**** This is a long vent and I know it already soundsselfish but please bear with me because I am devastated by what happen I can't make myself continue contact with my mother at this point.
MY STORY: My mother broke her hip. She is a young 66 but was not recovering well enough to go to rehab so she ended up in a nursing home. While in that NH she accused a woman of neglecting her and said it was racially motivated. She refused to let me tell the administrator. She refused to eat. She refused to get up to go to the bathroom. She never said please or thank you to anyone who did something for her. She was extremely nasty and all she wanted was to be doped up. This was 4 weeks after surgery, and the staff was trying to get she off the morphine and other narcotics. The staff was very kind and good to her. I had many nights when I didn't sleep worrying about her.. I brought her her favorite foods and bought her all new PJs, slippers, undies etc an thing I could think of to make her comfortable. We were clueless about what was going on with her.
About 2 weeks into nursing home, I discovered she was vomiting. I told her to please tell the doctor but she refused. Mom then got my estranged sister involved and sister filed a complaint with the city about the NH.
The NH doctor met with me the following day(he was very upset) and asked me what was going on with my mother. Did I have any information to help them find out why she wasn't doing well. I mentioned the vomiting(I was forbidden to do so by my mother). He told me that vomiting was not normal.(I thought it might have been from the drugs.) He asked about my moms mental health, I said she had problems in the past with severe depression and suicide attempts. I apologized for my sister and told him my sister was crazy and that what she did was way out of line. I then went back to moms room to find her vomiting and my sister who is a nurse *disposing of the vomit and washing the tray. I told her that she should not have done this because the nurse or doctor probably would want to see the vomit. I was really annoyed my sister did that. Anyway the doc rushed in and sent her to hospital immediately.
Sister started to take moms wallet and I asked for it back and said i would take care of her personal items as I had been doing for 4 weeks now. So she cursed and threw the wallet at me and all the cards and items went flying all over the room and the aides who witnessed my sisters tyraid helped me pick it all up. But guess what was missing from the wallet...mom's credit card and bank card. My sister took them..
At the hospital, they found a thyroid tumor and removed it. Now she is looking very bad.
More pain drugs are necessary. Still she refuses to eat but claims she is getting better.
She begins to see visitors and starts to tell them that my brother, his children, my husband and myself were writing her off. That my brother(who lives with her) was throwing away her personal items. He was actually trying to clear out some of the junk (he packed it in containers)and clean so that her wheel chair would fit in the small house.
She told me I was trying to control her and that I was not allowed to talk to the doctors about her needs. When her friend called, she told her friend that she had asked me to call this frien on her behalf but I didn't do it. She never asked me to and it made me look very bad for not calling her friend. It was a blatant lie and she did it to cover her own neglect at letting her friend know where she was But that is how she does things. She lies alot to make herself look good at the expense of others. **To be continued....*