I recently found out my wife of 7 months is reading this book 50 shades of gray. I did a little research into the book and found out what it is about and am appauled that the woman I married would read such a book. If that wasn’t enough she was getting so aroused she would masturbate to fufill her desires from reading the book. I work on the road and am home on weekends. When I came home and wanted to be intimate with my wife she turned me down. The next day my son and I left for a camping trip with some of her family and I once again get a phone call about how all her sisters are reading this book and she got so aroused by it again she masturbated. I was really hurt by this. I couln’t believe that not only was my wife getting aroused by such a book but she had now replaced me in our sex life with this erotica. When I talked to her about it she thinks that there is nothing wrong with it and that everyone says how it has spiced up their sex lives. Am I wrong for feeling this way?
It spices up sex lives!? Pornography tends to kill sex lives since it objectifies people and divorces sexual pleasure from procreation.
Your wife needs help!
On a lighter note, welcome to the CAF!
No your not!
We were watching Dr. Oz and they were discussing how the book has the same effect on a brain as watching porn would!
My husband got so annoyed with the discussion and didn’t want us to hear what it was about, and so changed channel.
I hope that you and your wife can discuss this together, maybe she doesn’t know how much it hurt your feelings! I’ll pray for you both tonight.
I also heard that it’s being made into a movie
I would talk to your wife ASAP. This series of books has infitrated my own little circle of friends and I’m genuinely surprised by it to be honest. Usually I’m the one that tends to read books that are not so conservative, but this time I’m on the outside looking in and its shocking to me how casually my friends discuss these books and how they discuss their “addiction” to them. These women can be pretty straight laced and this book has actually caused them to unravel their moral code quite a bit. They talk about it with no shame. There is such a “buzz” about it and I don’t know if a “gang mentality” is in place because all it takes is one friend to start raving about the book and its like the rest of them don’t want to be left out of the conversation and soon somebody is lending another friend the book to read. Its like nobody has the guts to be the one to say this book is rubbish so they justify it by saying its not “porn”, its “erotica” and somehow that makes it ok to read.
Its garbage and I can see how its causing problems for couples.
This makes me so sad!
Tell her it hasn’t “spiced up” your sex life since she turned you down in favor of an imaginary lover.
As to “there is nothing wrong with it”…the first question that I must ask is whether your wife is Christian and Catholic or not.
This really effects how one might approach this.
But as to your question about feeling hurt…No you are not wrong to feel this way.
Looked it up on Wikipedia and it is sad. Prayers for the OP.
I would say this book has crept its way into my groups of friends, but it would be an understatement. This book has forced its way into my friends’ lives, and they are eating it up like it is the best thing ever. What I can’t wrap my brain around is, my friends call it “mommy-porn” in one sentence, and try telling that it isn’t bad for you in another. These are friends that have always shared the same stance as I have on pornography. I just can’t understand how they are finding this book to be defensible, and yet feel hurt if their husband views pornographic movies online. It is the same thing! What makes us as women so justified in subjecting ourselves to this? I just don’t understand.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us.
Exactly! And like I said, my particular group of friends that are reading this book…straight laced and CATHOLIC! I am shocked by the discussions that are taking place at our children’s sporting activities like they’re discussing the best recipe for chicken in the slow cooker or something. They think NOTHING about how they are coming across or how inappropriate the subject. I find nothing appealing about a BDSM relationship let alone romantic.
What’s exceptionally sad is that it’s straight potboiler printed pornography, originally self-published, and so poorly written as to make one of my posts look like words from the lips of James Joyce himself. Back when pornographic material had to have “artistic merit” in America (like the Scarlet Letter or Lady Chatterley’s Lover), it would have been banned overnight - it’s a cheap way of stringing many poorly-written, obscene (even by the standards of written pornography), graphic, paraphiliac, sadomasochistic, cheesy, unrealistic (even less so than pornographic films), abusive, and, dare I say it, over-sexed sex scenes together without just having a collection called “Rape Fantasies 21” or “Paraphiliac Bondage Edition 19”.
