A Beautiful Breakup/Conversion Story. LONG POST


I typed out a really long post and I was told it was too long. (Something like 14000 characters but only 6000 allowed per post).

So before I make a giant post, I wanted to ask if it was ok that it was this long and this …err… giant, heh. I’m also not sure if this forum is the proper one to put it in, as it involves two different topics.

Please! I really want to share my story!


Sure! Some of us like long stories. Some of my posts have been too long too - then I put them in 2 or three parts.

I look forward to reading your story! Another day though, I am up too late as it is. God bless you!


This is my first post here, and I wanted to share my story, as I believe it's saved me.

WARNING! Long post/read!!!

I am a 23 y/o male who thinks is a pretty good guy. I like athletics, music!!!, my faith and sharing it, my family and friends. I treat everyone with the attitude and respect that I want in return, and always try to do what's best. I'm a pretty normal guy who has big dreams. I was baptized, confirmed, and raised Protestant (Lutheran). Nearly my ENTIRE family is Lutheran. I was very strong in my faith as a Lutheran, and I loved talking about Christ and God's love for everyone for sending him. However, my first two years in college I did not go to church, and then I was offered from a cousin of mine to work at a new Methodist church as an audio producer. I worked there for three years (last August), and have since switched from staff, to being in the worship band (as a member). I never committed myself to the Methodist church, as I was strong in my Lutheran background.

Now, in August 2008 I met a wonderful girl at college, and she was three years younger than I. She was absolutely wonderful and we shared all the same interests. But for me, if it was to be a long term relationship, I would want her to be strong in faith. She was, and she was Catholic. Fine by me, cause I always believed they were just as Christian as I was, and thusly, we started dating.

We got along TERRIFICLY with everything we did. We would kid with each other that we were the couple everyone wished they could be. We made a VERY strong emphasis on having a God centered relationship. However, there was always a 'disconnect' because of her being very Catholic, and I, Protestant. I always wished we could go to the same church, but she would refuse, and seeing as I was a staff/musician of my church, it really hurt me that she couldn't share those same passions as I had. We would have long talks about our faiths, and I told her I was always 'intimidated' by Catholicism. I even took a couple stabs at the faith, and would declare the 'righteousness' of the reformation. After one of these talks, she said if were to ever marry and have kids, they would be raised Catholic. I simply replied "I think that'd be fine, I just want them to be christian and accept Christ as their Saviour." I never really cared to investigate why she wanted it that way, and it had to of hurt her. I was ignorant.

Come Labour Day 2009, we had sex for the first time. We were both virgins by choice because of our faiths, but she was clearly hurt more by it than I. (I was still crushed because I had my own personal reasons for abstaining, I knew sex was for marriage). We both would go to Adoration to pray, and it made me happy that we were turning to the Lord for help and salvation. Then Oct. 22, she calls me up to meet her, and she wants to breakup. I was crushed, because it came COMPLETELY out of the blue, and she wrote me a beautiful letter saying she was hoping the 'break' would do us some good. (Note, 'break', and not breakup, but I still mistook it for a breakup.) Two days go by, and I go to her place so that we can talk about this. I was very firm with her saying "Couples don't just breakup. If they have problems, they work them out." She was crying the whole time we were in the car, and eventually she decided to come back. I was happy she was back, but we really didn't fix the problem (I thought maybe we had). I was being ignorant.

Then it happened twice more that we had sex before college fall break (Nov. 24), and I didn't think much of it because I'd already sinned it once, and was forgiven (through my Protestant beliefs), and I could be again. She came back from break on the 29th, saying that "We need to talk". Uh oh. And she just lays the bomb on me again, saying "I want to breakup, this time it's permanent." She had several reasons 'I don't know who I am anymore, I can't change you, I feel I can't give you my whole heart, you deserve someone better, I can't talk to you about anything, and I need someone more grounded in their faith. That one hurt the worst, because I thought I was VERY solid in my faith, trying to live as Christ, obeying the commandments etc. She then offered her hand in friendship, but then had later sent me a text saying 'I think I'll always love you.' But she's a resolute woman, and I kept saying to myself and her "I love you enough to let you go. I have to respect your decision." Despite me not REALLY wanting to let her go of course.

