A teenage girl's questions


#1

Hello everyone!

I’m new here, so maybe my thread isn’t supposed to be in this forum, I don’t know… if it isn’t supposed to be, I’m sorry. :frowning:

I don’t know exactly why I’m posting here… I probably just need support. :o Basically, I’m a brand new catholic, it’s been around a year now, and I’m pretty happy except for a few things…

First, my friends and family don’t practice. Most of them are agnostic. I really feel lonely sometimes, because I can’t express my faith with them. Saying things like “I’m going to mass tomorrow morning” still makes me shy, because sometimes their reaction is strange. One of my best friends once said to me: “Why do you go to mass? It’s so old school!” I didn’t know what to say to her, how to explain it!

Second, I’m a seventeen-year-old, and seventeen-year-old girls often start to think about a relationship. I am not ready at all to have a family, in fact I even doubt that I could handle having a boyfriend, but my dream, one day, is to have a large family and a faithful husband. My question is: is it possible to have a faithful husband? Cheating on the wife runs in my family, and I’ve been terribly hurt by this.:frowning: Are there really good guys out there? Guys who want a big family and who want to romance the same girl forever? Does it exist?

Third, I live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, and here people don’t practice religion anymore since the Quiet Revolution during the 1960’s. The thing is, I really want to marry a Catholic (If I’m called to the married life, that is, but I think I am.) How do I deal with this? Do I simply put the matters in God’s hands?

I’m ashamed of saying this, but these days I wonder if God forgot me. I don’t feel him when I pray. :frowning:

Thank you for reading this. I’m sorry it was so long! I have so much on my mind, and it really helped me to write it in a Catholic forum.

God bless you all!! :angel1:


#2

I was reading your post, and felt compelled to answer. There most certainly are good guys out there, you just have to know where to find them. When I comes to prayer, I sometimes feel alone when I talk with God, but if you just keep praying, praying for faith, I assure you it will come. Also, someone suggested that I try to pray to St. Gemma, (because she was really devout and loved prayer) and I must say that it is helping. I encourage you to look up her story.

Also, you are in my prayers!

Josh


#3

There must be some solid youth groups up around there…maybe not at the parish you attend but in the city (or in America). You’ll find like-minded teens and it will definatly help you feel not so lonley.


#4

Sweetie, from one teenage Catholic girl to another, there are WONDERFUL Catholic guys out there. Pray to God. If He wants you to be in a relationship with one, He’ll figure it out. If it seems like God’s not answering your prayers, pray even harder. Let God know how much you want Him in your life, and you know, He’ll come around

As for your family, make sure they know how important religion is to you. For the person who said Mass is old school, I would have come up with a witty remark. something like. “Mass may be old school, but God is timeless!”

-Jeanne


#5

Actually, my religion teacher told me he would take me for a visit to a youth group that he knows when he’s going to come back from his vacation. It will be around the 18th. I’m looking forward to it, but at the same time, I’m kind of scared. Don’t know why. :confused:


#6

Thank you so much Jeanne! Your answer gave me a little hope that maybe it’s possible that I find a good guy someday! :slight_smile:
I wish I could have a friend like you :o


#7

Hey fellow sister in Christ. I must say I want to be the kind of guy that is faithful to his wife so don’t sweat bullets okay? God’s here for you and he loves you.

As for not feeling God’s presence…oh boy I could go all day about this. Just know that that’s a sign of of Jesus’ favour. Show Him how much you need Him and thirst for Him. After all He’s glorified when you feel like you need Him for everything. You are so very precious to Dad and never forget that HE’LL NEVER ABANDON YOU!!! Why would He bring you all this way to desert you? I also pray to the saints when I’m feeling really lonely and then I don’t anymore. :smiley: Trust God with all your heart!!!

Also just keep on living your faith and never force it down people’s throats ( I learned that the hard way :o and I’m not trying to judge you or condemn you it’s just very common to do that) They’ll one day start thinking about how Christ means to you and maybe they’ll be able to give religion a shot. I too share that shyness feeling when I talk about Jesus or anything Christian based with my sis or bro. I haven’t come up with a solution yet but I hope you do.

I hope I was able to help you. I gave it all I got.

P.S. I’ve been to Montreal and Quebec it’s pretty nice there and clean too.


