A little while ago you all helped me very much. You told me I had scrupulosity and how to go about the right way of “fixing it.” Thank you so much! Now, unfortunately for me, due to my situation I wasn’t able to find a priest to guide me through this. But the scrupulosity was a manifestation of my OCD and that in itself is being treated. I feel so much better! But I have a few questions I was still hoping you could answer for me.
The first one is about doubts. In confession this morning, as I was receiving absolution, I was battling doubts. I started worrying that since I wasn’t paying attention to the words the absolution was not going to help me. I don’t really believe that anymore, but I’m still confused and hoping you could tell me if I really should ignore this.
I had serious doubts all through mass and battled them all the way up to communion, telling myself it was a devil trying to get me not to receive our Lord. Did I do the right thing? I kind of panicked as I was receiving, asking questions like “Do I really believe this is Jesus?” and battling those doubts until the Mass was about to end, when all I felt was exhausted.
Furthermore, yesterday (a Great Feast day for us in Melkite Greek Catholicism - in other words a Holy Day of Obligation) our priest told us we could go to the zoo despite having to pay to get in. We couldn’t go in the end, but then thought we might as well go today, on a Sunday, assuming that anything we could do on a Holy Day we could do on a Sunday. Is this alright? It was a major point of doubt for me during church, leading to thoughts such as “I’m just going to get through communion and deal with this later.” and things that I’m worrying were sins in themselves, like “if its a sin I can deal with it later.” :shrug: Obviously I’m very confused.
The second is about taking the Lord’s name in vain. When it happens in your head, is it a mortal sin? Or do you actually have to say the word? On the way home from church my brother made a comment about “Catholic Rap” and the word “Christ” came into my mind, as would be sung by a rapper like Eminem. It happens a lot, and I think it happens more often than naturally would because of the OCD (worrying so much about avoiding things that you actually do it is a big problem for me). So, long story short, is “taking the Lord’s name in vain” in your mind a mortal sin?
Thanks so much everyone!