Ok, I will have to apologize for two reasons. First, this post is very long. Second, this post is all about me and a situation I am in.
About a month ago I posted the below thread in the Prayer forum asking for prayers because of an extremely unfair Human Resources situation where I work that has to do with excuses being made to withold official credentials for the work I do everyday: forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=288702
I had blamed my former boss for this situation, since she’s in HR. I had been really praying about the situation, and prayed a rosary about 2 weeks ago specifically for my current boss to see for himself the way I was being treated, and how unfair it was. I prayed that God would reveal this to him because I felt I could not compromise my integrity by speaking negatively about anyone at work. I was very confident God would hear this prayer because my boss is very open about being a Christian. He is a Protestant, and my impression of him is that he is a godly, sincere person.
Immediately, the very next day a woman I work with who also is a Protestant Christian, and who is actually a pastor, held this meeting where I very clearly felt unfairly attacked and wrongly accused on a project we were working on. I was very upset by this. I am still upset by this, and my reason for being upset is that I thought I had good working relationships with everyone.
So, my boss told me the very specific things I was being accused of, and I knew they were untrue so I documented them. I then had a meeting with her and another person I work with. Before today, I also thought I had a very good working relationship with him.
I went to them and said, “I care about our working relationship, so I want to show you that I did not do what you said.” I was very surprised that the man said, “I don’t care about your proof, it doesn’t matter”, and all of the sudden the issues became something entirely different. Vague accusations that were not supported by specific examples. Then an accusation that I had looked at someone the wrong way, basically. I explained that my reaction had been misinterpreted. I was shocked when this woman refused to believe my explanation. Basically, she said she knew what I was thinking when I looked at this person this way because the other person thought so, too. Of course neither consulted me, so it was just discussions behind my back.
The more I am accused, the more I try to defend myself. The more I feel hostility from people, the more I try to cooperate and help solve problems. I am honestly at a sincere loss when it comes to the accusations. I go back and look at what happened in black and white and it isn’t there, but when I point that out the issue gets changed.
My cooperativeness and desire to have good relationships with them seems to make things worse, not better. It’s as if they have decided I am the scapegoat for everything, they get to gossip about me and wrongly accuse me, and if I try to smile and befriend them and please them, then it enrages them.
But these aren’t bad people. I know they aren’t bad people. I like them. I can’t understand why they are doing this. I think- what is it about me that I can’t figure out what I am doing wrong so I can fix it?
There are only two explanations for this, and I don’t know which it is, or if it is both. The first is that it is just a sincere misunderstanding and personality conflict, because I am an Introvert and a Thinker and the woman is the opposite. The second is that what is going on is the bad treatment I got in one office has followed me to the new office because of gossip. I have somehow been labelled and branded as “whatever I do it’s wrong”.
Please, if you have a spare moment, pray for me, especially that I figure out what God’s will is in my profession, or if you have any insight, I am feeling very beaten down and defeated.