
Then @ about 25 on a retreat in one of our monestries, I asked God for someone to guide me. I told God that there were so many books and that I wanted Him to guide me.
All at once this book called “A retreat with St Therese” stood out and I was struck by it loved it and wanted to love God the same way she did. Later that day in June the middle of our winter I was going to shower and a thought cameto me that I could have a cold shower.I said "Lord i can’t do it but you can. Right there and then the hot water went off and I was having a cold shower in the middle of winter.
But i loved it and tried to follow through on most occasions. For about 8 months Jesus allowed me to have St Therese teach me and at times I could feel her being with me. I have from that time followed the “little way”, which has become a central part of my life, living in self denial.
I found that Love was all I needed, I read the books of many saints and took right, in their ways of self denial, mysticism, and contemplation. Going up to the Carmelite monestry on many occasions, I had found my home and could only kneel in the presence of God when ever I was there. I joined the 3rd order Carmelites, but wanted more than I was getting there, so I started to write to France but that became long wided since they had to get an interpreter.
Some years latter, about 25 when the relicque of St Therese came to New Zealand i didn’t really want to go there for I had her in my heart. But our son who want’s nothing to do with church or god said he wanted me to take him to see it. I took he and another there, and on entering the church building i was literaly pushed over by the power of the spirit there. I knew I had to belong to a group and it is since then that I have joined the group that I now have a home.
I do belong to St. Vincent D"Paul in our church as well.
But my home is in Carmelites.
You are welcome to question all you wish.
My life is so much different to most ans many would frown at what I do or allow God to do with me. But the outcome is always God being glorified, NEVER me.