8-year-old girl not welcome at Christian School because she dresses and behaves like a boy


#1

news.yahoo.com/blogs/oddnews/christian-school-principal-says-8-year-old-girl-not-welcome-because-she-dresses-and-behaves-like-a-boy-204748527.html?vp=1

Thoughts?


#2

I too was a tomboy as a little girl but no one cared. I think they are making a whole of nothing into something. The child is better off not going to that school when their attitude towards her is so skewed. Poor kid–to be labeled and ostracized at 8 years old. Shame on the school, I say.


#3

If the school are so concerned with dress code, then maybe they should have a school uniform and stipulate a certain hair length for students. Also it will still allow her to be herself (tom boyish) in activities that are done within the school. There was plenty of tomboys at the schools where I attended growing up, but we had school uniforms that distinguished girls from boys.


#4

Former tomboy here, too. I was also always sure that I was a girl - just simply preferred comfy boys clothes over fussy girl ones. Still do! And I liked to run around, climb trees and play in the mud. Big horror!

I feel sorry for that poor little girl.


#5

Looking at some other sources, one secular source says the school allegedly wrote to the grandparents about certain issues, most state it as fact (maybe they say the letter). Another source says that the school said there were other issues but that they were bound by confidentiality clauses and couldn’t discuss it further.
Some sources say the grandparents were forced to enroll the child in a public school, whilst others say that they did not have to move the child but decided to.

Whether intentional or not, this is likely to fuel anti-Christianity.


#6

I would have gotten kicked out too.


#7

They sent the grandparents a letter saying that the child would not be allowed to enroll for next school year unless she dressed and behaved more “girly” (I’m paraphrasing). The grandparents then opted to remove her from the school and place her in public school immediately. That change in the middle of the year was probably traumatic for her. However, I probably would have done the same thing if it were my kid!


#8

I concur.


#9

I can’t quickly find the one source that used the word allegedly , however, I did discover that the quotes supposedly in the letter came from the Schools’ admission criteria (tcs4u.org/admission-policy-process.html) which says:

Timberlake Christian Schools is a religious, Bible-believing institution providing education in a distinct Christian environment, and it believes that its biblical role is to work in conjunction with the home to mold students to be Christ like. On those occasions in which the atmosphere or conduct within a particular home is counter to or in opposition to the biblical lifestyle that the school teaches, the school reserves the right, within its sole discretion, to refuse admission of an applicant or to discontinue enrollment of a student. This includes, but is not necessarily limited to, living in, condoning or supporting sexual immorality; practicing homosexual lifestyle or alternative gender identity; promoting such practices; or otherwise having the inability to support the moral principles of the school (Leviticus 20:13a; Romans 1:21-27; Matthew 19:4-6; I Corinthians 6:9-20).

I just noticed that none of them have reproduced or photocopied the letter, hence my skepticism.

However, here is a link to the School’s response: wdbj7.com/news/local/timberlake-christian-school-releases-statement-about-former-student/25179702.
I pray that God will protect the School (staff, institution, pupils and their families).


#10

Copy of at least part of the letter can be found here.

From the school’s response:

The Church and the School are limited in what can be related about this situation. With all due respect, the facts are not as S.K.'s great-grandparents have portrayed them. This matter is far beyond a simple ‘hairstyle and tomboy issue’ as inaccurately portrayed. It is not about that at all. At no time did the Church or the School state or imply that S.K. was sexually immoral or the like. Yet, reports like this have appeared in the media. The School has never told S.K. she cannot return to school.

The Church and the School have a responsibility to all students, their parents, and guardians. Parents and guardians send their children to the School because of our Christian beliefs and standards. We have a duty to create an environment that is supportive of these Christian values. We cannot have conflicting messages or standards because such conflict will confuse our students and frustrate the parents and guardians who have entrusted the education of their children to us. When elementary children and their parents or guardians express concerns regarding use of the restroom and other matters arising from the sensitive issues here, the School has a duty to address those concerns and to ensure that all interests are heard and protected in accordance with the Christian mission of the School. While we welcome all students, parents and guardians are made aware of the School’s Christian mission and beliefs. We not only have a right, but we also have a duty to uphold these Christian standards.

Does anyone know what that actually means? It’s as confusing as heck. What “Christian standards” are we talking about?


#11

Schools have rules, and rules have to be obeyed. Her grandparents sound clueless. They act shocked that a parent dictates a child’s hairstyle. I bet they spoil her in many ways. Anyways the school said there were other issues that disrupted the classroom, so it is not just her hairstyle or clothes.


#12

Is the part that struck me as peculiar.
The school can’t talk due to confidentiality, but that sure seems like a hint. :shrug:


#13

The girl identifies as a girl, yet the school board accused the grandparents of putting her through gender dysphoric therapy. I’m pretty sure the school board is in the wrong here. Just because a girl is a tomboy as a child does not mean she is automatically LGBT. This is absolutely ridiculous, and I’m glad the child doesn’t have to put up with this school’s absurd gendered behavioral standards.


#14

That’s why all schools should have a uniform in my opinion. I’m not sure what to make of this, but I can’t help but wonder how people would feel about it if it were a little boy who wore his hair long and he wore pink girly clothes to school and liked cheer leading and hop scotch and playing jacks and doing girl things but insisted he identified as a boy. :shrug: If I had seen that girl I would never have known it was a girl, she does look like a boy. But I do know that a school uniform would solve that problem. Then it would just be a question of hair length, and it’s acceptable for girls to have short hair.


#15

I don’t think any of us can do anything more than speculate. The school, unless under civil suit, is bound by confidentiality, and even with a civil suit, because it deals with a minor, it may not be open to public scrutiny.

Either way, it is a sad situation. I’ve seen a lot of tom boys who are really just ‘kids’, not even thinking much about their gender yet.
OTOH, it could be a case of some kind of gender identity crises in the minds of the school, or the guardians of the child, or the child herself (though one would think, if that’s the case, she is being influenced).

Too hard to call with so little information.


#16

I have mixed feelings on this. A rather extended family member (a sibling of an in-law) has a 6-year-old daughter who’s decided she’s a boy. The parents are now cutting her hair like a boy’s, dressing her like a boy, and using masculine pronouns in reference to her. Basically, they’ve decided to let her imagine she’s a boy.

If this situation is along those lines, I’m inclined to think the school may have a point, for the sake of the other kids who might find this all very confusing.


#17

It sounds like they received complaints from other parents about the girl.


#18

[quote=SoulSolace] I don’t think any of us can do anything more than speculate. The school, unless under civil suit, is bound by confidentiality, and even with a civil suit, because it deals with a minor, it may not be open to public scrutiny.

Either way, it is a sad situation. I’ve seen a lot of tom boys who are really just ‘kids’, not even thinking much about their gender yet.
OTOH, it could be a case of some kind of gender identity crises in the minds of the school, or the guardians of the child, or the child herself (though one would think, if that’s the case, she is being influenced).

Too hard to call with so little information.
[/quote]

Seriously. Why so many are quick to cast aspersions when we have no information with which to make an educated statement baffles me. Maybe the school is wrong, and maybe they are not.

But I guess ot wouldn’t be an internet message board without strong opinions one way or another…

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#19

I am not sure that it matters much. Regardless of whether the school is right, or if the school is wrong, the girl is better off going elsewhere. To keep her there would be toxic, certainly for her and possibly for the school as well.

Perhaps it is in the best interest of everyone simply to part company.


#20

Not at all. The girl simply does not want to conform to the school’s ideas of femininity. Nothing to do with gender dysphoric ideas.


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