I may have posted about this before I can't remember. A friend of mine is dying. He is 94 and to be honest, when I first met him 10 years or so ago, I though to myself 'nice guy but don't get to attached he will be gone soon'. But over the years he slowly became one of the BEST friends imaginable. He even became the wise old man that will be around forever.
Well.... he just moved from the hospital to a nursing home. I suspect there is nothing more the hospital could do for him so they wanted to free up the room for someone else and finally a bed came up in a nursing home.
It is so sad because he has lost most of his physical capacities and lies in bed practially all day long except for the 2 hours he spends in his wheel chair that nurses have to put him in and out of.
The worst part is, he is 100% mentally there. Sure at times he is cranky and he has trouble carrying on a conversation at times because he is tired. But nothing more than simply being human. In fact, he is suffering so, it is amazing he is not more cranky.
He has made a few comments that have led me to believe he just wants God to end his suffering. Ouch......... That hurts to hear him say that. I told him 'I know it is selfish but I can not live without you, I don't want you to go'
And in an odd way, it has made me feel very grateful to be able to experience a man's last moments on this earth before he goes to join our Heavenly Father. I can not judge but I would bet my friend will make it to Heaven. Of course I don't ask him what can I do to help ensure his salvation because I don't want him to think I think he is dying.
It is sad and beautiful in a mixed and weird way. Friday, I found out what my bonus at work would be. So I was happy to know I would have money to go and buy him some posters to decorate his room. I was so excited Friday when I was trying to brainstorm what to buy him. Today, I went to the Christian store and bought some nicde posters and a crucifix for him. The second I signed the visa bill and the purchase was final, a big saddenest came upon me. I realized that I can buy as many posters as I please, that will not extend his life. And I just wanted to cry. The nursing home he is in is a bit of a distance from my place and I will only be able to o see him once a week. I am SO scared he will dye before I have the chance to bring him his posters.
It is truly a test from God and it is so odd that I actually feel honoured to have it