I have been talking with friends and family about things recently.
My brother gave me some good advice: It’s better to be alone with yourself than be alone with someone else. That you shouldn’t change someone, but the relationship changes and grows.
My friends tell me to try to do more so that everything isn’t so overwhelming to me when it happens. Have friends, go out, play games, have fun. They’re trying to not make me overthink things or be so black and white. I’m sick of thinking to the point where everything feels pointless and I have to change that.
My friend told me that she thinks that I’m a little old for her and is weary about the workplace relationship thing. But she likes my company and feels like like I’d be fully committed if I’m in a relationship with someone. He said that’s a good compliment.
My coworker found out last night that it’s okay to have relationships at work, we just can’t be on the same shift. I noticed that she was talking about me with one of her friends. I don’t know, she might be thinking about things.
I found out I’m still not completely over my ex, though. I dreamt about her last night. My friends keep telling me how long it’s been since we’ve talked, but it sometimes feels like it happened yesterday. I keep thinking that if I knew then what I do now, especially in relation to this same advice, maybe it might have been better. But I have to keep moving forward and keep ‘figuring myself out’.
Music has been a good way to work through things. I want to start learning piano and get more into signing. My brother has been wanting me to get a new computer so that I can play games with him.
It’s all about life moving forward and learning as you go, I guess. I have no idea when I’ll know that I have myself figured out enough to pursue anything, though. This is what keeps me stuck.
All things in time.