I then spent a large deal of time trying to 'figure' things out, and I would write her letters and emails saying that I understood her want to find herself and to grow, and that I would pray for her and so forth. She became VERY cold and distant. Very irritable and harsh with me, which was completely out of her character. Didn't she say she wanted a friendship? I eventually wrote her a 'final' letter, detailing everything I was thinking and feeling. I KNEW this relationship happened for a reason, and I was set to find out. I thought it'd be best to go into no contact. She sent a text saying 'just wanted to say, thanks.' I felt like I did everything I could, but I then found out from her best friend that our first 'breakup' was due the sex we had. I was shocked, cause she never told me. I still don't know if it was the cause for this second breakup. Perhaps.


Upon a two weeks after our breakup, I went to my church, and had a terrific time receiving the sermon, but I wasn’t ‘filled’. So on my way back, I call her to see what time her evening Mass was. I had such a good time at my church, I wanted to go to another service, even it was at her Church. I go there that evening and meet the Church’s Direct of Formation, and give him a quick backstory, and said I was going through a difficult time. He invited me to see him later that week. So I did, and gave him a large portion of my story (Not with what I know now, but then). And he then invited me back to next week’s Mass, to which I said ‘ok’. For some reason I felt compelled to email my ex explaining more of what I had ‘found out’, and told her I was attending next week’s Mass upon request of the DoF, and that if she wanted me to attend a different one, to tell me. She didn’t reply.

At Mass, I’m nervous/excited to run into her, even though it was unlikely. I knew if she was there, that I wouldn’t engage with her. I was there upon a request of a friend. She WAS there, and was with someone else. Someone who I know was very connected to the Church. Was this the someone ‘more grounded in their faith?’ I was hurt, and upon leaving in my car, I see her and him walking out holding hands and being very close. She looked RIGHT at me, and I just left.

Now, to tell myself that I was the bigger man, I decided to start looking into Catholicism. To see what I was missing, and the first thing I looked up was how they view sex. I was torn in two, and was CRUSHED. I tried to call her, couldn’t get her, but I knew I had to talk to somebody. It was somewhat late, so I drove to the Church, hoping to find ANYONE to talk to. No one was there and the building was locked up. I just collapsed by the front door and cried for half an hour. I felt I had an intense sickness inside me, and for WHATEVER reason, I was absolutely unable to pray. My mind simple would NOT let me go to my ‘place’. I could not pray for forgiveness, and I was a marked man. If I could not ask for forgiveness, then I was condemned to Hell. I started studying more about Catholicism, but was internally torn up behind my intents. Was I doing it to try and get her back? Was I doing it so that I could receive forgiveness? A few friends I mentioned it to warned me to not do it, cause it was for her. I was playing with fire here.

I decided to stick with my studies, despite my internal conflict with what my intentions were really for. But for some reason I kept pursuing it because I was still felt like I was a ‘marked man.’ It was too difficult for me to do on my own, so I started visiting the DoF more often, and I eventually started to tell him EVERYTHING. He understood my conflict with what my intentions were, and told me I should read ‘Rome Sweet Home’ as the author was somewhat in my same position. I thank GOD for him and his willingness to listen and administer to my needs. This was around the 20th of Dec.

Then about a week and a half ago, while traveling for vacation with my friends, I read the whole book. We stopped at a Target, and I decided to pick up a New King James Version Bible for 3 bucks so that I could refer to the scriptures that the author was quoting. Best money EVER spent.

Over a couple days, I figured I would try to read the Bible with the mindset of a Catholic. Mary is venerated as are the Saints. There is ONE Church. With one faith, one body. And that the Pope is Holy, and so on and so forth. Slowly and surely, I started to see some connections. I must’ve read the New Testament 8 times, and I started tabbing pages, and circling verses. I even started looking at the Reformation and the exact history behind it, so I could understand where MY religion came from, instead of just what was taught to me. Then I did an incredible thing, where I started replacing the word ‘Christ’ with ‘Church’, seeing as we have church FOR Christianity because of Christ. (I did the same with a lot of other words, as it’s written that he’s ‘named’ several different things.) I tried to keep things in context with how the Gospels were written, who by, when, where they learned everything THEY were saying. I knew these words didn’t just materialize from God with Him saying “Here you guys go. Here’s my promise, and I hope you enjoy it. Love ya, and don’t forget to call!”

