A Sadness Sweeping Over


#1

He has shown me His love, he has revealed to me His family in the most Holy Trinity, the Blessed Mother and Queen, the Saints, and all of you. And I want Him so bad, like a spouse longs for their dearly beloved, and I take great joy and delight in obeying His commandments. But the ongoing anguish is so overwhelmingly painful. It had gotten so bad at one time, back in late summer of 2005, that I turned away from Him—almost to the point of denying His existence, but instead convinced myself I was dammed, and stopped attending Mass. It was so depressing, the most depressing time in my life. I missed Him, and nothing I did brought me happiness, nothing! It was like He kept stepping in front of me, every which way I turned, and the loneliness increased until I came back in the fall of 2007, feeling His touch like never before. I was an emotional wreck, and wept nearly everyday when thinking or speaking with Him. Then, the test became so severely difficult my spirit couldn’t breath. i felt attacked by a thousand different entities, often extremely relentless.

I know I’m by far not the only one, and often feel selfish when venting like this. I think about all the great saints, what they have done for Him, what many alive on earth presently do, the intellegence of many, then look at myself, and feel utterly ashamed! Because I can’t do anything it seems, anything except fail. I’m selfish, prideful, lustful and stupid, and God has shown me all of this intensely recently.

I really wish there was something I could do which would please Him, I want to make Him happy, but always ALWAYS fail! I’m not sure if I’ve ever inspired even one single solitary human being for Him, usually, I just stutter, can’t speak properly, slow to wit, and end up sounding ridiculous, even when I think I sounded good. I’m not good, I know that. But I at least wish I could please Him.

And the emotional anguish of mental disorder is getting harder. I mean, every . . . single . . . day at least ten to fifteen to twenty battles, all illogical fight within my mind, all which attempt to take away everything I love, and as God shows me more of His love, the anguish becomes harder. The more I desire Him the more entities from within or outside attack me, tenfold!! I don’t know what to do anymore, I really don’t.

I’m never going to turn away from Him, ever! I cannot, I’ve tasted Him and want no other. It is a real treasure to give yourself completely over to Him, and to trust Him, having past fetishes of D&S I think, ironically, has really inspired that :blush:

Forgive my ramblings brothers and sisters, for that’s all they are, mere ramblings from a slow to wit individual having no guidance. but if any can, please pray for me, that I may please our Lord in at least *some *way, please. I feel like I always let Him down, along with everyone else.


#2

We all are guilty of letting “Him” down. Peace be with you my brother, and my rosary tonight will be for you. Dear Infant of Prague hold this child close to your heart.


#3

I know we all fail Him, but usually many do wonderful things for Him also, out of heart felt devotion, and He remains pleased with them. And I feel, because of such stupidity, lack of understanding, and obsessing over things, along with my sins, that I have never nor ever can do anything pleasing to Him.

Sometimes I just wish I could lay at His feet, and sleep forever, at least knowing I’ll be beside Him, even though He is more pleased in others.

Thanks for the prayer:o


#4

Hi The Catholic
Matt 9:2 Jesus says "have courage my son, your sins are forgiven… As Charles de Foucald says “Let us have hope ! If our Lord absolved the sins of that parlytic which he did by giving him the sanctifying grace, without even being asked by the sick man, how much more will he absolve the sins and give his grave to those who ask”. You got up again after you fell, the Good shepherd not only comes after you he carries you back. His love has no end and his joy and pleasure of one comming to him in humility has no bounds you do not disapoint him. Hope this encourages you may his peace be on you God bless geoff


#5

Yes, it was encouraging, thanks :o


#6

He loves you. Always. He knows what is in your heart and
He loves and cares for you. Please take care of yourself.
I hope you are getting help with the mental disorder you mention.
I am praying for you.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.


#7

Well, it was a pretty good ramble! :stuck_out_tongue:

Actually, the most pleasing thing to our Lord is seeing the weak overcome, with the help of His grace…

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

“God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.” - Mother Theresa

Bonus quote:

“I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.” - Mother Theresa

Praying for you.


#8

Many, many, of the saints felt as you do; totally inadequate and unable to please God.

You do please him, every time you pick yourself up off the floor and try again. Don’t ever stop trying!

I too have had such feelings and attacks. Besides mass and the sacraments, I have found that deep, fervent prayer has been my biggest weapon against such things. Now, I am able to dismiss most such attacks by merely telling the evil one to “take a hike!”

I will pray for you, as will others who read your cry for help,

but you must also pray for yourself! Make sure you are always in a state of grace. Attend mass and receive communion as often as you can. Confess often, even when there is nothing to confess. The graces received will benefit you. Develop a deep spiritual relationship with our Lord by praying to Him through his most Holy and Blessed Mother. Pray the rosary every day! Pray fervently! If you can, find a quiet place where you can be alone in your thoughts with Our Holy Mother, and with her Son. And remember, when you are attacked or tempted by the evil one or his minions, do not engage them in thought or mental argument, as this only weakens you and strengthens them. Just ignore them or tell them to “take a hike," or pray to youself this prayer, “In the name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, leave me.”

May God’s blessing be upon you.


