Active Homosexual Brother question


Hello, I’m a catholic mother of 5 little ones. Ages 7 to 18 month old. With another one on the way.

My 33 year old brother has anounce openly that he is " engaged" to this other man. He is even wearing a ring.

I can’t help but to love my brother and my heart aches deeply every day since, knowing that this will not bring him any kind of true happiness.

He lives in our same town and he used to come over every so often. My Kids love their uncle, but I can’t have them exposed to that culture and way of life at all.
What to do?? Should I ask him not to come over any more?? I will certainly ask him not to bring his "partner " . But what about himself?

Thank you


That is a difficult one! Christ asks us to love him above our own families and our own lives so if he is an occasion of sin or a danger to your family’s spiritual health then it might be in your best interest to not see him as often or at all depending on your circumstances. I would say pray for him and say a rosary for the intention of his conversion and chastity. Offer up the suffering of distance for his conversion and receive communion for the same. May God bless you and Our Lady protect and comfort you!


Good start, just talk to him and make him understand that you are responsible for all of those little souls of yours.


I remember when I was quite young, my uncle would always come to visit along with his friend. I suppose the adults knew the nature of their relationship, but as a child I just knew his friend as a nice man who was always at family occasions. They never did anything to give me the impression they were anything more than friends.

Now that was a long time ago and times have changed. It may be that your brother wouldn’t be willing to disguise the nature of his relationship. But if he is aware of your wanting to protect your children, perhaps he and his partner can still be a part of their lives. A good conversation with him might be in order


I don’t think this is really a problem. Be kind to your brother, let him visit the kids. Keep the kids contact with the brother limited. Be supportive of him, despite the error of his ways. Forbear, until he repents, then forgive.


Also maybe look at the Courage/EnCourage website, they have good resources for family members



I will probably get clobbered again for my response, but don’t cut off the relationship with your brother and his partner. Treat them as you would any couple. I’ve never had any male/female couple or male/male or female/female couple start making out in my presence. Married/unmarried/engaged/living together. It is beyond me why some folks think this is going to happen.


I think there is an obligation someplace along the way to educate your brother that his actions are gravely sinful. We’re talking about eternal salvation here, and that is most important, perhaps all that is important.

I do know some gays among my former acquaintances and they pretty much stay to themselves, as it turns out. While my response seems to be lacking in charity, it is most charitable to tell him what is important for his salvation. “sin no more.”

There seems to be a lot of “acceptance” among Catholics but “acceptance” of what? I think you have some obligation to shield your children from such influences until they are spiritually formed in conscience and mature enough to deal with the situation.

It seems your dilemma is that he is forcing what he believes on your family, and there’s nothing to justify that.


That is an issue to me. Treating them as any other couple to me would imply approving of the relationship, that is not something I want to do. I would say the same for a divorced person without an annulment who is dating or remarried.

If they were a hetrosexual fornicating couple, or a couple who have civilly married when one is Catholic, but would have no barriers to marrying in the Church, I may see the point as that relationship may be put right by marrying in the Church. I would not them sleep over though.


God bless you, and I don’t want to clobber you!

My family members didn’t “make out” but they did say things in front of my kids like complain about snoring, or stealing the blankets at night. Then there was the occasional hug or kiss. My kids figured out quickly they were living together.

The original poster has to discern if her children are ready to learn about homosexuality and if this situation will make them think it’s okay. Maybe yes, maybe no.


What is his behavior like when he is around the children? If they can avoid flaunting their ‘marriage/romance’ in around the children then I wouldn’t object to them coming around.


My mother’s brother is gay.

He’s been in a relationship since I was a girl in the 1970’s.

He was very circumspect the whole time, and I honestly thought they were roommates until my twenties.


Offer up prayer and penance for your brother’s conversion. I think you can continue seeing him unless you think he is an occasion to sin.


My adult son is gay and lives with his partner. They stayed with me for several months - both knowing that I do not condone their lifestyle. . I could have sent them away, but that would not have changed their relationship and they were able to see me living my faith and I was able to show love to my son, as well as his partner. I don’t know if I would have reacted differently if I had young children at home. I only know I prayed about it and discussed the situation with my Priest. It seemed to be the loving and charitable thing to do.


I believe gay folks already know how religions feel about their actions. The bottom line is that we can pray for them, but ultimately it is up to the Holy Spirit to convict and change them.


What depends on who you voted for?


Is he willing and able to spend time with your family and kids without bringing up his gayness? If so then I think you can continue to have him over.


Except you can’t do this. Because they’re not “any couple”. It’s not the same as a male female couple because that relationship isn’t sinful by it’s nature.


They are a couple in the sense they are living together and in a “relationship.” How would you treat a male/female, unmarried, but living together? That is my point.

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