Hey there everyone!
My names Bethy and i’m a noob to these boards, haha.
I need a bit of help, i’m very confused and don’t know where to turn.
See, I come from a generally non Catholic background. I was baptised, and my parents took me for reconciliation and communion but thats about it. They both believe in God but preferred that once me and my siblings got a bit of a start that we chose our own ways and all. I chose mine, I choose to stay on this path
But because of all this I really don’t have much help when it comes to religion. I really don’t have many Catholic, let alone practising Catholic, friends. I pray every single night and always turn to the Lord for guidance, but don’t really have anyone to turn to regarding religion in the physical sense. And I don’t know too much about religion in the first place. I have a general understanding and belief, but don’t know all the little things. So sorry if I say anything wrong on here, it’s purely ignorance! haha.
So basically I’m finding that as i’m growing up I have a lot more things I need to ask God for guidance with and a lot more moral decisions to make, which often aren’t supported by others around me. I recently dropped out of uni due to a sudden mixture of anxiety, OCD and depression which messed up my life a lot and left me looking for a lot of answers. My faith got me through the worst part of this, but I’m still having to start many things over which I need the help of others to do, and these others again don’t share all my views on life. But that’s okay, with the help of a psychiatrist, a loving family and a few great friends (and God of course!) i’m getting better. Thats not really the hardest part of everything. I’m also finding myself with a lot more peer pressure lately that is really hard to fight off. I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for the majority of this year now; he’s Catholic but isn’t necessarily a strong believer, as in he believes in God but has his doubts about some ways things work. Yet he still completely respects my faith and all decisions I make, and there are no problems there. The thing is everyone around us is putting there noses in and trying to decide whats best for us (and considering they’re non Catholics, I think you can guess what they’re saying … sigh). I’m walking a very fine line between keeping with my faith and trying not to offend or push away friends. Of course, I know whats right and what to choose, but its sometimes really hard I don’t want to lose friendships with people because we can’t see eye to eye on everything.
And now, as religion and peer pressure seem to be really big issues right now (which unfortunately happened while my shrink is on holidays) I’m having a lot of trouble with the anxiety side. Last week I somehow convinced myself into thinking that it was completely up to me to look out for everyones souls and that I had to show them what was right or they’d go to hell and it’d be my fault. It was all the OCD talking, but it got really bad, within about 3 days I had to get sleeping pills to get any rest at night and started having panic attacks over it. So right now i’m in a bit of a messy place, I don’t really know whether stuff like this is my religious side talking or my crazy, feeling guilt for everrrrything side … and I don’t really know who to turn to physically for guidance. I’m terribly sorry for the humungous post but you guys just seemed so friendly and accepting and seemed like people who could I could maybe talk over stuff like this with and get a good, Catholic perspective as opposed to the non Catholic ones i’m surrounded by.
haha, I guess I didn’t really pose any questions here … hmm. I just really needed to tell someone all this who understood the way I believed things.
(And i’m so very sorry if anything i’ve said or may say in the future will conflict with anything anyone else believes, I’m still learning, haha!)
Thank you so very much for reading!