A Hairy Issue


#1

This may seem like a trivial issue, but it is something I think about every day, many times a day. (If this belongs in some other area, feel free to move it.)

I am in my late fifties and have been losing my hair for over ten years. It is a heredity thing with the females in m y family. My own mom is nearly bald and wears a wig. Her mother was the same way, but never wore a wig - just grew what little hair she had sort of long and always permed it. Grandma had a sister who was also very bald by the time she died.

I have two sisters and they have seemed to have avoided inheriting this affliction b/c they each have the most beautiful thick hair you can imagine - which makes me so jealous.

My hair is an unusual shade of auburn-strawberry blonde and a bit wavy. I have the typical redhead coloring, but no freckles. So I was always happy with the way I looked. I am no "knock-out" by any means (even though my DH thinks I am) but I always liked my hair. When I was young, I wore it pretty long. It was always the thing my DH loved and says he still does.

Well, like I said, for about ten years or fifteen, it has gotten thinner and thinner and thinner. I have tried Rogaine and have seen a dermatologist. There is nothing that really will help. Now I spend every day fussing about how it looks, and before I go anywhere I look at my hair from all angles to see that it is styled and "placed strategically", as I put it. I have worn it short for a long time to help maximize what I have. My scalp shows through on the top and sides of my head. I HATE THIS. I look at every female's (and some male's) hair and wish I had theirs. I avoid having a picture taken b/c usually it shows how thin my hair is. I look at magazines and TV at people's hair and wish I could have my long, wavy auburn locks back. I look at old photographs of myself and wish I could reclaim that hair....I have cried over this.

I have looked at buying and wearing a wig. I have ordered one or two but did not like the way they really ended up looking on me and I sent them back.

DH does not care what I do. He says I look great. (I don't. He loves me.)

My questions:
Anyone else have this problem? What do you do about it? Have you worn (or do you currently wear) a wig? If I were to find a wig I like, how do I transition into wearing it? If someone out there wearrs a wig, do you find it comfortable? What do you do about swimming or sleeping or doing things like riding a motorcycle - things that blow around your hair? (or sex?!!? :eek:)

I work at a hospital ----- how would I be able to just "show up" with HAIR some day????

I wish females could just shave their heads the way men do and look so cute.........

HELP. Please.:(


#2

Consider going to an Endocrinologist and treating this from the inside out. Hair loss is often wrapped up in the evil horrors of menopause and hormone changes... and can be due to thyroid issues.
Definitely start digging deeper into other medical treatments... ask to be referred to an Endocrinologist...

All the best... and prayers for you!


#3

Where a head covering like the Blessed Virgin then it wont really matter.


#4

Have you tried looking into the hair transplant therapies? I know two relatively young women at work who have very thinning hair - it is very difficult for women to deal with this. :(

~Liza


#5

First, I’m sorry about your hair loss. :frowning: What I’d suggest if my wife started losing hair on top is that she consider getting the front styled shorter, and keep the length in back. As a long hair loving guy myself, I’d really like this. And don’t forget, there are excellent prostheses today, which clip in and blend beautifully with natural hair. Good luck. I’m not a believer in drug treatments for hair loss, but there ARE many, many drugs whose side effects include harm to follicles for some. :slight_smile: Bob


#6

THANK YOU to all who have replied. I truly appreciate that you took the time to read and answer. (I esp value the male POV!)

To reply to each of you:

Em_in_Fla: I have seen that through. My hormones are not the problem to any extent that can be replaced with medication. And I ave had my thyroid checked several times....always normal.

Advocatus videi: Not possible for me. BUT - I have looked at maybe wearing a turban or other covering like women who have had cancer.....but they made me look like I had cancer! DH hated them.

lizaanne: To get hair transplants, you have to have enough viable plugs of your own hair. Which I do not. And it is prohibitively expensive. I checked out weaves and "The Mens' Hair Club" (they have it for women, too.) It costs about $1,000 initially and the maintenance is nearly that much per month! :eek:

RACJ: Thank you - I appreciate the men's POV! I do have my hair styled short on top and it is a bit longer in the back. It does look very nice and DH loves it. It is just so thin on the top.....I did think about the pieces that clip in. I may give one of them a try. It might be the best thing right now.

