For those of you who don’t know me, I’ve been married about a year and a half now. I’m a medical student (in the middle of my first clinical year). My husband and I have been using NFP (symptothermal method, CCL). For the most part we’ve been practicing pretty conservatively (since it really isn’t an ideal time for us to have a child right now: I work 10-14 hr days, my husband works the afternoon/evening shift at work, we barely see each other anyway, and neither of us want to put a child in daycare, although right now we can’t afford for my husband to be the stay at home dad that he wants to be).
Last month, my signs were a bit wonky (my mucous signs always are, but with the new schedule, and odd sleeping, my temps were a bit out of whack), and we thought we were in Phase III, although we knew there was a decent chance that we weren’t yet. We were missing each other, finally got to spend some time together, and … well, I’ll leave the rest to imagination. Yeah, we knew the risks…
Now I think I’m getting to be fairly late. He knows and he’s excited. I’m both excited and terrified, since we BOTH wish we could have children right now, but we’ve really not felt like it was feasable to do so. I tend to be the worrier in the family… I know I should break down and test, but somehow I feel like not knowing is better (although I know that’s kind of ridiculous. I’ve been justifying it by saying I want to wait until the test is more likely to be accurate…).
Anyway, I could use some prayer (and maybe some comforting words?) - I need a lot of help surrendering my fears to God on this one. I know he provides (which is what DH keeps telling me)… at least in my head… but trusting him on this one (especially since I know we’re responsible) is a little hard for me yet.