My wife and I are in our late 40’s. She has no interest in sex and does not enjoy it.
We normally make “love” once a month, but even then she insists on no foreplay, nothing but penetration. Naturally its over a a minute or two.
When it comes down to it, it occurs to me that I am really using her to masturabate, as she gets no pleasure out it it. It seems that what is supposed to bring us more together (the unitive aspect of sexual intercourse) is actually driving us father apart.
So I have given up initiating sex and I feel I can live the rest of my life this way. Its been about 4 months now.
However, my question is should I pursue sex with her for the “unitive” aspect of intercourse. Am I doing something wrong by pursuing celibacy?
To her credit in the past my wife will sometimes asceed to my initiations of sex, but I do feel resentment after it. She has a bad back, has a stressful life, and is terrified of getting pregnant again (she has had 5 children with 4 caesarians).
On the flip side I feel that she is unwilling to give me 2 minutes a month, so I feel some hostility on her part, which God might use the “unitive” aspect of intercourse to help.
She has not commented on my “lack of interest”.
Thanks in advance for any comments.