I have threatened to shave my head and get it tattooed!!! :eek: Maybe a nice crucifix.....naw, maybe not! :frighten:

And I have joked here at work and said that SOMEDAY I will show up with luxurious hair! And I will be able to tell them where they can buy some just like it!


#7

I’m sorry for the genetic chances of having your hair condition.

I was just thinking that maybe there’s a deeper meaning for all these experience of yours. Maybe this is a way to overcome your envy and accept the suffering (if ever there is) that you are experiencing right now.

I pray that God give you strength to overcome all hardships in relation to your hair condition. I pray that people will start to see you beyond your hair but deep inside of who you are and transcend your looks.


#8

[quote="RazzsMom, post:6, topic:202020"]
THANK YOU to all who have replied. I truly appreciate that you took the time to read and answer. (I esp value the male POV!)

To reply to each of you:

Em_in_Fla: I have seen that through. My hormones are not the problem to any extent that can be replaced with medication. And I ave had my thyroid checked several times....always normal.

Advocatus videi: Not possible for me. BUT - I have looked at maybe wearing a turban or other covering like women who have had cancer.....but they made me look like I had cancer! DH hated them.

lizaanne: To get hair transplants, you have to have enough viable plugs of your own hair. Which I do not. And it is prohibitively expensive. I checked out weaves and "The Mens' Hair Club" (they have it for women, too.) It costs about $1,000 initially and the maintenance is nearly that much per month! :eek:

RACJ: Thank you - I appreciate the men's POV! I do have my hair styled short on top and it is a bit longer in the back. It does look very nice and DH loves it. It is just so thin on the top.....I did think about the pieces that clip in. I may give one of them a try. It might be the best thing right now.

I have threatened to shave my head and get it tattooed!!! :eek: Maybe a nice crucifix.....naw, maybe not! :frighten:

And I have joked here at work and said that SOMEDAY I will show up with luxurious hair! And I will be able to tell them where they can buy some just like it!

[/quote]

Hi Razzsmom,
I have the same problem as you and the answer to my prayers has been invented. I have spent most of my life trying to hide it with hair cuts and those awful spray dyes etc. I am in the menopause now and it is getting worse. I came across this when I was searching the internet for ANYTHING that would help:

youtube.com/watch?v=PWhPrSXzp4I

They are honestly wonderful. I wore mine to Mass on Sunday and everyone was saying how good my hair looked. My hair is not very thick at the back now and it used to be so thick you I couldn't get a brush through it so I also purchased a pony tail wrap which looks so real and is luxurious. I should do a commercial! The colours are very good too.


#9

[quote="Saintlucy, post:8, topic:202020"]
Hi Razzsmom,
I have the same problem as you and the answer to my prayers has been invented. I have spent most of my life trying to hide it with hair cuts and those awful spray dyes etc. I am in the menopause now and it is getting worse. I came across this when I was searching the internet for ANYTHING that would help:

youtube.com/watch?v=PWhPrSXzp4I

They are honestly wonderful. I wore mine to Mass on Sunday and everyone was saying how good my hair looked. My hair is not very thick at the back now and it used to be so thick you I couldn't get a brush through it so I also purchased a pony tail wrap which looks so real and is luxurious. I should do a commercial! The colours are very good too.

[/quote]

I took a peek at that....very interesting! I will check it out a bit more when I get home. THANK YOU! :)


#10

[quote="RazzsMom, post:9, topic:202020"]
I took a peek at that....very interesting! I will check it out a bit more when I get home. THANK YOU! :)

[/quote]

Please let me know how you get on by PM.


#11

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle with hair loss.