#8

I sort of feel the same, but I’m a guy. 1st, never doubt God’s love for you. He put you on this Earth for a reason, so you do have a purpose in life. 2nd, you’ll find a guy, just as I’ll find girl(maybe). God doesn’t call us to lead empty lives, pray about it, and you’ll learn more about yourself and how God wants you to live. 3rd, be proud that you have a sense of faith within you. Many others in the world are without Him in thier hearts, and fill themselves with empty treasures. Be the shining light He calls you to be.


#9

Trust in God. He wants to take care of you. Let Him. Entrust everything to Him.

And the darkness you are going through - where you feel abandoned by God - is a share in Jesus’ agony in the garden at night. Comfort Jesus and He will comfort you. Comfort Him by making sacrifices for the conversion of sinners; the best sacrifice you can make is to offer Jesus your will. You can do this everyday, by His grace.


#10

Awww…thanks.

But really. I was in a relationship with a horrible person. He had no faith in God, and he wanted me to do some sinful things with him. I’m just told him “bye bye” and dumped him. I was better off alone. A little word of advice for you, though. When dating, it’s best to love each other as friends before you take things further. Go through a period where you two are friends to see if you can respect each other. That’s important to know that he will be pure wtih you. I’m in a relationship like that right now

-Jeanne


#11

Hello Sweet Child,

I am a fellow Canadian who is very proud of you. I can’t imagine being a young person these days. When I was your age it was still “wrong” to have sex prior to marriage and it was definately still “wrong” to live with someone without being married. I think it was much easier to meet someone who still had those values and beliefs. The pressure to do otherwise must be very intense for young people today.
I am so disappointed that you have been hurt by the behavior of adults in your life who have cheated on their spouses. Remember. Hurting people hurt people. There is probably much pain in their lives that you would have no way of seeing or understanding. There is a current movie out right now called Fireproof. I would encourage you to watch this film. It is wonderful.
I think it is still very possible to find a faithful man. Before you begin dating, decide what your values are. Do you want to wait until you are married to have sex? Is that important to you? If so, why? It is important to understand why so you can make an informed decision. When you meet someone who you are attracted to, become friends first. That’s what dating is for. While you are becoming friends talk openly about your values and the decisions that you have made for yourself. Meet in public places to begin with. Years ago, young people were not alone at the beginning of their relationships. There was a very good reason for that.
If a young man that you are interested in stops calling you, you will understand what kind of character he has. On the other hand, if he shows respect right from the get go, that is a telling indication of how he will treat you once you begin to fall in love with one another.
I wouldn’t get too hung up on waiting for a Catholic. If a young man loves you, he will love all things about you and will want to take part in the things that are important to you. A person can become a Catholic. It is a wonderful journey that you can make with one another. God Bless. Take care. Chochy


#12

Bah, whether or not you put it in the right forum doesn’t matter. We’ll answer your questions in a jiffy, anyway. Welcome to CAF!

I’m going to take this apart paragraph-by-paragraph. My posts are notoriously pedantic, so you’ll have to excuse my long response. I like to be thorough.

  1. Agnosticism is self-defeating. It typically claims that “Nothing can be known about X.” However, if you grant this to be true, then something CAN be known about X - namely, the fact that nothing can be known. It’s a contradiction.:smiley: (Simple and funny, no?)

  2. Oh, and disregard their reactions. You can do one of two things. You can attempt to explain your beliefs and feelings (gradually, over a long period of time, rather than in one outburst), or you can just ignore the reactions/laugh them off. I tend to go with the second option.

  3. If your relationship doesn’t come soon, don’t sweat it. I’ve had opportunities, but I haven’t really acted on them. There’s too much work in life. And I’m 21 now! (Apparently, that’s supposed to be “old.”) Try looking for a strong guy - not necessarily a physically strong man (though that would be nice). Look for someone who is willing to press through hardship and occasionally sacrifice his own interests. Look for a rational thinker. Whenever I consider a relationship, I say to myself “Think about the kids.” It keeps me from flirting with certain undesirables.

  4. I was never sure what it meant to “put the matter into God’s hands.” You certainly can’t do that with everything. You can’t change how the universe operates. “Leaving your hunger pangs in God’s hands”, for instance, will probably lead to starvation. Many things require effort on our part. Perhaps the relationship thing just isn’t worth pursuing right now. You might want to “put it on the back-burner” for now.

  5. How do you know God has forgotten you? Is He supposed to do certain actions? If so, which actions, and how do you know that? What kind of “feeling” are you supposed to get when you pray, and how do you know that? Are you sure the feeling isn’t some chemical reaction in your body or some deceitful demon’s work? While these questions are philosophically probing, they present a point: Without proper reasoning, there is very little we can say about the nature of God. Don’t doubt Him yet.

