Abortion and cancer


#1

Not sure this is the right forum, but I’ll start here…
My husband was married before. When his wife was 2 months pregnant she was diagnosed with leukemia, and it was in advanced stages.
They were told: if you try to carry the baby both will die because the cancer is too far advanced and they need to begin treatment immediately, she cannot wait 7 more months. #2- if we begin treatment without abortion, the baby will die from the meds and wife will likely hemmorhage from the miscarriage and bleed to death because of low platelets, etc. #3- abort the baby and begin treatment.
My husband was not Catholic at the time, and his wife was not, either. They chose option 3. Obviously, his wife died 3 1/2 years later (so the abortion was back in 1989).
My husband is now a Catholic and heavily involved in pro-life volunteerism. I asked him last night, just out of curiousity, if he thought his/their decision would have/should have been different if he “knew what he knows now”, or if he and I faced the same kind of situation.
Well, little did I know the upset I was causing by asking! He said he thought that this was a reasonable exception to the “rule” put in place by men! (he didn’t mean the gender males, but it sounded more like a protestant accusation of a “man-made” doctrine)
I tried to point out the difference between active intent to kill the baby, and the unfortunate side effect of pursuing treatment, but to no avail. He said if the church expected him to let his wife and child die (which he was told was a guarantee) vs. choosing one when the other was going to die anyway, he would leave the church:eek:
Now, I don’t really know if he would leave the church now, if the situation were with me, but it scared me! God allows certain things to happen, right? If He allowed his wife and child to be in this situation then He has the right to tell us what is the right decision, as hard as it may be. And I am NOT underestimating the difficulty they faced, and I certainly do not “blame” them. They were not Catholic (and even if they were, I was not in their shoes) and I cannot hold them to the Catholic ideal.
What do you all think?


#2

I really like Blessed (or is she a saint) Gianna Molla. I’ve always thought that if we could only see the fruits of our obedience in the tough decisions, perhaps it wouldn’t be so tough.
Here we are, fifty years or so after Gianna’s death, and her actions speak so loudly to many of us who are young mothers. If your husband and his wife only knew of the good that could come of their selfless act, but then, that is for God.
I don’t mean to be disrespectful, (I’m not saying they were selfish, and I hope to never find myself in such a situation!) just wishing we could all see as God sees.


#3

Honestly, I think that is one of those situations where the stress and emotional upheaval is so great, that perhaps the people involved are relieved of some of their accountability. Not that their actions are excused, but their culpability is lessened by the insane awfulness of what they faced and the fact that they likely were not dealing with any of it completely rationally.

I am surprised by your comment that you didn’t realize the hurt you would cause by bringing this up. Don’t you see that his pro-life activism is most likely a self-imposed penance for the guilt he feels, the regret at not being able to handle it better? It’s probably a way of honoring his wife and baby as well. Of course it’s painful for him, and he may have viewed your question as a reproach.


#4

If he hasn’t attended post-abortion healing he needs to. I am sure that even though he does pro-life activities he has not healed from the abortion.

Project Rachel and Rachel’s Vineyard are two nationally recognized programs.

Until he heals, he will have reactions like this. A lot of that is probably guilt talking and grief as well.


#5

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