All of a sudden EVERYTHING started to click. ALL the scriptures, both New and Old, seemed to just be leaping out at me, and I was feel I was truly filled with the Holy Spirit. I could see prophecies fulfilled, promises made, arks being built. I started confirming everything that the Church was founded on with this little NKJV Bible that I bought for 3 bucks. I try to describe how I was reading like a pool. Beforehand, it’d be as if I was above the water, and I could see the top layer very clearly. It was quite beautiful, but why is that water has ripples in some places, and refracts objects in it? Like the image of a straw in a glass, it’s crooked. As I am reading NOW, it was like I was below the surface of the water, and I could still see the top just as clearly, but now I could see everything underNEATH as how it really was. Nothing was being refracted anymore, and I was in a pool of knowledge and love. Thinking on it now, I think I was being ‘baptized’ spiritually by ‘jumping’ in this pool and going for a swim. =P


A couple days ago, I went back to the DoF, as he’s now a very good friend of mine, and I started explaining what I had found. He just smiled. And I told him on the spot that I needed to convert. I HAD to convert. I felt like I had been to Hell and was rising out of it. I KNEW God had put my ex into my life for a REASON. There was a REASON she was Catholic, and that she broke up with me, and said the things she did. EVERYTHING happened for a reason, for MY life. Perhaps for others. I had long ago abandoned the idea that I was doing this for me so that I ‘get her back’. This was about my salvation, about curing the ‘sickness’ I had inside that caused me to collapse, both physically and spiritually. I was always an Evangelist with Protestantism, but now I know that I can, and should, speak the TRUTH.

It’s still only been a month and a half since we’ve broken up, and about a month of no contact. I’m still not completely over her, but I know I’m really far along in truly ‘letting go.’ It’s weird to think that myself, and my ex with her new bf will all be attending the same Church, but I hope she understands. I contacted her two days ago trying to get with her to explain to her, and especially to THANK her for playing her role in my life. But she’s ignored my requests, and so I sent her an email last night simply saying that I was converting, and that it hurts me to be ignored from someone who had not long ago offered her hand in friendship. But I can’t change her, and so I just hope that when she sees me (tomorrow, yikes!), that she would be willing to listen to the truth of why I was doing it. I think the day she saw me in my car a month ago made her think I was attending to try and get her back, or because I was stalking her. Which of course isn’t true, but I’ve been keeping a journal of everything since my first meeting with the DoF, and I put my deepest thoughts and fears and joys into it. I did not lie, as it’s hard to lie to myself when writing in it. Perhaps I could just show her that if she really wants to know. I think that it would do a better job than having her listen to me talk about everything and trying to interpret it. I feel she hates me still, because she’s acting very cold, irritable, and distant.

I dunno, I feel that a thanks is in order to someone who helps save your soul. Even if we don’t get back together, or see each other ever again, or if she always has an animosity towards me.

(There’s obviously a LOT of stuff I’ve omitted from my whole story, so that I could try and keep it as short and concise as possible. Thanks for sticking with it!)

-Hoping to officially convert with a LOT of help and LOVE from THE Church by this Easter



I just wanted to add as well, that in my conversion, I would have visions of all the Saints and Mary and everyone else cheering me on. It was SUCH a FANTASTIC feeling! Like I was being called home to the biggest house and family on earth and heaven.

MANY praises and thanks to ALL those who are strong and pray for Protestants and converts!

I love SO much that I can read the Bible with SO much more conviction and sincerity. And that when I pray, it holds ALL the power that it should have.

As I mentioned earlier, I was striving for a God-centered relationship here on earth, and it's so strange to look back at what I was thinking then, and not REALLY knowing what it meant. I was mad for a couple days right after our split, but it really was her that deserved better. I can't thank and praise her enough for what she's done for me, for what EVERYONE has done for me. And I'll be praying for her that her new relationship IS blessed and worthy of God. As a spiritual member of her family and of mine, I can always love her as instructed by Christ.

My soul is by far worth WAY more than any earthly relationship, and so knowing the 'true' meaning of a God centered relationship, I can strive for a BEAUTIFUL and healthy marriage of unconditional love.



hmmm, this story means a lot to me actually, and was the absolute perfect timing!! Amazing how God works in such mysterious ways... Thanks for sharing that and may God bless your new found soul!