My hair thinned out a good bit several years ago due to stress. But the loss of hair only added to my stress! Vitamins helped it to grow back. I used AG/Pro and Biotin.

Well, last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then lost all of my hair due to chemo. Funny thing, is that it was not as big of a deal for me as I thought it would be. Maybe, partly because I went through some hair loss before... although no where near the loss from chemo!

I reached a point where I actually enjoyed being bald. Don't get be wrong, it did take a huge amount of adjustment, but when I accepted it, it felt liberating. No shampooing, no hair drying and definitely no bad hair days!

I've worked with two women who have had significant hair loss that appears to be irreversible. One of them had to do the comb over. The other, in her twenties, just wore it short but her scalp was definitely exposed a lot.

There were some articles, blogs, etc. that I had read that had me concerned that the type of chemo I was on might cause permanent hair loss. I had made up my mind that if only a little bit of my hair grew back, that I would shave it and just wear it shaved.

I know that may sound weird because women AND society so much value hair. Even men don't want to be bald or have thinning hair. But, I have seen LOTS of women who went bald during chemo and I found they actually looked more beautiful without the hair. Why? Because the hair no longer distracted from their beautiful eyes or their beautiful smiles.

Google head scarves, hats, etc. I know you don't want to look like a cancer patient, but I just looked at a recent Avon catalog that advertised a pretty scarf for sale. The model had long hair. The picture reminded me of the days (was it around the 1970's?) when women wore head scarves? Anyway, it was very pretty.

Another thing about when I was bald... it was during winter so I had the opportunity to wear hats that I would have never worn before because it would have only messed up my hair when I'd take the hat off. I never did the wig thing during chemo. It just never felt right.

Anyway, again, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. It can be stressful and frustrating. I guess what I'm trying to say is to try to find some fun way to experiment with hats and scarves, etc. or :eek: :eek: :eek: shaving it off (I know that's drastic...but it's because, personally, I'd be more frustrated with a little amount of hair than no hair at all)


#12

[quote="RazzsMom, post:1, topic:202020"]

My questions:
Anyone else have this problem? What do you do about it? Have you worn (or do you currently wear) a wig? If I were to find a wig I like, how do I transition into wearing it? If someone out there wearrs a wig, do you find it comfortable? What do you do about swimming or sleeping or doing things like riding a motorcycle - things that blow around your hair? (or sex?!!? :eek:)

I work at a hospital ----- how would I be able to just "show up" with HAIR some day????

I wish females could just shave their heads the way men do and look so cute.........

HELP. Please.:(

[/quote]

You don't need hair for sex! :p I had a bald head, a missing breast with a scar, only one boob and my husband and I had no problem whatsoever. :D


#13

my mom has this same problem :(. She decided to go to the wig route. Her doctor told her that it will grow back but that might be due to a different situation than yours. I know it must be frustrating. Hang in there. I’m sure there is something that can be done about it. :slight_smile:


#14

My Mother in Law has alopecia, which means that at 45 years old, she lost all her hair. That is, her eyelashes, her head hair, her eyebrows and all body hair. It was devastating for her. I didn't know her during this time, I met her later, when she had come to terms with her condition. She showed me a magazine article once, in which a girl with the same condition had four or five very different wigs and would wear whichever one she felt like for that day, or she'd just wear a scarf.

My Mother in Law told me she wished she was brave enough to do the same, but instead she tried hard to hide her condition from most people. She has wigs, eyebrow tattoos and fake lashes.

I think if I was faced with that problem, I'd like to embrace it and enjoy it as much as possible (if that's possible), and take this girl's example.


#15

I wonder if some of Toni Brattin’s hair extensions might be an answer. Some are clips or hairbands that blend into your hair, as opposed to a full wig.

beauty.hsn.com/toni-brattins-beauty-secrets_c-bs_a-161_xc.aspx?prev=hp!sf&o=&rid=318


#16

I’m sorry to hear of your hair “challenges.” One of my aunts lost most of her hair as she got older. I remember that she had some hairpiece things to fill in, sort of like these. They were less “wiggy”-looking than a full wig.

