Me and my wife were married in the court but are now on our way to getting married in the church. We met with the deacon who stated there are two options we have. We can have a regular ceremony or a mass. Which of these is more common in the catholic church and what all is involved with the mass wedding? Also I haven’t had first communion yet so if I had the mass wedding my wife would receive the host but not me.
If you are inviting family friends, etc., a wedding as part of the Mass is more common. It will include the Liturgy of the Eucharist which a ceremony only would not. It is preferred by most couples because it links the marriage of the husband and wife to the marriage supper of the lamb (the Eucharist). The union between Christ and His Church is what we are to try and emulate in our union to our spouse, so having that reality present at the time of your wedding is a very cool thing.
However, if this is just an intimate ceremony in order to be sacramentally married that will include you, your wife, and only a handful of other witnesses, just the ceremony is more typical.
I you can’t receive Communion it would be better not to highlight that division with a Mass. I would opt for a Liturgy of the Word. I’ve known a couple to just simply approach the priest at the office after Mass and say “Can we do it now?” and he witnessed their exchange of consent then and there.
They had already done all the preparation.
Also I should mention we will be inviting quite a few people so it won’t be just witnesses.
When we did it, we didn’t have a Mass.
My husband isn’t Catholic. Nor is his side of the family. Well, not practicing. My father wasn’t practicing, nor my sister or her family. Our son hadn’t received his first Communion, yet. :shrug:
All in all, the only ones there that would have received would have been me, my mom, and the best man.
Seemed kind of divisive to have Communion.
So, we, on a Sunday evening, met at the church and we were married in the chapel. There were about 20 people in attendance. My FIL took pictures. My parents bought silk flowers for the wedding party. And we all went back to our house for dinner and cake. (A friend purchased a small wedding cake.) I wore my wedding dress from 11 years earlier. My husband and son wore suits.
I have attended a number of weddings where the bride and groom decided to *not *have Communion. Mainly because one or the other couldn’t receive.
I have attended both types of Catholic weddings, of all the weddings I have attended mass was most common. The one I attended that was not a mass was when the groom was not Catholic.Either way is fine. I suppose it all depends on how important the faith is to you and your wife.Do you attend mass regularly? (if not I would recommend you start). If the wedding is not going to be right away I would suggest that you seek instruction to receive you first Holy Communion, then get married within the Mass.Either way it would be extremely beneficial for you to make your first Communion. The graces one receives in the Eucharist, can not be overstated.Marriage as you know is not always easy the grace of the Eucharist certainly is a benefit.
Great responses so far. I cantor at weddings often and what is usually common are nuptial masses when both the bride and groom can receive communion. Ceremonies without the mass are more common when one is not Catholic. Every once in a while I come across a wedding where the bride or the groom is not Catholic, yet they still want a mass. I even cantored a mass where the bride was a protestant, but insisted on having a nuptial mass and even doing the Presentation to The Blessed Mother. (She was seriously considering converting) Or a Catholic couple who only want a ceremony. Both are valid and fine.
Oh… in regards to question with what’s involved in a nuptial mass. Almost everything is the same as you would see in a regular Sunday mass. Most wedding masses do not include the confiteor, or kyrie or Gloria, although some do. I usually see it done when a bishop is presiding, when there are many concelebrants, or a couple has a priest friend or family member doing it and the couple, themselves, are very devout and request that it is done. But this is not common.
The rite of marriage occurs after the homily. There is a nuptial blessing usually before the sign of peace and if the couple desires, there can also be the presentation to the blessed mother which in most of the weddings I’ve cantored takes place after communion.
Some things might be different depending on the diocese and the parish, but this is what I have usually seen in the 100+ parishes I’ve sung in as a cantor for a wedding.
You say you haven’t had your First Communion yet. Can you talk to the deacon and see if you can get your First Communion accelerated so you can receive your First communion at your wedding Mass? That would be so very cool.
thanks for this info however the deacon told me I must have the wedding before I can do RCIA and first communion.
Yes. Getting the marriage issue straightened out will open the way to the other sacraments. By going through RCIA you will also prepare for confirmation so that you will complete all of the sacraments of initiation. Prayers and best wishes as you move forward.