A Little Worried/Excited- Could use some Prayer


#1

Hey All,

For those of you who don’t know me, I’ve been married about a year and a half now. I’m a medical student (in the middle of my first clinical year). My husband and I have been using NFP (symptothermal method, CCL). For the most part we’ve been practicing pretty conservatively (since it really isn’t an ideal time for us to have a child right now: I work 10-14 hr days, my husband works the afternoon/evening shift at work, we barely see each other anyway, and neither of us want to put a child in daycare, although right now we can’t afford for my husband to be the stay at home dad that he wants to be).

Last month, my signs were a bit wonky (my mucous signs always are, but with the new schedule, and odd sleeping, my temps were a bit out of whack), and we thought we were in Phase III, although we knew there was a decent chance that we weren’t yet. We were missing each other, finally got to spend some time together, and … well, I’ll leave the rest to imagination. Yeah, we knew the risks…

Now I think I’m getting to be fairly late. He knows and he’s excited. I’m both excited and terrified, since we BOTH wish we could have children right now, but we’ve really not felt like it was feasable to do so. I tend to be the worrier in the family… I know I should break down and test, but somehow I feel like not knowing is better (although I know that’s kind of ridiculous. I’ve been justifying it by saying I want to wait until the test is more likely to be accurate…).

Anyway, I could use some prayer (and maybe some comforting words?) - I need a lot of help surrendering my fears to God on this one. I know he provides (which is what DH keeps telling me)… at least in my head… but trusting him on this one (especially since I know we’re responsible) is a little hard for me yet.

Thanks!


#2

Prayers for you!

I do understand your fears… as a working mother (in a challenging career) of 3 young children, it’s hard. :o It’s scary, but you really have no idea how far you can be stretched. Sometimes things feel like they are impossible… until you have no choice but to dive in head first. There are some surprising blessings along the way, though - and God can work through you even more easily when you have no choice but to surrender to Him (He can be persuasive that way ;)). I think God allows us to stand up to our greatest fears in order to grow… but it’s certainly not easy.
Daycare is not the end of the world… struggling for a while is not the end of the world… things can change in the matter of months…

hehehe… this has been a pep-talk for myself too! :D… life is constantly changing, and the only thing I’ve learned is that I have no control… :rolleyes:

(((HUGS))) and all the best to you and your husband!!!


#3

:blessyou:

:extrahappy:


#4

Dr. Piano, after contemplating on your situation for a minute, I guess from a couple of divergent viewpoints, you are the bearer of good news which ever way this bit of “family drama” ends. If you’re simply late, well that’s disappointing to “wannabee Daddy,” but kind of “good news” from a career standpoint. But if a little budding family-maker is on its way, it’s some kind of a statement from The Big Guy that He believes you’re ready to be a mom.

So, from this common sense-distorted old man, CONGRATULATIONS!! :slight_smile:

And, of course, a waterfall of prayers are cascading on your behalf… :wink:


#5

I know the feelings going through you right now. I still remember the weekend that DH and I spent laughing about being my period being late and wouldn’t it be funny if we were pregnant. Well that funny little suprise turned 21 about a month ago and I can’t imagine not having her around. We were newlyweds; we were supposed to get to know each other first; I had a job but … :cool: A baby wasn’t in our “plans” at all but so glad those plans didn’t work out! Good luck with whatever happens.

Kris


#6

Very true!!! Its amazing what you find you can do when you have to. And for the love of your child you will be willing to do a lot.

Prayers that it works out either way.


#7

Many blessings and prayers for you both. Your family can be such a light to the world- the medical profession needs more strong Catholic families!

(I PM'ed you, too....)


#8

I’m sure it’s a really scary prospect for you. My husband and I were married in September and pregnant in October, but we were not avoiding or anything, just leaving it in God’s hands. Although we have some minorly stressful things financially (a contract that my husband had to pay off to bring me home as I was working out of state), we didn’t really feel like we had “serious” reasons to avoid. I’m not saying this for any reason but to tell you I can’t fully relate…sometimes I’m worried about the finances and sometimes my husband is, but in the end we know that God will provide, even if it means we drop one car (if we can just sell it!), my husband works his behind off on his side job, and we don’t go out to dinner…or buy new movies…or other “fun” stuff.

