A deep pain, and seeking answers


as some of u know, I had posted earlier about having problems with ovukation–i have polycyctis ovarian syndrom…
I have started Camiila a progestrone only pill to regulate my hormonal embalance ( very low progesterone ) and take spirinolactone to lower andogens. The idea was to take this for a year or more then start clomid or some other form of fert. treatments in the hopes of getting pregnant again. I do have 3 children, but 2 are from a previous marriage. I was waiting on an annulment ( which i just got last week…wel first letter saying tribunal found it invalid…now waiting for second tribunal to anull it ) my pain is that we are not married in the church, we go to confession every week so that we can recieve communion. we have a very close relationship w our family priest and he knows our situation. My civillian husbands father came from an adopted family and my civ. husband is the only son. and grandosn on both sides. IT is very ijmportant to him and his dad that he has another biological connection to his father. Unfortunatly I was rushed to the ER 2 weeks ago with unbelievable pain. The DR found a 7 cm cyst on my right ovary and did immediete surgery. I almost lost the ovary, and then today I was rushed back…they found another cyst on my left ovary. there are 2 more forming on my left one. The DR gave me 3 options…a midically induced menopause. I will suffer all the same characteristics of a menopausal women, only I am only 24. A partial hysterectomy, removing both ovaries. or trying to get pregnant now either on our own or with fert. treatments then hysterectomy after the baby would be born. My dilema is that we are trying to not get preg…trying to nt sleep togther as it is while I wait for my annulment. But my biological clock is ticking. MY right ovary suffered a great deal and the falopian tube became twisted during my cyst episode. the fear is that with each new forming cyst the damage is getting worse. the DR said I have a lesser and lesser chance of conceiving every month that goes by and my body produces these massive cysts. what should we do?? my practicality is clashing with my religion. if the first tribunal found it invalid then i am that much closer to having it annulled. what if i wait to long and then lose my fertility all together? please, any comments would help. I am in deep pain tonight. I have been crying on and off all day. I alway sthought i would have 5 or 6 children, i cant bare the idea of being barren at 24.


Before you were born, God had a plan for you here on earth, He wnats you to follow his holy will, not guide his hand. We will pray for your good health, even if you are not able to have children of your own, there are many things you can do for the Lord. Jesus will tell you what to do. I realize having your own children is more valuable than taking care of others children or even adopting, but we don’t know what our cross will be in this life.
But do every thing that the doctors tell you to do. They are sent to you by God too.

notes from Saint Augustine

For this reason the number of sentences before us is to be carefully
considered. For the beatitudes begin with humility: “Blessed are the poor
in spirit,” i.e. those not puffed up, while the soul submits itself to
divine authority, fearing lest after this life it go away to punishment,
although perhaps in this life it might seem to itself to be happy. Then it
(the soul) comes to the knowledge of the divine Scriptures, where it must
show itself meek in its piety, lest it should venture to condemn that which
seems absurd to the unlearned, and should itself be rendered unteachable by
obstinate disputations. After that, it now begins to know in what
entanglements of this world it is held by reason of carnal custom and sins:
and so in this third stage, in which there is knowledge, the loss of the
highest good is mourned over, because it sticks fast in what is lowest.
Then, in the fourth stage there is labour, where vehement exertion is put
forth, in order that the mind may wrench itself away from those things in
which, by reason of their pestilential sweetness, it is entangled: here
therefore righteousness is hungered and thirsted after, and fortitude is
very necessary; because what is retained with delight is not abandoned
without pain. Then, at the fifth stage, to those persevering in labour,
counsel for getting rid of it is given; for unless each one is assisted by
a superior, in no way is he fit in his own case to extricate himself from
so great entanglements of miseries. But it is a just counsel, that he who
wishes to be assisted by a stronger should assist him who is weaker in that
in which he himself is stronger: therefore “blessed are the merciful, for
they shall obtain mercy.” At the sixth stage there is purity of heart, able
from a good conscience of good works to contemplate that, highest good,
which can be discerned by the pure and tranquil intellect alone. Lastly is
the seventh, wisdom itself–i.e. the contemplation of the truth,
tranquillizing the whole man, and assuming the likeness of God, which is
thus summed up: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the
children of God.” The eighth, as it were, returns to the starting-point,
because it shows and commends what is complete and perfect:(1) therefore in
the first and in the eighth the kingdom of heaven is named, “Blessed are
the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven;” and, “Blessed are
they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the
kingdom of heaven:” as it is now said, “Who shall separate us from the love
of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or
nakedness, or peril, or sword?”(2) Seven in number, therefore, are the
things which bring perfection: for the eighth brings into light and shows
what is perfect, so that starting, as it were, from the beginning again,
the others also are perfected by means of these stages.


