A pep talk for single guys

I was just reading the following piece by Matt Walsh:

themattwalshblog.com/2014/06/19/dear-single-men-time-man-figure/

“If you’re hanging out with a woman and you feel like you might be into her, tell her. Call her on the phone. Take her out on a date. Say the words: “I’d like to take you out.” No ambiguity. Plan the date yourself. Women want you to be decisive. Lose the whole “so waddaya wanna do tonight?” schtick. Take charge. Pick her up at 7. Pay for the meal. Have a conversation with her. Go mini golfing or something. Go somewhere. Open the door for her. Put your phone away. Open up to her. Share your ideas, your dreams, your fears. Get to know her. Pursue her. Pursue her. Invest yourself in the process, as scary and unsure as it may seem. Take a risk, gentlemen. Go out on a limb for once. Be purposeful. Be desirable. Be a man.”

I often hear “Why do nice guys finish last?” Ask yourself: “Did you even leave the gate?”

Funny!

Xan…
Excellent thread. I hope “los lonely boys” check it out!
There’s a lot of good advice out there…prayers for those nice guys and nice women who are seeking love!
:heart:

Agreed.

In Australia men are fairly forthright and are not slow in taking charge. The momism of America does not seem to have affected us as much.
A true gentleman will always be recognized by the women who respect those values of attention; politeness; and honour necessary to be a good husband, (as well as a good job history; caring nature; reasonable looks; great sense of humour etc etc etc) that a woman looks for in a man.
(My wife’s list seemed endless, even up to and including the need for a tidy boot of my car!!!)
Thankfully, I was a stud muffin; the complete package for which she has been extremely grateful for this last twenty years.)

However the basic advice to man up and show the old fashioned manly virtues seems to be good advice. Given the Anti-feminism social outbreak on FB lately, many women appreciate a real man as an equal and a best friend and lover.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

I think the quoted is also an excellent way for men to help keep a marriage interesting. So the skills involved in “getting the girl” will help you for a lifetime. :thumbsup:

Unfortunately that stuff doesn’t work for a very unattractive man. Nothing does.

We were working together so I was hesitant to throw myself out there and tried to drop hints. Everyone else knew I was interested except her. After a month or two there was a party and I knew she was going so I told her there that I was interested and all the stuff I had been doing to try to get her attention, which was good for a laugh. So I took her on a date and the rest is history.

What is momism?

Well, as a woman, I must say, I think the feminist may have fooled me and caught a fish hook line and sinker.

My first though was ‘Praise the Lord I am a woman, I would hate to take that kind of a risk’ My second thought was ‘I would be really embarrassed if a guy went to that much trouble for me. I would feel guilty since I would feel obliged to date him since how could a woman be so cruel as to reject such a nice man’

But then again, I decided to accept years ago that God’s will is for me to be single. Sad but true

Angie

If you think you are unattractive and you are single, how many women have you asked out in the last 90 days?

That’s not all the first time you talk–it presumably takes place over a period of time as the relationship develops.

And yes, if the woman is interested, she absolutely has to do just as much work and more.

None - why would I?

As some of the dating gurus mention, head over to WalMart and people watch. If you spend an hour in WalMart near the check stand, you’ll see dozens of fat, homely men and their fat homely wives and girlfriends, deeply in love and having a blast together.

Also, think about all the famous men who are undoubtedly popular with women but who are objectively funny looking: Mick Jagger, Steve Tyler, Woody Allen, Benedict Cumberbatch, Kissinger, etc.

Women are actually quite forgiving about looks.

Here’s a really good piece on loneliness and the self-sabotaging behavior that lonely people sometimes engage in from an advice columnist specializing in the socially awkward:

captainawkward.com/2014/07/28/loneliness-link-open-thread/

"I have also seen the self-fulfilling “negging” behavior in action, and I do have a strategy when I meet someone at an event and I say “Hi, nice to meet you” or “Are you enjoying the event?” and they say (true story) “You’re probably just saying that” or (true story) “I’m sure it’s nice but I can never meet people at these things. Not people who want to be my friend.” To be honest, responses like that make klaxons go off in my head, and I DON’T want to be around that person very much, and I DON’T want to be guilted into being friends with a stranger. A mean stranger. But recognizing that sometimes people blurt stuff out when they are feeling really awkward, and knowing that my own semi-public role as an awkward soul makes it more likely that they will blurt that stuff to me, I’ve begun a strategy of redirecting the conversation. “Wow, well, I can’t answer that, having just met you, but…”

“…how did you find out about this event/know the hosts?”
“…what would you rather be doing with your Tuesday night?”
“…read/watch/eat anything good lately?”
Sometimes the answers are (true story) “I know the hosts because they are good people who take pity on people like me,” “Somewhere really quiet, like the morgue” and “No, but let me tell you about all the things that I’ve read that SUCK and all of the details of that suckiness” and then I do bail politely after three unsuccessful attempts, likely added to their list of “fake people who just can’t hang when things get too real,” or whatever. But sometimes I am able to draw the person out about something they are interested in that isn’t their own self-consciousness, and then they relax a bit, and then we have a pretty ok conversation. So if you hear the klaxons, but sense the person is really trying to connect, I humbly offer that as a way to get through the interaction."

yes yes yes

Sometimes people are negative because it feeds them. And it’s easier frankly. No fuss no muss.
“I’ll just be miserable, and then YOU can feel bad, ok?”
Well, thanks for nothing, but really…if you feel that way, stay home.
I get really tired of the "that won’t work, “that never works” “I can’t” “I won’t” mentality.
Great. You’ve got it figured out. Thanks for asking.
Xantippe has offered lots of USEFUL and good advice. Let’s hope people actually try it.
If nothing else, people can add it to their long list of suckiness. :shrug:

Lol, these “man up” prophets can get back to me when they start calling out women as equally as men. Until then I’d rather not get into a marriage with someone like his wife who just seems to have wised up a little on the dating scene but still wears the pants and calls the shots. You see I believe in biblical marriage, Ephesians 5:22-24.

Guy sounds like a democrat voter. No thanks.

  1. Which one?

  2. In what way was the advice faulty?

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