And, just a reminder, if you are pregnant…you have 9 months to prepare! ;):smiley: People say it goes fast…but as I’m waiting out my last 6 weeks let me tell ya, not fast enough!!! :stuck_out_tongue:


#9

God’s timing is perfect. Period. We had two children, ages 14 & 12, when I got pregnant at 40. Believe me, I asked myself many times WHY?? We had been open to life for the seven previous years (a conversion from ABC thinking to embracing what the Church teaches), but I didn’t get pregnant even when we were sort of “trying”. The pregnancy was very difficult on so many levels. My age, really rude remarks coming from strangers and friends alike, the reaction of the two older kids…it was just plain hard. But, DS#2 was born and everything fell into place. The biggest sign that it was in God’s time though was that my dad suffered from a stroke when the baby was 5 months old. Then my mom was diagnosed with throat cancer and subsequently passed away. The first two years of my baby’s life were SOOOO hard for me emotionally, but having him love and snuggle me helped SOOOO much. His innocent smile made the most difficult days seem not so bad. We all truly believe that he was God’s gift to us to help us get through those dark days.

Although I have been called “grandma” more times that I’d like at this age, DS#2 has been such an enormous blessing to our family. Wishing you similar peace!!

Kathy


#10

[quote="DrPiano, post:1, topic:201893"]
Hey All,

For those of you who don't know me, I've been married about a year and a half now. I'm a medical student (in the middle of my first clinical year). My husband and I have been using NFP (symptothermal method, CCL). For the most part we've been practicing pretty conservatively (since it really isn't an ideal time for us to have a child right now: I work 10-14 hr days, my husband works the afternoon/evening shift at work, we barely see each other anyway, and neither of us want to put a child in daycare, although right now we can't afford for my husband to be the stay at home dad that he wants to be).

Last month, my signs were a bit wonky (my mucous signs always are, but with the new schedule, and odd sleeping, my temps were a bit out of whack), and we thought we were in Phase III, although we knew there was a decent chance that we weren't yet. We were missing each other, finally got to spend some time together, and ... well, I'll leave the rest to imagination. Yeah, we knew the risks...

Now I think I'm getting to be fairly late. He knows and he's excited. I'm both excited and terrified, since we BOTH wish we could have children right now, but we've really not felt like it was feasable to do so. I tend to be the worrier in the family... I know I should break down and test, but somehow I feel like not knowing is better (although I know that's kind of ridiculous. I've been justifying it by saying I want to wait until the test is more likely to be accurate...).

Anyway, I could use some prayer (and maybe some comforting words?) - I need a lot of help surrendering my fears to God on this one. I know he provides (which is what DH keeps telling me)... at least in my head... but trusting him on this one (especially since I know we're responsible) is a little hard for me yet.

Thanks!

[/quote]

Blessings on you both. I know before the "test" this is all premature right now, but someday it won't be, whether it's tomorrow or some other time. But if you are, you will not only be fine, you will be more than fine. Nearly every year I see an expectant young mom in my class of second year med students, and the witness they provide to the class is priceless. Life is real, and life is good, and much more than just the sum of cardiovascular, respiratory and renal physiology. And you just started clinicals? Do you have any idea about the incredible positive effect you will have on your patients, nurses, doctors? Let the worrier in you take a rest, and let the new mom in you start taking over. You will do great.


#11

Thanks for all your well wishes. I figured I would provide an update. It’s funny the way God works, really. I finally started getting my head around it all and was making progress in getting the head knowledge that God would provide, and maybe he knew better than we did about our situation, to a heart knowledge when my body let me know that I was just late… not pregnant. Funny thing is I’m mixed about that news too :shrug:

It was REALLY helpful to hear everything y’all had to say. I’m pretty sure we’re going to go back to trying to avoid for now, but I think I’m just a little more open now that I have been :slight_smile:

Again, thank you all for your prayers. I can tell you that they were REALLY helpful in helping me get back into the right headspace about all of this :slight_smile:


#12

Hehe…

In case anyone is still subscribed and at all interested, I figured I’d give y’all another update.