A friend of mine has alopecia areata, and once menopause hit, she lost most of her hair. She had problems with this from the time of the birth of her third child. Sometimes she had more hair than others, but she lost her brows and lashes as well as the hair on her head. When her hair was very thin, she would wear wigs (she has to wear them all the time now). It wasn’t a big deal to suddenly show up at work with a wig on; her workplace was small enough that most folks knew of her hair problems anyway. She would use an eye pencil to draw on eyebrows, and she wore brown eyeliner to help mask the lack of lashes. When the family would go camping, or when she was working around the house or yard, she would wear a bandana or scarf instead of a wig. Swimming was not an issue because she didn’t like to be in the water, even before the hair loss started. And no motorcycles, either. She doesn’t sleep in her wigs; we haven’t discussed it, but I would assume that she just sleeps with her head bare.

How do you show up to work in a wig? Boldly, just as if you had just gotten a majorly-different style with your own hair (colored, or cut, or permed, or whatever). Maybe wait until the first day back from a long weekend, and then walk in proudly with your “new 'do.” So you work in a hospital – I’m sure there are other hospital workers who wear wigs, even people in direct patient care. The gal I mentioned above is an RN, and I knew another RN who wore wigs for the same condition. Wigs do get hot when you’re running around the nursing units, but these gals would rather have “hair” than a cool head. :o


#17

[quote="missyfatcat, post:11, topic:202020"]
I'm sorry to hear about your struggle with hair loss.

My hair thinned out a good bit several years ago due to stress. But the loss of hair only added to my stress! Vitamins helped it to grow back. I used AG/Pro and Biotin.

Well, last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then lost all of my hair due to chemo. Funny thing, is that it was not as big of a deal for me as I thought it would be. Maybe, partly because I went through some hair loss before... although no where near the loss from chemo!

I reached a point where I actually enjoyed being bald. Don't get be wrong, it did take a huge amount of adjustment, but when I accepted it, it felt liberating. No shampooing, no hair drying and definitely no bad hair days!

I've worked with two women who have had significant hair loss that appears to be irreversible. One of them had to do the comb over. The other, in her twenties, just wore it short but her scalp was definitely exposed a lot.

There were some articles, blogs, etc. that I had read that had me concerned that the type of chemo I was on might cause permanent hair loss. I had made up my mind that if only a little bit of my hair grew back, that I would shave it and just wear it shaved.

I know that may sound weird because women AND society so much value hair. Even men don't want to be bald or have thinning hair. But, I have seen LOTS of women who went bald during chemo and I found they actually looked more beautiful without the hair. Why? Because the hair no longer distracted from their beautiful eyes or their beautiful smiles.

Google head scarves, hats, etc. I know you don't want to look like a cancer patient, but I just looked at a recent Avon catalog that advertised a pretty scarf for sale. The model had long hair. The picture reminded me of the days (was it around the 1970's?) when women wore head scarves? Anyway, it was very pretty.

Another thing about when I was bald... it was during winter so I had the opportunity to wear hats that I would have never worn before because it would have only messed up my hair when I'd take the hat off. I never did the wig thing during chemo. It just never felt right.

Anyway, again, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. It can be stressful and frustrating. I guess what I'm trying to say is to try to find some fun way to experiment with hats and scarves, etc. or :eek: :eek: :eek: shaving it off (I know that's drastic...but it's because, personally, I'd be more frustrated with a little amount of hair than no hair at all)

[/quote]

I really appreciate your reply. Your suggestions really helped. I am going to begin experimenting with scarves, I think. We used to have a person at my Parish who always wore the most beautiful scarves, wound around and tied up really pretty. The style was very "African" and **gorgeous. ** hairloss.com/home/african-head-wraps-hide-hair-loss.html (I am not African-American...but I love the way it looks.)


#18

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