Anyway, that’s all the food for thought I have to offer. Eat up! Let me know if you have any questions. (Comments or complaints are welcome, too!)

  • KrazyKaiju

#13

Hello everyone!

I’m new here, so maybe my thread isn’t supposed to be in this forum, I don’t know… if it isn’t supposed to be, I’m sorry.

I don’t know exactly why I’m posting here… I probably just need support. Basically, I’m a brand new catholic, it’s been around a year now, and I’m pretty happy except for a few things…

First, my friends and family don’t practice. Most of them are agnostic. I really feel lonely sometimes, because I can’t express my faith with them. Saying things like “I’m going to mass tomorrow morning” still makes me shy, because sometimes their reaction is strange. One of my best friends once said to me: “Why do you go to mass? It’s so old school!” I didn’t know what to say to her, how to explain it!

Second, I’m a seventeen-year-old, and seventeen-year-old girls often start to think about a relationship. I am not ready at all to have a family, in fact I even doubt that I could handle having a boyfriend, but my dream, one day, is to have a large family and a faithful husband. My question is: is it possible to have a faithful husband? Cheating on the wife runs in my family, and I’ve been terribly hurt by this. Are there really good guys out there? Guys who want a big family and who want to romance the same girl forever? Does it exist?

Third, I live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, and here people don’t practice religion anymore since the Quiet Revolution during the 1960’s. The thing is, I really want to marry a Catholic (If I’m called to the married life, that is, but I think I am.) How do I deal with this? Do I simply put the matters in God’s hands?

I’m ashamed of saying this, but these days I wonder if God forgot me. I don’t feel him when I pray.

Thank you for reading this. I’m sorry it was so long! I have so much on my mind, and it really helped me to write it in a Catholic forum.

God bless you all!!

Wow, amazingly I am in the same position. My father was raised as a Catholic but nowadays he doesn’t care at all and is basically an agnostic. My mother is religious in spirit, but she is definately not Catholic and never goes to any sort of church anyway, much less has a specific denomination. I have two siblings–one, my twin sister, is somewhat religious, but she doesn’t take it that seriously. My little brother would like to have his first communion, etc, but he’s young and it doesn’t really occupy his thoughts too much.
So, sorry for sharing my story. :slight_smile: In reply to your questions, definately put this in God’s hands. Pary and say the rosary frequently. Don’t be embarrassed (EVER) about going to Mass even if people ridicule you for it. Like a previous posted said, God is timeless, no matter how “old school” Mass is. With him, you can get through anything.
Replying to your questions about marriage, pray, pray, pray. You will find someone perfect for you, Catholic and all, eventually, no matter how impossible it seems now. There are many great men out there who will love you and never think of being unfaithful. It must be hard to imagine such a person what with an agnostic family, but believe me, it will happen.
God bless you! :slight_smile:


#14

As a teenage guy living in Ontario, I used to wonder if there are any really nice girls out there. I must say that high school left me thinking that there weren’t. There was no one “Catholic” enough for me. But my views have changed ever since I started university. I joined some Christian clubs on campus, and there is no shortage of good, faithful, people. You just have to find the right group :). University clubs are a great way to make friends. In fact 4 of my friends are already engaged, and they met each other in these clubs!

Somewhere there’s someone who dreams of your smile,
And finds in your presence that life is worth while.
So when you are lonely, remember it’s true:
Somebody, somewhere is thinking of you.

God bless,

Chris


#15

I know exactly what you’re saying! As a teenage Catholic guy, its really tough, the high school i went to in NY had no practicing Catholic girls in it so i was kind of isolating in that respect, and even amongst my own guy friends who are either not catholic or dont practice, its hard to hang out with them sometimes because they go off and do typical teenage stuff like getting drunk/drugs or whatever. Im trying to get into a nice Catholic university for next year so hopefully I can meet some more practicing catholics there in clubs/groups etc. But I also find that some people are too catholic. you can never be too holy i know, but like, Im catholic but im also interested in alot of secular stuff, whether its music or whatever and i find that alot of really really deovut catholics ive met really only listen to Christian artists and will only watch certain movies etc. finding that medium is pretty hard.


#16

Yes, there are good Catholic guys out there to date. Of course, there are free Catholic dating services out there as well as paid ones but I think you have to be 18 to use them. You could always check them out and find out. :slight_smile:

Also, I will say a prayer or two for you to find the man that God wants you to be with.

God Bless,
Holly :slight_smile:


#17

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