We weren’t pregnant then, but as someone mentioned, God’s timing is perfect. We’re 16 weeks pregnant now, ( :dancing: ) and the timing is such that it won’t interfere with my last year of schooling at all. In fact, our due date is basically in the window of the absolute best possible timing for having a child for us in the surrounding 3-4 years. My husband and I couldn’t have planned it better ourselves!

While I always have some worries in the back of my mind (finances, energy, time, etc.) I’ve been able to see how God has worked everything out so far and we’re so excited. I just had to share :wink:


#13

Congratulations !! How blessed you are:-) Enjoy this precious time in your lives.:)


#14

Congratulations!


#15

Wow! God's plans are great, aren't they? Congratulations to your and your husband. :)


#16

Thanks! :) God really does have plans that are way better than I could possibly imagine.


#17

Congratulations!! That is amazing! I actually just found this post today, having never seen if before, since I just joined this site last week, but I have to say that you are so blessed to finally be having a child!!
I actually read all the replies and I wanted to see if you actually were pregnant and then I saw that you were just late and then I saw that you replied almost a year later and that you actually were pregnant now!!
Just me rambling, but congrats anyway!!:)


#18

Congrats!!!:extrahappy:


#19

By the way, folks, (this is her hubby speaking), she could use your prayers. She worked 31 hours last night and this morning/afternoon and is utterly exhausted… and what’s worse she’s got to do the same thing for the next three Thursdays, so prayers would be hugely appreciated… Thanks, all!

(P.S. By “last night” I mean all of yesterday. She worked from 7am on Thurs to 2pm on Fri :()


#20

Hello all,

I don't know if anyone's still subscribed here, but if you're still reading, we'd love your support in prayer. We just got three or four bits of bad news yesterday. Elisa's been having Braxton-Hicks contractions already, which seem to be triggered by fatigue and dehydration mostly. Today and tomorrow she's doing about 3-hours worth of just driving by herself to a girls-only birthday party for my grandma (her 80th), and so far today, she's been drinking lots, but the contractions seem to start when her bladder gets full too, so it's kind of a catch-22. But, there's a lot more...

Yesterday we got three bits of bad news. First, she has gestational diabetes, which is quite discouraging, especially since she had absolutely none of the risk factors for it but got it anyway. Second, she's anemic and so needs to take Iron supplements; we suspected this one, but it's still annoying since she absolutely hates taking pills, significantly more so than most people, and already has to take two pills daily in general, plus the pregnancy-vitamins horse-pill, and now the iron pills (I just bought them this morning, so I don't know how big they are yet...)

The third bit of news is by far the most concerning. Right now Elisa's working what's basically the best rotation she's ever had in Med School: Radiology. It's wonderful. We get to have lunch together every day and very often the docs let her leave early. And yet, as I said above, we're flirting with contractions; e.g. a couple nights ago we think she even had more than four in an hour and so nearly had to go into triage at 2:30am. Next month, she's scheduled to work in the PICU (Pediatric Intensive Care Unit), and yesterday they emailed her saying that she would have to do 7 call shifts - several more than she's ever had to do in a single rotation before. A call shift means she works anywhere from 30-40 hours without leaving the hospital. They expect her to do this every 4 days. We're fairly certain that this would send her into premature labor, which would mean that she would spend the month of August, not in the PICU, but in the NICU (Neonatal ICU), which would also mean that, rather than graduating from Med School next May, we'd probably have to take another leave of absence and be stuck in this holding pattern for yet another year... you know, if they even let her stay in Med School after yet another complication.

Needless to say, we need your prayers. We're both tired, frustrated, and scared, and, to top it all off, because I work nights, we've had a total of about... 6-7 hours of awake together time in the past week, less than one hour per day. We've managed, amid simply eating and driving, to get about... three separate 5-minute cuddles on the sofa. So, while I can remember what my wife looks and sounds like, I've nearly forgotten what it feels like to feel my little boy kick my hand through her tummy. I miss them both terribly. Please pray that we'll be able to convince the PICU docs to give her a string of night-shifts or something instead of the call shifts so that we can avoid giving birth to a baby who's not ready to be born yet and thus set back our entire life by another year and put his life in serious jeopardy.


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