This is my first post here, and I wanted to share my story, as I believe it's saved me.
WARNING! Long post/read!!!
I am a 23 y/o male who thinks is a pretty good guy. I like athletics, music!!!, my faith and sharing it, my family and friends. I treat everyone with the attitude and respect that I want in return, and always try to do what's best. I'm a pretty normal guy who has big dreams. I was baptized, confirmed, and raised Protestant (Lutheran). Nearly my ENTIRE family is Lutheran. I was very strong in my faith as a Lutheran, and I loved talking about Christ and God's love for everyone for sending him. However, my first two years in college I did not go to church, and then I was offered from a cousin of mine to work at a new Methodist church as an audio producer. I worked there for three years (last August), and have since switched from staff, to being in the worship band (as a member). I never committed myself to the Methodist church, as I was strong in my Lutheran background.
Now, in August 2008 I met a wonderful girl at college, and she was three years younger than I. She was absolutely wonderful and we shared all the same interests. But for me, if it was to be a long term relationship, I would want her to be strong in faith. She was, and she was Catholic. Fine by me, cause I always believed they were just as Christian as I was, and thusly, we started dating.
We got along TERRIFICLY with everything we did. We would kid with each other that we were the couple everyone wished they could be. We made a VERY strong emphasis on having a God centered relationship. However, there was always a 'disconnect' because of her being very Catholic, and I, Protestant. I always wished we could go to the same church, but she would refuse, and seeing as I was a staff/musician of my church, it really hurt me that she couldn't share those same passions as I had. We would have long talks about our faiths, and I told her I was always 'intimidated' by Catholicism. I even took a couple stabs at the faith, and would declare the 'righteousness' of the reformation. After one of these talks, she said if were to ever marry and have kids, they would be raised Catholic. I simply replied "I think that'd be fine, I just want them to be christian and accept Christ as their Saviour." I never really cared to investigate why she wanted it that way, and it had to of hurt her. I was ignorant.
Come Labour Day 2009, we had sex for the first time. We were both virgins by choice because of our faiths, but she was clearly hurt more by it than I. (I was still crushed because I had my own personal reasons for abstaining, I knew sex was for marriage). We both would go to Adoration to pray, and it made me happy that we were turning to the Lord for help and salvation. Then Oct. 22, she calls me up to meet her, and she wants to breakup. I was crushed, because it came COMPLETELY out of the blue, and she wrote me a beautiful letter saying she was hoping the 'break' would do us some good. (Note, 'break', and not breakup, but I still mistook it for a breakup.) Two days go by, and I go to her place so that we can talk about this. I was very firm with her saying "Couples don't just breakup. If they have problems, they work them out." She was crying the whole time we were in the car, and eventually she decided to come back. I was happy she was back, but we really didn't fix the problem (I thought maybe we had). I was being ignorant.
Then it happened twice more that we had sex before college fall break (Nov. 24), and I didn't think much of it because I'd already sinned it once, and was forgiven (through my Protestant beliefs), and I could be again. She came back from break on the 29th, saying that "We need to talk". Uh oh. And she just lays the bomb on me again, saying "I want to breakup, this time it's permanent." She had several reasons 'I don't know who I am anymore, I can't change you, I feel I can't give you my whole heart, you deserve someone better, I can't talk to you about anything, and I need someone more grounded in their faith. That one hurt the worst, because I thought I was VERY solid in my faith, trying to live as Christ, obeying the commandments etc. She then offered her hand in friendship, but then had later sent me a text saying 'I think I'll always love you.' But she's a resolute woman, and I kept saying to myself and her "I love you enough to let you go. I have to respect your decision." Despite me not REALLY wanting to let her go of course.
I then spent a large deal of time trying to 'figure' things out, and I would write her letters and emails saying that I understood her want to find herself and to grow, and that I would pray for her and so forth. She became VERY cold and distant. Very irritable and harsh with me, which was completely out of her character. Didn't she say she wanted a friendship? I eventually wrote her a 'final' letter, detailing everything I was thinking and feeling. I KNEW this relationship happened for a reason, and I was set to find out. I thought it'd be best to go into no contact. She sent a text saying 'just wanted to say, thanks.' I felt like I did everything I could, but I then found out from her best friend that our first 'breakup' was due the sex we had. I was shocked, cause she never told me. I still don't know if it was the cause for this second breakup. Perhaps.