So I’ve been in the Catholic Church since 2011, I am frustrated, confused and I need to rant so hopefully you folks will do me the justice to just hear me out.
I am so frustrated with the Catholic Church as a whole. I am working on my Master’s degree in Catechetics and Evangelization from Franciscan University, I have taught at schools and in parishes, but yet the one thing that I feel called to, I get nothing.
I entered into the Church attracted by the beauty of the Mass. I felt called to the Priesthood, and I discerned that for several years until I could get no peace. I gave up, got married and just last year I got thoughts of the Priesthood again. This time stronger and much more forceful. I can’t even sit in Mass or the Liturgy without the thought of the Priesthood bearing itself upon me. I know God is not forcing anything on me, but hinting at these things. I’ve thought, “Hey maybe its not the Priesthood, just the Diaconiate” but I can’t be a deacon until I’m 35.
So let me get this straight… I have a desire to be a Priest (that I can’t seem to get rid of), I have want to go further in my relationship with Christ, lay down my life for his most Holy Church! Yet, the Church says… no sorry. WHAT?! I honestly don’t want to hear a single word about shortages in Priestly Vocations. Apparently its not that bad, or you wouldn’t be so picky about someone’s marital status. I understand the argument, and I agree, a City Priest should not be married. For those areas, Celibacy needs to be mandatory. Yet, there are a lot of country churches out there that could really use a Married Priest, so what’s the issue. Oh wait… it’s not a part of tradition… well… It actually was not formalized as a mandatory order until after the first 1000 years of Christianity and notice how out of the 24 particular churches in the world that the Romans are the only ones who do this??? I mean the Anglicans ordain married priests, the Orthodox ordain married priests. The scriptures ALLOW for married priests. So what is honestly the issue?
These days the only thing keeping me in the Catholic Church is 1) My wife is Roman Catholic and I love her to much to pull her away from the Church (even though she agrees with me on the married Priest thing) and 2) I believe firmly that Pope Francis holds the Keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. He is the Prime Minister of the Kingdom of God and thusly, anyone not in communion with him is not a member of the Kingdom of God. Sorry, that’s how the Old Davidic Kingdom worked, and since Christ established the Davidic Kingdom again on earth and in heaven, then that’s how it works.
Don’t even mention the Eastern Churches, they won’t ordain in the United States. Why? Probably because they don’t want to make the Latin Bishops angry and get that right banned for another 100 years.
Ok rant over. I really am lost, confused and very frustrated, please keep me in your prayers as I discern these things. At this point, if I leave the Catholic church, I’ll probably go Orthodox. Don’t agree with the whole women priests thing the Anglicans got going on.