A couple wants to leave the Church

Since their entry into the Church, this couple has been ostracized greatly for their former lives. They are not murderers, child abusers, etc, (which could cause people to be leary I’m sure).
They have a child who is witness to this treatment and it is effecting the child, so much so they are concerned it will poison their child against Catholicism. They see it as possibly an only solution.
I have witnessed some of this myself. The woman approached another woman and asked her a question, (something innocent, like “what is that perfume?” or something similar.) The woman didn’t answer her. I started to turn away but hearing the woman ask again, and not hearing a reply I turned back to look, the other woman appeared to be ignoring her. The asker asked again, (maybe thinking the woman didn’t hear) and the woman just looked at her with an unpleasant look on her face. It dawned on the asker then that she was being snubbed. Her look was totally crestfallen as she walked away.
She has since experienced much of this. She is repentant of her former lifestyle, and is nothing like the person she once was. I do not understand this.
Though I have experienced some of this in my own journey, I really don’t know how to advise her to deal with it. (I asked a question earlier about a Saint that would be helpful perhaps, but have received no replies)
Why are we praying for sinners, if once they repent, they are scorned and shamed? It almost appears as if there are those whose true intent is to drive people away.
I have dealt with this to some degree myself, but not nearly as much as they.
I know the people in the Church are not perfect, and yet this is horrible to observe. And to the extreme/

Can anyone help? I KNOW this is not the Christian message, but it certainly seems to have overtaken this community.

Thank you for any responses, they are greatly welcomed as I am in a quandary as to what to do.
I know prayer helps, but there must be another avenue to add to that prayer.

Peace be with all of you.

There really is no need to answer this now, as I believe I have found all the answer I will need in my search for the Saint.
(Who turned out to be Saint Margaret of Cortona)
Thanks everyone, may your lives be blessed.

Peace to all.

I’m just getting up and seeing this. I’m glad you found what you needed.

My heart goes out to this woman. I don’t understand how people who call themselves Christians can act this way. They ought to be ashamed of themselves. Has she spoken to your Priest yet? Since you’ve witnessed some of it maybe you could go with her. Unless Father knows this is going on in his parish he can’t do anything to stop it.

I hope when you say they want to leave the Church that you mean they are thinking about transferring to another parish and not leave Catholicism.

If God has forgiven her past, who are we to treat her in such a manner.

Saint Margaret of Cortona
http://www.margaretsrosaries.com/Images/cortonapic.jpg**PRAYER TO SAINT MARGARET OF CORTONA FOR ANY NEED **

O Saint Margaret of Cortona, admirable model of charity and goodness, because you loved Jesus so much and He enriched you with many privileges, we beg you to help us in our many needs and particularly to obtain from God the swift resolution to all we ask through your intercession…
Have pity on us in our sorrow. We place all our confidence and hope in you. Dear Saint Margaret, you were so singularly blessed by Jesus in this life! Help us through your powerful intercession, to be heard so that we may live on Earth as a true follower of Jesus Christ and then have the happiness of enjoying Him with you in heaven. Amen.

If it were me, next time I witnessed a fellow parishioner snubbing her, I would publicly defend her and confront them on the spot.

I would also speak with the priest, parish staff, deacons, and whoever else needed to hear that this blatantly sinful behaviour was happening right in Church. How could someone go to Mass and have the Eucharist and seconds later do this nonsense?

How does the whole Church know of their past sins?

I would ask this couple if they wish to allow one woman’s evil action to have so much power over them that they would leave the Church Christ established.

If they leave, that’s letting her win.

I also suggest they forgive her by taking the pain she’s caused and offering it up for the sake of her soul. Sounds like she needs it.

Is there anything wrong with talking to the “snubber” and saying something along the line of, “Why are you being rude to my friend?” I’m assuming you know her as well. If it was me, and it was someone I knew, I would probably tell them, “You know it really bothers me when you are disrespectful to my friend.” On the other hand, you haven’t said what sort of things the friend in question has done. Is it possible that she has hurt the other parishoner in some way and she doesn’t want anything to do with her for that reason?

I had to get some rest or I would have responded sooner.
Father knows a bit of what is going on and has tried to deal with it diplomatically and as tactfully as possible, I think alluding to it even in some homilys regarding sinners coming into the fold, and also for a while during the prayers that the community might be healed. He is a much more charitable man than what I had previously credited him with.
To be fair, some of the woman’s past did touch members of a nearby community. (In a neighboring town) But in this area, the way things are inter-connected, it may as well have been here.
Their thought was to withdraw their child from the environment, because the child has mentioned some of the behaviour witnessed, and though knowing the details, it is hard for the child to understand why it persists even though the parents have changed. The child is a teen. The parents are fully Catholic, and don’t want to leave Catholicism per se, but don’t want to see their kid be poisoned by all the hatred cast their way. (Especially at the mom)

Thank you much for this. I would like to save it on my computer, and make some print-outs?
I had not seen the prayer yet as I went to bed shortly after finding out who the Saint was.


This particular incident didn’t happen at the Church, rather a social gathering of sorts.
I don’t think this kind of incident will happen again, as she’s become rather withdrawn from the community, except to attend Mass.
The priest knows and is doing what he can.
My hands were tied, but I really feel strongly now that I need to work hard at getting more of the “social outcasts” into the Church. Once I thought it couldn’t be done, that they would be faced with too much ridicule and scorn. Now, after reading about St. Margaret I have some hope.

How does the whole Church know? It’s the way the surrounding towns and church communities are inter-woven.

Peace be with you.

This one woman was blatant, and perhaps caving to social pressure herself. No, I don’t think she has ever been directly in the path of the other’s sin, nor indirectly. It is just the way people are, if you want to stay in the circle, you don’t befriend someone outside of it.

Kind of like the popular kids vs. the unpopular kids in school.

The couple does want to stay in the Church, but they don’t want their child to be poisoned against the Church. They seem to be faced with odds that many will not ever have to contend with.

Peace be with you.

No, the snubber is someone who wants nothing to do with me either. What am I going to do? Stand there and yell at her to listen to me? She seemed to be pretty good at ignoring people. That incident was quite a while back too, and at the time I was too shocked to do anything. I think when I finally came out of my stupor, all parties had left. (imagine one of those moments where you are wide-eyed, mouth gaping, and at the end you have to shake your head and go “what just happened?”.)
I pointed this event out mostly because it was so blatant, and would underline what is going on. The woman is pretty much just, well, shunned. Ignored. And it has had an effect.
I don’t get it. We want sinners to come in, we want them to change their lives, and yet, when they do?
No, the two of them have nothing directly or indirectly, to do with each other. I can’t give every detail I know, but I do know that one.

Peace be with you.

Then this is a great opportunity to teach their child about forgiveness.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.