Its an AMAZING story! Thanks so much for sharing it. I was in the middle of reading it when a friend called and I so didn’t feel like talking - I wanted to finish your story!

So glad you are joining the “Tiber Swim Class”! Rome Sweet Home was a big factor in mine too. I have my conversion story on this forum somewhere and when I find it I’ll post a link for you, and for any other interested readers of long conversions stories. Our stories are different, yet so the same because of that GREAT JOY of discovery of the true Church of Jesus. No, He didn’t just leave us a book to figure out, He established a Church! We don’t have to wonder how the heck we will ever grow in holiness - He gave us a clear way to receive His graces so that we can do the impossible, grow in holiness - He wants us to receive Him Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity body, so that we can have life in us!

Your story is very uplifting. You have learned so much., You have a fine future ahead of you in the Lord, and in life, and in relationships.

I think I can understand why your ex girlfriend doesn’t want to talk to you. A huge mistake happened, a huge precious loss, when she was entrusted in your hands. There is regret, and wishing it never happened. A woman is a responder, and its hard not to blame, as she looks to a man to protect her. I think it would be good to tell her about your faith, but better first to come to her (may have to be by letter) with true remorse for having led her where she is so sorry now that she went. Only then you can tell her about the beautiful life that grew out of these ashes. And tell her you are praying for her. In reparation, perhaps you can offer Masses in her name (through a sacred congregation, rather than call attention to her at her own parish).


Thanks for sharing your story, I always enjoy reading fellow convert's stories of conversion.

Just keep doing what you're doing. Conversion isn't always easy, but believe me, in the end it is so worth it. You'll end up with a deeper meaning to your faith and will appreciate it that much more.

I was also Lutheran.

I can understand your ex's wanting to distance herself from you. She lost a precious part of herself to you, and saw herself sinning with you. I think she was probably scared for her faith, and knowing that the faith was more important than the relationship, she had to distance herself. I'd say, focus on your faith and yourself, and let God do the work. If she's meant to be in your life whether just as friends or as more, He will take care of the work if you just trust in Him.

And you said you were a virgin previous to this, well, you can once more take a commitment to saving yourself for marriage. One important part of repentance is to work to not do that sin again. Sex before marriage does a world of hurt to the people involved. I don't speak from experience here as I myself haven't done that, but from reading forums on here, I can only see that it does more pain that help.

Anyways, blessings to you on your journey!


I am going to go back and read your conversion…however, just wanted to suggest that maybe you start a blog and link your blog in your signature, so that everytime you post, someone might want to peek at your blog and your story…

God bless.


Your story is beautiful. God does work in mysterious ways.

About your ex....

You need to stop contacting her.

Or she will never believe this isn't all about her. And you being obsessed with her.

By now you will have realized the great disservice you both did to each other in taking each other's virginity. Only you know whose idea that was more... hers or yours. We don't need to know.

But if she felt pressured into it in any way she is angry at you because she knows she can never give that gift to the man who really wants to marry her someday.

Whatever her issues are, they are her issues. Keep your eyes on God and move forward. Pray for her.

God reforms hearts. Your search for truth is good. But to her it may seem like your knowing her made you a better person and her knowing you made her a worse person. She won't forgive you till she forgives herself.

Leave her alone and let her work things out with her own future. She has indicated by her actions she does not really want a friendship. And really, you can never go back to just being friends when you have taken it as far as you have. People say that as a way to get out of relationship. Friends don't lead each other into sin.

Needless to say, you don't tell anyone else that you and she did anything. Not ever. Just vow you will never fall into that trap again.

Good luck. And welcome to Catholicism. The one place where you can hear Christ say to you through the priest, "Go in peace, your sins are forgiven you."


As for healing from your breakup…

You went together about a year before you had sex. That’s about how long it takes for reality to set in with couples that think they are “perfect for each other” in the beginning. Once the fantasy parts of the relationship disappear and the differences in faith, outlook, ambitions and personalities really emerge, it takes about a year… then lots of relationships crumble.

Yours may have crumbled anyway. You slept with her, which created a bond, which may have kept it going longer. Then you slept with her two more times, which violated her own personal standards and made her think you were someone who was going to make her have to trade down on her personal standards in other areas in marriage. (Like birth control, maybe.) So she realized she needed to get out of it for good. Sleeping with you was just making it harder to break up with you.

