[quote="Jenny35, post:1, topic:329693"]
I'm considering religious life, or maybe it's considering me. Not sure which way it works exactly except that it is a persistent thought that will not go away.
There is a community I've been quite interested in, but after reading some of the vocation director's blog, I have some concerns.
Now I realize we are all human, including nuns! so please do not take this as me being harsh or judgmental.
The vocation director has been in the monastery for 18 years. Last years Lenten reflection talked about how she gave up cream and sugar in her coffee. But while traveling during Lent, for a period of three days, she allowed herself to have cream and sugar as well as to sample various flavored creams with the excuse that she deserved it due to her traveling hardships.
Is it a red flag that a vocation director of 18 years can't give up cream and sugar for Lent?
I'm so far from holy, please do not see this as judgmental. But if I do enter a religious community, it seems as though that community should challenge me to be better. Am I being too harsh?
Sometimes the most effective way of growing in holiness in religious life is by dealing with one's own judgments of those one lives with! I know you aren't being judgmental in your post but you will find many instances of things like this in every community! This is the meat of the challenge to become holier!
Religious life in community is not a place where you find people who will hold you to a high standard of living by their very example at all times - and it shouldn't be so. That doesn't build holiness. What does build holiness is letting the humanness of each sister (all her faults, annoying habits, rule bending, sins, sorrows...) rub against the humanness of you (all your faults, annoying habits, rule bending, sins, sorrows...) and finding a way to live in charity and grace in that space.
The sisters in any community you might join will fail to live up to your expectations. That is a for sure given fact! You will fail to live up to their expectations. It isn't wrong to have expectations (it's good and quite normal!) but its good to know from the beginning that they won't be met and that is when you have an opportunity to practice charity, gentleness, patience, meekness, obedience, poverty, prudence, and temperance - that's when you have the opportunity for growth in holiness. This is the challenge in religious life that you are looking for... it's just not in the form you expected it to be in.
I hope this helped put a new perspective on your question. Prayers as you discern!