A Divorced Catholic Mother in Church Tells of Being Alone

A woman tells how she is like a black sheep, having no husband when she goes to church. But God wants the broken to come to him, she says. She says at the end that she regrets being a divorced mom, but incredibly grateful she is a divorced CATHOLIC mom.
see catholicmom.com/2015/10/23/a-synod-for-black-sheep/

I understand this can be difficult (and if you the author is reading this post, this is for you :console: ), but I also feel like this can be a golden opportunity.

Perhaps, she may be called to consecrated life or maybe she may be called to be like a nun later in life like St.Rita.

I know God can bring out the greatest goods even out of the greatest evils, especially through His Mercy.

I’m unclear about what she is saying:

She says she’s glad she’s a divorced Catholic mom…but she also says she feels very self-concious in church and is very interested like never before in the outcome of the family synod because divorced people like her was a topic on the agenda.

So…is she saying she would like the doctrine/teaching on divorced Catholics getting communion to change?
(it was unclear to me whether she receives it or not…)
Or…is she saying she’d like to get remarried and have the church recognize it as valid, so that she could be like those other families going up together?



Well, yes, sometimes being a divorced Catholic mom is lonely – but that’s anywhere and anytime. It has nothing to do with Church teaching or the imagined attitudes of total strangers in the pews.

I am a divorced Catholic mom. And I am loved and welcomed and well-known at my parish and at our parish school where my son is in sixth grade.

Most of my friends are married with children of their own, and many of them are home-schooling families. I’m a public school teacher :eek:

You’d think I’d be a perfect target if anyone wanted to look down their noses at someone. But it’s nothing like that! My friends are loving, welcoming, and totally supportive when I have a need. I like to think that I am the same with them :blush:

I’m sorry some divorced people feel unwelcome in the Church. But I really think that’s more about the emotional scars of divorce than anything else.

I feel lonely sitting in that pew without a husband? Well, that’s because I’m divorced, not because I’m Catholic.


Well said

I can relate to what this woman said. When I got divorced, I was quite self-conscious about myself at mass. As an active member of the parish, I knew a lot of parishioners in different degrees, so not all of them were privy to the my situation. And some of those who were distanced themselves somewhat. In reality, feeling ashamed of my divorce fed into such perception. But this turned out to be a minor nuisance compared to the pain that the memories associated with the parish, where I and my family worshipped together for many years. In the end, such pain was too distracting, leading me to get even more self-conscious and struggle with self-pity instead of focusing on the Lord. As many other things in my life after the divorce, regrettably, even my parish association could not be the same anymore. After a few months, I changed to another parish where I often went for daily mass.

Pax Christi

The way that divorced persons are treated today as compared to when my mother was divorced in the 1950’s is like night and day. We have come a long way as a Church, but we still have a way to go. I pray that never again will people be humiliated like our family was by those representing God to us.

Fortunately, I belong to a parish where people pretty much mind their own business and those who are divorced never are singled out or stigmatized in any way. There are support groups for those going through a divorce or who are divorced. In fact, I don’t even know who is divorced unless they happen to confide in me.

I hope the Church continues to grow in and show compassion for those who undergo divorce.
Pope Francis certainly seems to be doing his best to lead in the right direction.

Divorced Catholics can already receive communion. It is only those who are remarried civilly (which this lady doesn’t seem to be) who can’t because they are in a state of adultery. Simply divorced Catholics are not in that.

Great post

My Dad walked out on us in 1961…I absolutely understand where you are coming from and how that we can learn, as Catholics, how to witness to those in our kind of pain.

Dad was in school in the 50s. From what he described, there were all of 2 kids of divorced parents in the entire preK-8 (massive) parochial school, and they had no friends because the other kids’ parents told them to stay far away–if their parents were divorced, they must be “bad” kids and a bad influence. Nice, I don’t think. As you say, things have fortunately changed.

You know, everyone in the pews has their own story. A lot of people are going through various trials and tribulations.

Perhaps we should just all smile and be welcoming to each other.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.