Just wanted to post here because I'm in need of some major advice and I don't know what to do..
I'm 20 years old and I live with my parents. I'm studying at uni (college) at the moment. Note: where I live (Australia) it's very normal for young people to live with their family when they're studying as, unless they live in a country town, there's no need for them to move to another city to study.
I guess that I should explain what my family life is like before I go into anymore details. I am currently a practicing Catholic, and I find it very difficult to talk to my family about my faith. I have never prayed with my family, nor have I engaged in any kind of casual discussion with them about being Catholic. My Mum does not practice any religion, my Dad goes to mass on Sundays, but I don't go with him and my younger brother (once baptised) is agnostic/atheist.I made the decision to get baptised when I was nine years old, as I didn't have the privilege of being brought up in the faith.
My parents consistently put me down, saying things like "you're a failure" ect. Because of this, I have always had low-self esteem, and I don't believe in my own self- worth & God-given dignity.
To them, the most important thing in the world is to get a degree and have some kind of high-paying job. All they want for me in the world is to get a degree, and find a job that pays very well. Actually, that's putting it lightly, they just about treat this idea as an idol, as something that's more important as God..
Their marriage is not the best, they fight all the time and my Dad also disrespects my Mum by putting her down as well. When my Mum says something at the dinner table, he openly criticises her in a negative way and my brother joins in. So I have often been attracted to the religious life, as they haven't shown me what a real Christian marriage is like, and I used to think that there was no chance for me to have a holy and God centered marriage. (But I don't think that way anymore.I have seem friend's Catholic marriages and they are just so beautiful..)
So basically, to get to the nitty-gritty of it, I don't help out at home at all. After dinner, I don't help my parents with the washing up, or anything like that. I distance myself away from my family, and choose to retreat to my room and avoid family outings/meals out ect. I choose to push them away and not speak to them at all. I don't know why it's like this, perhaps because they have hurt me in the past?! I admit that this is quite sinful of me to do this,as I know that it's my duty to respect them (being one of the commandments) & help out around the house but it's currently one of my habitual sins, I just can't seem to stop doing this! frustration
So yesterday, they gave me an ultimatum, to either help out around the house more or move out. If I move out, I can't pay to continue studies and all the money I currently have is AU$100. I don't have a job right now too. I don't know if my parents are actually going to follow through with this, as in the past they have said things like this before and haven't followed it through. I can't see if it's God's will for me to move out, or if it's better for me to stay at home and accept that this is part of my cross to bear. I may have the chance to move out and live with a group of girls who are part of the Emmanuel Community, and I would absolutely love to live with them, but I haven't asked them yet..In the past, I have been advised by a priest to move out as I mentioned to him once in confession that I live in a family where I'm the only practicing Catholic. If I move out, I would have to work in retail or something similar, but I still really want to get a degree and study at uni . But unlike my parents, I believe that there's nothing more important than knowing God and living a life that's pleasing to Him.
So I hope that I haven't gone into too much detail for you. If you need to know anything else, just let me know. So please, tell me what you think the best thing for me to do right now is.