Actions towards parents

When a person is an adult and on their own am I correct in believing this is the way they should think about their parents. Btw I didn’t know if this should be put here, in apologetics, social justice, or spirituality. Whew. Anyway…

Even if a person has not been treated right by their parents say their was an alcohol problem or such. Maybe an abuse problem. They still should cherish their parents because if it wasn’t for them, the vessels for life to be introduced we wouldn’t be here. People, not being perfect, all have their hangups. Parents too. And if it wasn’t for them as I say, we would not be given a chance to serve man, God, and others lower and higher than ourselves. :shrug:

Is that pretty much correct? It’s a good attitude anyway. Happiness is not outside of us. In things or people. All suffering is self induced. By wrong thinking, blindness, the fall, and so on.


Any opinions?

I would say its pretty hard to cherish someone if you have spent the whole of your childhood being abused (mentally or physically or sexually) by that person. God requires us to forgive but that does not mean we have to invite them for Sunday dinner or trust them or even have anything to do with such a person again.

I guess for the most I would perhaps agree with you. but thankfully I have not been in that situation. But someone of some level of perhaps sainthood obviously could do it.


I actually have a lot of experience with this. I have wounds from both my parents. My father, almost 7 years ago, basically disowned me and my wife and kids. I’ve tried many attempts to heal the relationship but he still chooses to ignore me. I’ve accepted that I will no longer have a relationship with him and that I have to work to heal the wounds that he caused.

Not all suffering is self-induced. I didn’t ask my dad to abuse me physically and emotionally, and I didn’t ask my mom to leave my brother and I when we were very young. However, as an adult I have the responsibilty of healing these wounds, with or without my parents, so that they don’t continue to poison my life and my family. I still love and respect both my parents because they are children of God and only He can judge them. But I’ve also accepted that I’ll never have relationship with my dad and that he’s too dangerous of a person to have in my life and in my family’s life. I hope this helps.

God Bless you and yours,


It does. It helps me understand these kinds of situations. When I say all suffering is self induced I mean it’s the way you are looking at situations that is causing your suffering. That’s blindness and basically human being being, well human. The fall, or the multiple falls we’ve experience has blinded us to the reality of things. Or you would know his thoughts and emotions and understand him. I also believe and you can take this how you want, before we come here to this life we agree to certain things happening in situations with others for all’s benefit. In all the terrible things that have happened over time, there has never once ever been a victim. That would be a universe “out of control”. With no controller.


a very love-filled post.

Looking at others thorugh the eyes of love… even if they have hurt us… can be a challenge, but I also think it is doable.

With parents it is also still more special, the relationship is very special.

It does not mean we have to put ourselve sinto dangerous situations. If we know we must avoid somebody because he/she is dangerous… or if it would be dangerous to for example let some relative near our children… I think it is ok, probably even necessary, to protect ourselves and others.
That does not mean we must hate that person.
We can still pray ofr that person.
If we can’t bring ourselves to love that person, we can pray to God to help us overcome anger, hate… to come to forgiveness, somehow, someway.

Everything is possible with God.

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