Some have tried to oversell it now that it’s hit viral status (due to either some form of subliminal writing, or, more obviously, the direct influence of Satan and his minions, ala the Screwtape Letters on a massive scale) as a sort of super-artistic meditation on existentialism, psychological damage, and interpersonal relationship dynamics. BS.
I read about 100 pages of the first book, and from that I make my judgment - it’s not even well-written pornography. It’s trash. Take the books, burn them (by fire, privately if you must: for the work of Satan must be purified by fire); if they are replaced, burn them again. All of the other advice on here is good: I rarely get to speak to a situation on here that is so clear-cut, that I can categorically state, “you are right, and she is deathly wrong”.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us who have recourse to thee.
Saint Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle;
be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:
and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.
Our Lady, Seat of Wisdom, Pray for us!
This is the first I have heard of this book, and all the more it shows we need to be in spiritual warfare daily, praying for the mess many have fallen for.
Precious Blood of Jesus, Purify us!
The final sentence of the book description, from Amazon.
“Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.”
I know people who are reading it that are saying it is rubbish but moving on to the next book in the series. They complain about how poorly written it is and yet have made it to the third book. It’s the book of choice for housewives and mommy groups.
It can also be called as ahjumma-porn.
Ahjumma = Korean word for old lady
Now, I think I should puke at those books!
This series was just brought to my attention.Apparently this series is being marketed to middle age women.Your concerns are exactly why I will not read these novels.I feel that doing so is definately a sin,for the reasons you mentioned.:eek:
Thank you all for your responses and your prayers. I fear we will need them in the days to come… I don’t understand how anyone can not see these books for what they are and are being taken as a sexual stimulant for couples. Have we fallen this far? Is our society so moraly corrupt that this is reguarded as acceptable reading material for our wives and mothers?
Lord please pray for all those lost soles that read these books. Please help them to realize that they are nothing more than pornography and are hurting their relationships and themselves. Amen.
I think it is important to note that approaching your wife should still be handled delicately. She is hurting you, yes, but your bigger concern is how she is hurting herself and your marriage. I would advise remembering that we are all sinners, and that judgment is a tricky thing to play with. Maybe ask if she could come with you to talk to a priest about it… I don’t know what your solution will be, but I sincerely am praying for you. Pornography is hurtful to everyone involved, and it is hurtful to everyone excluded. It is a no-win deal. Stay strong, love your wife fully and offer all the prayers in your heart for her purity and grace.
Praying for you!
Funny, I was going to start a thread on this yesterday and never got a chance to do it…
I had never even heard of the book until this past weekend. Some good friends of ours (non catholic) were helping us move and the husband asked me if I had heard about ‘the book’ yet. He proceeded to tell me how his wife had been reading it and they have been all over each other since then…he even started reading it and directly compared it to watching porn online. I asked my wife if his wife had mentioned it to her and she said that is all she (his wife) seemed to want to talk about while they were painting the house and she says they are ‘like teenagers again’ and ‘can’t keep their hands off each other’. Kinda ironic since they normally can’t hardly get along.:rolleyes:
My wife and I talked about it later and it really saddens both of us. Honestly, it bothered me to the point that I had a difficult time keeping it off of my mind yesterday at work. I don’t know how anyone can feel right about this garbage.
There aren’t many things that I want more than for our intimate life to improve, but I told my wife that if it took her reading trash to want to have sex more, I would rather not have any at all. I told her how proud I was to know that she was better than that and she has no desires to enter filth like that into her mind in the first place.
Even thinking about it now makes me a little ‘disturbed’ for our friends and everyone else who the devil has a grasp on with the book right now. It’s really sad.
it is sad, i’ll pray for you.
This reminds me so much of when the movie, “Bridges of Madison County,” came out. Everyone was all :love: about an ADULTEROUS relationship!! “Oh, how romantic!” Oh, SURE it is, from the jilted spouses and their family’s POV, are you KIDDING ME???
My husband still thinks the movie is romantic but then he also liked “The French Lieutenant’s Woman” which also included adultery. That he thinks adultery is romantic in any way troubles me greatly.
What a pity that so many women think porn for women is A-OK!