I am perhaps a clinical catholic. I believe that to make a confession certain things are necessary. One of these is examination of conscience, the next is having an intention of not committing the sin again. If one is living common law and attends confession and intends to continue to live common law after confession then I dont see how any priest could actually give you absolution. The confession is then sacraligious.

We have many things we want to do. The way we want life to be. The trick in life is to learn to do things Gods way and that is really what leads to happiness in the end. Sometimes when we get what we want it leads us to death instead of life. The physical realities of what is happening to you are also signs from God. Nothing is accidental.

In your case the answer is to pray deeply with a desire only to do what God would call you to do and then when he answers do it.


I think you should ask your priest about this and follow his advice.

What does it mean that one tribunal found your marriage invalid, why isn’t this enough and why do you need another tribunal?


If John XXIII is going to recommend St. Augustine, let me add my 25 cents as well. Fill your mind with his marvelous thoughts and words. My prayers are with you Nicole.


St Augustine stuff here: payingattentiontothesky.com/2009/10/13/reading-selections-1-from-pope-john-paul-ii%e2%80%99s-apostolic-letter-augustinum-hipponsensem/


I am an old lady and I didn’t get what I wanted in life when I was younger. I look back at my life and I can see how I wanted to control my life but there are things in life like serious medical problems that causes a woman not to have what they want in life.

Your life is more important than having another child. You have a serious medical problem
where you could die young if you don’t get your surgery done soon. You have the right to say no to surgery but at what cost?

You still have two children to take of who need you. I know they must be very important to you too. Do you wish to post-pone having your surgery and then die young and leave your two kids without a mother?

You must look at the reality of your life. We can’t always get what we want. Get it out of your head that having a child for your next spouse is important. It is not important at all.
What is important is the two kids you already have. You are putting too much pressure on yourself to get something that is totally unrealistic.

Next time you get seriously ill… you may have to have surgery in order to live.

You better go for counseling from a Catholic female therapist. Your priest is kind to you but he doesn’t have the background to understand your true medical situation.
You need to talk it out with a therapist so you can see how unrealistic you are presently.

We all need to pray for you to see God’s wisdom.


we are given absolution because as I stated we do try not to sleep togther and go months at a time with no intercourse. We also took actions to lessen the temptation of the sin.


an anullemnt is a process. it must be found invalid by 2 tribunals to become invalid.


depression and pain and sin begins when we lose humility; its pride and the hurt of selfishness protecting our ego which may lead to these moments of rejection and doubt. As was stated in other posts, confession wipes totally away all of our sins as if they never accured, never happened after the priests gives Jesus’ absolution.
Go in peace to love and to serve the Lord:):):):):):):slight_smile:
Its very difficult to sin while engaged in prayer


Just to add my 2cents here, I got my marriage annulled and found invalid by just one tribunal…Not sure how things work where you live but the tribunal said it was just one approval needed…You should check into that dear…sorry to hear about your situation hopefully GOD can enlighten you and guide you to make the best choice for your children and yourself!!! God bless and good luck!


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.