A bit of humor -10 reasons to be an Episcopalian

  1. No snake handling.
  2. You can believe in dinosaurs.
  3. Male and female God created them; male and female we ordain them.
  4. You don’t have to check your brains at the door.
  5. Pew aerobics.
  6. Church year is color-coded.
  7. Free wine on Sunday.
  8. All of the pageantry - none of the guilt.
  9. You don’t have to know how to swim to get baptized.
    And the Number One reason to be an Episcopalian:
  10. No matter what you believe, there’s bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you

WRT #8, Roman Catholics do not believe in ordaining women priests.

That’s why he said Episcopal, not Catholic.

The Episcopal Church (Anglicans in NA) are famous for their female (and now gay, IIRC) ordinations.


3 is good enough for a T-shirt.


:frowning: Are you referring to the pastor who died after being bitten by a snake he was handling while preaching? His son followed his example and died as well.

snippets --> Father

“Jamie Coots died Saturday evening after refusing to be treated, Middlesboro police said.” :eek:

“On “Snake Salvation,” the ardent Pentecostal believer said that he believed that a passage in the Bible suggests poisonous snakebites will not harm believers as long as they are anointed by God. The practice is illegal in most states, but still goes on, primarily in the rural South.”

In February 2013, Coots was given one year of probation for crossing into Tennessee with venomous snakes. He was previously arrested in 2008 for keeping 74 snakes in his home, according to National Geographic. Tennessee banned snake handling in 1947 after five people were bitten in churches over two years’ time, the channel says on the show site.

snippets --> Son

“The 21-year-old pastor, who has assumed leadership of Middlesboro’s Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name, can be seen in a video praying and convulsing as the deadly serpent writhes in his arms.”

“After the snakes were handled, Cody and his team also held a flaming torch to their bare hands.”

“Cody has a wife and child of his own but refuses to give up the life-threatening practices he believes are sanctioned by the Bible.”

Even if a bite appears to be deadly, Cody has said that he’ll stay true to his dad’s example and refuse medical treatment.” :eek:

“When an ambulance arrived at the church at 8:30 p.m. Saturday, medical workers were told Coots had gone home, the Middlesboro Police Department said in a statement. Contacted at his house, Coots refused to be treated by doctors.”

“Emergency workers left about 9:10 p.m. that night. When they returned about an hour later, the preacher was dead.”

:frowning: They were crazy. We can’t expect our angels to shield us from dangers if we don’t even *try *to protect ourselves. This father and son dashed their feet against stones.

I think that there is a way of immunizing yourself against snake poison. It involves taking a small dose of poison, and then slowly over a period of days or weeks, increasing the dosage.

What’s number ten about?

See post 5.

I think this is suppose to be humorous, folks. Why are you treating this as something serious?

Having been an Episcopalian for 15 years I found this to be great humor.
#6 for sure! :smiley:
I was not sure what #10 was about til I read the thread.

Thanks for the morning funny:D

I can see this being funny maybe 20 years ago. :slight_smile:

It is interesting however in that many of these can be applied to Catholics because it seems this is mostly a dig at non-liturgical denominations. The only one I would highlight is

  1. All of the pageantry - none of the guilt.

There is actually loads of guilt to be found ever since the Episcopal Church swallowed the Leftist Kook-Aid. It’s hard to avoid a sermon on how everyone needs to attone for their environmental crimes and latent racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. Frankly, if you can spot a practical difference between Episcopalian, Unitarian, and Political Correctness, then your eyes are sharper than mine.

Vestments, done in varying degrees of tastefulness, can be a clue. Not always, but sometimes.


God also created dogs, cats and trees. :shrug:

I really enjoy the humor of Stephen Colbert. I note, however, that at times his humor has a false logical underpinning that makes it less than humorous, and can even be offensive. As actual proselytizing is disallowed, and respect for all faiths is mandated, I think such attempts at humor are best used on other websites.

I apologize for the cold water.

Actually I don’t get #6. What is that in reference to?

Standing, sitting, kneeling.

Oh - got it. For some reason I was invisioning people leaping over the pews!

  1. You can leave en masse.


Actually the more I read this list, the more I like it! Free wine on Sunday, oh brother! Do Episcopalians believe in transubstantiation?

I like #2 also. Those full immersion baptisms are really WET!

Depends, as all such things depend with respect to Anglicans, on which Episcopalian you ask.


Usually one is holding a bulletin that has the service and responses outlined, as well as references to the prayer book. So one has the bulletin, the prayer book, the hymnal and sometimes ANOTHER song book to deal with…while sitting, kneeling and standing.

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