It may have ended anyway. As you were then was not what she needed. (Or you would both be virgins still.)

What I’m saying is, you maybe aren’t used to relationships and while you thought she was the one for you, she probably wasn’t. Sleeping with her either hastened the end or prolonged the inevitability.

In any case, it muddied the waters for making a grounded decision about each other. And it made it impossible for her to see you in public with other people around knowing what you’ve done with each other.

If they go to the same mass usually, you might want to go to a different one. When she sees you, you are a constant reminder to her (and maybe her boyfriend) of her lost virginity.

Let someone else find out who the person you are now is. You will have much more to build solidly on.

(And the Catholic Church has need of good musicians also!)


Thank you for sharing your beautiful story and congratulations on your decision to convert. You will definitely find what you have been seeking and you realized just how much you had been missing but didn`t know it.

I agree with other posters who said your ex-girlfriend might be feeling that she needed to break up with you since your relationship had led her to commit mortal sin. Even though it was consensual, she might be feeling a much bigger sense of loss. Since it happened multiple times she might feel that the only way to be true to her faith is to break up since both of you couldnt resist temptation. I know you werent married, and I am not trying to make you feel bad, but as a single Catholic female, one of the things i look for in a potential spouse, is whether I think this person will be able to help me get to heaven, and be strong when i am weak, or whether he will lead me to sin. As Catholics, we have a responsibility to avoid situations where we will be tempted to sin. When we recieve Absolution through the Sacrament of Reconicilliation/Confession we promise to avoid situations where we know the temptation to sin will likely outweigh our ability to resist sin (for example spending the night at your boyfriend`s house).

This might be part of the reason your girlfriend broke up with you but there could also be other reasons. Please respect her decision to not have contact with you. I know you mean well but it appears to be causing her pain and is unwanted. It is okay to write a letter telling her how genuinely sorry you are that you committed mortal sin, and now that you are converting and are studying Catholicism, understand just how grave that really is. Let her know you will be happy to hear from her if she chooses to reach out, but out of respect for her wishes, will not attempt to contact her again. Finally, let her know you will be praying for her.

Congratulations again on your decision to convert. I will keep you and your former girlfriend in my prayers.




Thank you all soo sooo soo much for your support and prayers. I cannot express enough gratitude for you all, cause I see now really where the power of prayer comes from. That being said, I’ve had a really roller coaster day today. I went to Mass today, and I was so overjoyed from what I was experiencing. EVERYTHING made sense, I read it in the Bible (properly), witnessed the Eucharist for what it really is, the praying, the sermon. Just, everything. I was smiling the entire, and especially when viewing everyone receiving Christ. It was was really a tremendous experience.

I also approached my Mom (parents divorced) tonight about me converting, and tried to explain to her that it wasn’t for my ex, but truly was for me. She said that ‘No one can make up their mind that fast’. Then encouraged me to go back to a Lutheran church. She is all but disowning me, and warned me that my entire family will be against me. I was prepared for this, and I’m a warrior of God. I have Scripture and the Church with me to protect me. I know what I’m doing is the right choice because God’s calling me here, and I cannot say no to His callings.

I think a lot of people are set back by how fast I’ve really converted. I mean, it was really only less than a month, but as a man, and as who I am, I don’t like not understanding things. Being fearful of things, especially the Church. I had always recognized it as the source of where my religion came from, but I really had liked mine, and never considered to investigate further. But when I was thrown into such a tumble, I just didn’t understand anything. I became absolutely DRIVEN to find the answers, because I cared so SO much for her. I have literally been putting about 10-12 hours a DAY studying everything. I can’t seem to stop either, which I don’t mind.

I dated her to begin with because she was so faithful in Christ, and that was a number one priority for me in my relationships. When we had sex, I knew what I had done to myself, and it felt like the worst one I’d ever done. Even after masturbation, I had always felt terrible, despite me ‘knowing’ I could just ask for forgiveness. (I have since of course stopped, as I know the consequences of it, and I don’t know if I’m qualified for confession yet). I was often offended when in years past, girls would try to get too ‘friendly’ with me, and people just didn’t understand why I’d push them away.