#9

Brother, do not let sadness overcome you, you are very well and good in God, not because we are perfect that God love us, but it’s by His grace! We all have not easy times, sometimes I do not know myself what is the matter with me. But perhaps it is because sometimes not feel good ;even like sleepy- you know before when I feel sleepy at evening but still not go to sleep and still study I will getting capricious-that’s others easy can tell, but now I am getting more quiet every evening even when I am sleepy, but you must sleep well 8 hours, be in good health.
Brother, be happy, we are in Christ. do not think too much, I see from your words how it will troubles you. this is I say to you : no matter what only expect good things" this is easy as 123. “expect good things”. think good things!
and say this to yourself: “I only expect good things”. Why not? in Bible say: “this world and all its desires will pass away, and only my words keep forever.” and for me I keep this in mind to live everyday life: " Be innocent like dove. Be wise like serpent," though we can not be perfect until He comes, but we will learn to be holy just like Him, I forgot which chapter I quote above two, because I am sleepy now, but here are some words read with you .

" Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

" A glad heart makes a cheerful
countenance,
but by sorrow of heart the spirit
is broken."
Proverbs 15:13

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid."
John: 14 :27

"Anxiety weighs down the human
heart,
but a good word cheers it up."
Proverbs 12:25

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:7

"Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you."
Philippians 4:8-9

:shrug::shrug::slight_smile:


#10

Dear The Catholic,

Perhaps reading about the dark night and what to do during that time will be helpful to you in this trial. Here’s what Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange recommends. Even if what you’re experiencing is not a dark night, I think his advice is helpful for any difficult time.

Ch 5 : Conduct to be Observed in the Night of the Senses

. . .in this aridity and powerlessness one must not become discouraged or abandon prayer as if it were useless. On the contrary, it becomes much more fruitful if the soul perseveres in humility, abnegation, and trust in God.

Conduct to Be Observed during the Purification of the Spirit

GENEROUS ACCEPTANCE: The first rule of direction is that these souls should accept this trial generously for as long a time as, according to the good pleasure of God, it may last, and they should live in abandonment to the divine will. Moreover, as a general rule, the more generously they accept this purification, the quicker it will end, since the effect for which God wills it, will be more promptly accomplished.

FAITH IN THE MYSTERY OF THE CROSS: In the trial of which we are speaking, the soul must, therefore firmly believe in what God has told of the great efficacy of the purifying cross in the life of the Church and in its own personal spiritual life. That this faith may be practical, it must tell itself that the cross is necessary and good for it.

FIRM HOPE AND CONSTANT PRAYER: During this painful purification, the soul should also. . .hope against all human hope, asking unceasingly for the help of God.

THE LOVE OF CONFORMITY AND OF SUBMISSION TO GOD’S GOOD PLEASURE: Lastly, in this state of trial, the soul should, as St. Francis de Sales well shows, be penetrated with Christ’s words: “My meat is to do the will of Him that sent Me.” In spiritual tribulations and afflictions, the soul should nourish itself with the will of God so that self-love may die definitively in it, that the soul may be truly stripped of self-love, and that the reign of the divine will may be established in the depths of its will. The soul will obtain this grace if it accepts, for love of God, to do and suffer all that He wishes, as obedience, circumstances, and the interior light of the Holy Ghost may indicate.


#11

“I see that it is enough to realize one’s nothingness, and give oneself wholly, like a child, into the arms of the good God.”

Wise words from St Therese…:hug3:


#12

I can sometimes be very … blunt. Please know that I write this with love and knowing that I don’t KNOW you.

There is NOTHING we can DO for God except to do our best to do His will. All we can do is to try our best to follow His commands, witness where we are called to and serve Him as the servants and children we are. There is nothing else we can do or that HE wishes us to do.

When inadequecy or sadness reaches you, before you pray the rosary or any other devotional you may use, close your eyes and picture the cross. Jesus died for you. He died for you as you were, as you are and as you will grow to be. He did not die for your perfection, He died for your imperfection so that you may acheive perfection with Him in paradise. But He is not dead. He is risen as you, if you remain faithful, will also be risen. Live the life of a joyus penitent. Joyus in the knowledge that God loves you, penitent for your sins and failings.

Every good christian faces the dark night and the trial. Every good christian comes up short. That does mean we should quit, we should recognize the dark night for what it is and lift our eyes up to the light and face of Jesus and KNOW that He is God and ask Him to pull us up and set our feet on a rock, to establish our goings.

And remember when you feel most alone, on the road to calvery Jesus had help carrying His cross. If Jesus had help carrying HIS cross, what makes us think we have to carry ours alone? Lean on the family of Christ. Many hands make light work. Lean on God, he can carry the load.**


#13

i know this too. Holy Week our church venerates a Cross. this Cross is left out. i went to the church when no one was there. i sat on the floor for a long time. i think the same. to live at His feet. i would be very happy. there is a Psalm we sang at Mass. about thirsting for God. googling…O God, you are my God-- for you I long! For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts, Like a land parched, lifeless, and without water.

i think we know this. :slight_smile: i think God knows this about us.


#14

There is.

And that’s it. That’s what you do to please Him. Or so a wonderful, wonderful priest used to tell me.


#15

#16

All will be well, you are so good. I can assure you that ones - brothers sisters who are in Christ are all so good! Believe one who confesses Christ cannot be unhappy.
Pray and remain true and keep faith; and for the rest, trust to God.
Think just for one reason we should be happy-that we live and healthy and in God.

"You shall be happy,
and it shall be well with you."
Psalm 128:2


#17

hug

you know, I think just your desire to be with God is pleasing to Him. This is what He wants from us. As for putting that into our actions, that’s where we rely on His grace.

I pray that God would give you peace in Him…

I think from reading your post, you love Him very much. Don’t despair, but rely on His mercy.

It is difficult to rely on God’s mercy when we feel like we’re failing… but that’s when we should. We can say to God, ‘You are my hope though I am nothing but misery’. The more we trust Him, the more He will be pleased with our little efforts.

God bless.


#18

Thank you dear sister :slight_smile:


#19

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