A Transgender man married to a woman in the Catholic Church?


I have a rather particular question that I would like some advice on.

When I was in college, I went to class with a person who was “transgender.” This individual was born female but made medical transitions and took hormones to appear male. (I am not 100% sure of this, as I never spoke to this person, but in our class it was known that this was the case. And old pictures of this person found online very clearly indicates that this person was very clearly female.) This person was also dating a woman. Sometime after I left college, I saw online that this person got “married” to their then girlfriend. When I looked at their pictures, I was dumbfounded. I saw what appeared to be a few wedding pictures in a Catholic Church that I go to! And I’m planning to get married at that same church!

The priest there is VERY traditional and I am extremely doubtful that he was aware of this person’s true identity as a woman. Because on the outside, this person appears male. This person was also recently baptized as a Catholic, so it would be very easy for them to put their desired sex on the paperwork as “male” as opposed to “female”.

I am now wondering if I should contact the priest that married them, and make him aware of the situation. Knowing the people and their group of friends and family, I’m likely the only one who would come forward. But I don’t know what to do…do I meet with the priest and discuss this? (I really don’t want to do that…) or compose an email to him?? Or do I mind my own business?

I need some advice please!


You have said that you aren’t even 100% certain. I’d suggest just minding your own business.


I’m like 99% sure. I just never talked to this person before. It was common knowledge in class that this person was transgender. And old pics of this person before hormones were verrrrry feminine comepared to recent pics.


I would assume that the Church simply didn’t know that the person was actually a female.


Right, and I need advice…do I contact the priest to make him aware? I’d probably compose an email.


I would think you need proof that this person is transgender in order to make a case.

Anyways, if true, then there is no sacramental marriage, even if it says otherwise on paper.


You could. Although if they didn’t know they might not believe you.

Marriages have been annulled because of mistaken gender. I assume this is what should happen?


But what business is it of yours?


I just don’t want to be morally responsible if I’m sitting here on this information that I believe to be true and not bring it to the attention of clergy.


I feel as though it is my moral responsibility. If I know that this is true, I feel as though I should make it known to the priest that married them. I know he would not have married them had he known that one of them was not the sex they claimed to be.


Do it then. It couldn’t hurt to contact the parish.


If both are biologically (born) the same gender, there is no sacramental marriage. If there was deception involved in the marriage documents, that’s also a grave matter.


And what would clergy do? Inform the couple that their marriage is not considered to be a sacrament in the Catholic Church? It is doubtful that the couple didn’t already know the Church’s policy on marriage - one would assume such is covered in pre-marriage prep. And assuming the couple knew and went ahead, they are hardly likely to care.


Would you be doing this it you thought (99% sure) that one of the spouses was divorced and not annulled ?


Should I bring it to the attention of the priest? I just don’t want to keep quiet and then be held morally responsible for sitting on this. Or is it not on me?


I would be very sensitive in how you alert the priest on this matter, but I think it should be brought up so long as you have very legitimate grounds for doing so and not just gossip.


Do you know the priest? Could you mention it to him, then follow up with an email if he seems interested or concerned (or dumbfounded)?


No it’s not gossip and I don’t want “out” this person. I want the HOLY sacrament to remain that way. And this deception is sacralige. I don’t want to sit idly by and hold my tongue.


I would be interested in a priest’s perspective on this. I don’t know if these things are reviewed for or what documentation is provided.


Sacraments are a visible sign of an invisible reality.

If there’s no invisible reality, you can go through the motions— but that’s not going to make an invisible reality exist.

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