When I had gone to see the DoF the day after collapsing, I explained to him how I was so hurt knowing how badly I had hurt her after reading that what we did was a mortal sin. And that she couldn’t receive the Eucharist just added on top of it (I’ve since learned you can through confession). I also reasoned out how much MORE she was hurt when we had sex the next two times. I’d even promised her and the beginning of our relationship that I would never hurt her, but I was SO ignorant. It just isn’t the same for Protestants, but I’d always kinda viewed sex as Catholics do (as something sacred and with purpose).

Right now, I understand the consequences for my actions. And as a man striving for redemption and Christ-like qualities, I will NOT be afraid and take responsibility for my soul. Since I was a musician at my Methodist church, I have to tell them that I can no longer play (I can’t really justify me helping them worship, it just seems weird). I have to tell other bands I’m in as well that I’m just not comfortable with what I’m doing for the same reasons.

I’m in such a limbo where I feel overjoyed by getting my soul back, but I’m losing everyone I love because they just don’t understand.

Please pray for me


Another thing people don’t get is that I also work at UPS in the early morning hours. Due to the nature of the job, I don’t get the opportunity to talk to people. So I humbly work alone every morning for 4-5 hours, and it gives me a GREAT opportunity to sort things out.

Also, some of you mentioned writing my ex a letter, but I care so much for her, that I don’t want to hurt her anymore by giving her anything from me. I can see myself through her eyes, and everything that I represent to her, and that she must look upon me as manipulative and as a corrupter. Because of these things, how would she ever believe anything I’ve written to her? I mean, I have my journal which has a LOT of things in it, but that journal is the depth of my soul. Only God and I know those things. And if I were to give that to her, how would she know I didn’t just write all the ‘right’ things?

And what’s really messed up, is that I now know her role in me losing my virginity. That WAS something sacred to me as well. But because I know the intent of things, it wasn’t the same KIND of sacred as what I know now. Geez, I’m so very very conflicted and confused.


God bless you, brother, I’m so happy you’re making this step so young. You will never be sorry.
Just remember you are going to church for Christ, so if you see or hear of anyone, church leaders for example, who’ve fallen into sin, don’t make the common mistake of thinking the church is no good.
You can go to confession, the sacrament of Reconciliation, after you’ve been accepted into the church. It’s a beautiful sacrament which will really help you.
If I might offer a suggestion, the King James version is beaufifully written, but a little hard to understand. If you want something more contemporary yet faithful in translation, a lot of people recommend the Revised Standard version, Catholic Edition.

I don’t really see why you couldn’t still play music for the Methodists, as they worship the same God. They just don’t have the fullness of the faith. Still, it’s probably best that you stick with the mass as you are converting. But there are many great Christians who are protestants, and lots of us converts have a great deal of respect for them. Billy Graham, for example.
Praying for you. Take a deep breath and take it slow – you want to be in this for the long haul. One of the Bible studies written by Dr Scott Hahn would probably help a good deal. – maybe your parish has one.


Thank you Viki, I appreciate you taking the time to ready my story. I'm only using this NKJV Bible because it was only three bucks, and I don't feel bad for writing and tabbing all over it. I find it incredibly easy to understand as I'm coming from reading primarily a NIV Bible. I find the truths in both versions, as the words for some reason make little difference. I'm ordering a Revised Standard Version as a more permanent replacement though.

Scott Hahn is actually coming to my area this Friday and Saturday to do the Men of Valor series. I have of course signed up as this is VERY related to my situation. I've read several of his articles as well and plan on reading some more of his books. My Church is very gracious with their library, and have offered me full use of its books and study areas. I am very very blessed that I'm so well taken care of by them.

As for the music thing, my DoF and I have the same feelings about it still. I'll eventually have to tell them of my conversion, and that'll create a lot of tension. It's hard because everyone I know, knows of my ex's faith, and that we've broken up. And now that I'm converting to it (even though with good intentions), I'm still going to be judged as doing it for the wrong reasons. And I KNOW I'll be put to trial by them, and their efforts to try to get me to convert back.

I know I'm no longer invincibly ignorant because I know the truth. I see it in every Bible I read and in every passage I hear. I could never convert back, but I can't explain those things to them, or to ANYONE for that matter.


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