First of all, thank you so much to you and to others who have responded as it’s sure nice for me to be back where I strongly believe I belong.
To answer your question, about 25 or so years ago, I began to look at Jesus in a different way than what was conventional within Christianity. seeing him as a very moral man and teacher but not as a literal “only Son of God”. And, as a scientist, I have always questioned the concept of “miracles”, but that’s not to say or imply they cannot happen. Those of us in science live or die on objectively-derived evidence, so it’s totally natural for us to question things and look for such evidence. However, in this area, that’s pretty hard to find. So, my questioning not only affected my leaving Catholicism, it also led to me increasing questioning much of the basis of Judaism.
But three years ago some things began to happen to me that defied objective evidence and yet I know they occurred and were having a gradually increasing effect on me. This experience was so bizarre that I literally began to question whether I was “losing it” or just falling victim to some sort of desire that I wasn’t even aware of. Needless to say, it was the craziest experience of my entire life, and it shook me up right down to my core. It’s a rather long story, plus I don’t know if anyone has any interest in it, so I’ll not get into it at least for now.
Anyhow, I talked to our priest two weeks ago, explained my background, mentioning that even though it’s my nature is to question, and even though I will always have some doubts I can and am willing to commit to the Church. The basic teachings of Jesus I can and do fully accept, but I will always have some questions in regards to his relationship with God, which the early Church also did btw. He agreed that I was ready and accepted my willingness to commit to the Church, and he didn’t feel that my questioning would prevent me from taking this big and wonderful step.
This is the brief account of what happened. If you or anyone else wants more, please just ask.