A coworker's cheatin man

So a few months ago a coworker of mine was telling me all about her marital problems. Apparently her husband had an affair with another woman, and got this woman pregnant, so he’s moved out and is living with this other woman and the baby. So my coworker tells me all this and then says, “I hate those Catholics!” She then goes on to explain that it’s the Catholic Church’s fault that her husband got this woman pregnant, since he told her he couldn’t use a condom because Catholics cannot contracept.
In retrospect I probably should have pointed out that the Catholic church also says that you shouldn’t be having sex with anyone other than your spouse, but since she is not his first wife and I’m not sure if his first marriage was annulled, she may not be his wife in the eyes of the church, so it was a can of worms I had no desire to open.
But all this got me thinking. I know sex outside of marriage is always sinful, but does it become more sinful if a barrier method contraceptive is used? I could see how hormonal contraceptives could make it more sinful, since you may unwittingly abort a baby, but I guess I just can’t see how this guy could be worried about the sin of using a condom with his mistress.
Although I’m sure he’s just using this Catholic reasoning as an exscuse for just not liking condoms…

nikki

Although I’m sure he’s just using this Catholic reasoning as an exscuse for just not liking condoms…

I think your instincts are correct. This is like blaming someone who told you not play with matches for setting yourself on fire because he didn’t tell you not to play with matches while standing over a puddle of gasoline.

Everything is overridden, I think, because of the adultery. The adultery, whether he used a condom or not…is the sin that he should be most concerned with. The contraception is sinful, but it doesn’t take precedence over the adultery. In other words…you wouldn’t tell someone…‘if you do commit adultery, just make sure you use a condom.’ Both are sins–but the husband is caught now, so he might be trying to justify the behavior. I will pray for your poor coworker…sounds like such a mess going on there.:frowning:

I think your right on here! :thumbsup:

and… oh brother… how the dumb mind of the little head tries to reason and out-think the big head… what an excuse:rolleyes:

should tell him to grow up and be a real man and take care of his family.

Paul

Yes, it makes no sense.

He’s going to be in a state of mortal sin anyway b/c of the adultery. Why would he care about committing another mortal sin if he was willing to committ the first one?

God Bless

It sounds like your coworker and her husband are both suffering from a supreme lack of insight here. First, its rediculous to assume that the husband takes The Church seriously enough to not contracept but not serious enough to avoid adultery. If he was worried about morality or mortal sin he really missed the boat on that one.

Secondly, your friend seems to be under the impression that the problem here is with the fact this other woman got pregnant, and not with the fact her husband stepped out. Her husband found someone else and that’s really all there is to it. While the baby may have uped the timeline I would say it is safe to assume he was physically going to leave anyway. Emotionally he was already gone, and that’s the biggest piece.

Your coworker is just looking for a third party to blame and so she took the strange path of blaming The Church. She probably still loves her husband and so she doesn’t want to blame him yet. She’s hurting now so she’s going through a lot of phases of grief. This will likely pass as she reigns in her emotions and reason starts to assert itself again.

Just comfort her as this is a terrible blow. Once her mind starts seeing all of this clearly your Christian charity in supporting and comforting her will probably reverse any remaining ill feelings towards The Church.

Uncontracepting women are more attractive and have better smelling pheromones (at the unconscious level) than contracepting women. Maybe hubby sniffed his way to a more compelling situation.

Next time around, she shouldn’t contracept, and that might bind her hubby more powerfully to her.

Noncontraceptors are “very married.” It’s better for both their hormones.

I’m dying! This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day- and even funnier if it’s true! Do you have documentation I can look up for this? 'Cause it would really help on those days I’m feeling frumpy, to know that since I don’t contracept I’m already more attractive than someone who does. :smiley:

but since she is not his first wife and I’m not sure if his first marriage was annulled, she may not be his wife in the eyes of the church, so it was a can of worms I had no desire to open.

If she’s not Catholic, why doesn’t she just say “good riddence”?

But all this got me thinking. I know sex outside of marriage is always sinful, but does it become more sinful if a barrier method contraceptive is used? I could see how hormonal contraceptives could make it more sinful, since you may unwittingly abort a baby, but I guess I just can’t see how this guy could be worried about the sin of using a condom with his mistress.
Although I’m sure he’s just using this Catholic reasoning as an exscuse for just not liking condoms…

Its not the Church’s responsibility to teach people the best way to sin.

Here ya go!
scienceblog.com/cms/pill-messes-womens-mate-choosing-17132.html

I think she’s trying to blame someone aside from her husband for this predicament.

-Conall Cernach

Yeah, this whole thing has just bothered me for months. What a silly thing to condemn an entire religion over! But I guess it is easier to blame the Church than to blame yourself for falling for a bad man.
Thanks for all your responses, it was good to hear from people that were as confused by her response as I was!

Nikki

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