Actively Miscarrying


#1

I found out on Tuesday that I am miscarrying for the third time. I am numb from the emotional pain of it all and so stressed out about miscarrying at home naturally or having a d&c. After my first miscarriage I had a d&c and almost bled to death afterwards, so naturally I really don't want to go through that again. I've also struggled with the very very very slight possibility that the d&c is what killed the baby, which is actually a pretty irrational thought based on the evidence of the u/s. However the idea that I may have killed my baby and didn't trust in God for a miracle still haunts me today.

I would have been 11 weeks today, does anyone have an experience of miscarrying naturally at home? I know this is probably a dumb question but do you do it over the toilet? That's the impression I've gotten but I'm scared of the baby going down the pipe before I can retrieve him/her!


#2

It's been many years since I experienced miscarriages, but I want to let you know that you are in my prayers. I'm sure you'll get good information from others here.

God bless.


#3

I am so very sorry for your loss, know that my prayers are with you deeply.

I hope you call your doctor for his/her advice. When I miscarried at 11 1/2 weeks a few years ago, I had to go in for an ultrasound so they could ensure all of the baby's tissue and the placenta had come out properly and that my uterus wasn't damaged or that there wasn't internal bleeding. It was scary; I didn't know that much "tissue" would come out, and I, too, was afraid that my little one's body would go into the toilet.

Please call your ob and know you are being prayed for right now.


#4

Elsport and Sarah, I will keep you both in my prayers. May our Lady of Guadalupe, the patron saint of the unborn, interceed for you.


#5

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice, but wanted to let you know that my prayers are with you as well.


#6

Dear one,

Thank you for coming here. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I lost four and each one was heartbreaking beyond beleif.

If you are thinking of miscarrying at home, you might expect severe cramps. My last miscarriage I had severe cramps and bleeding and then "passed" the baby. (Yes it was in the bathroom and yes I was able to retrieve the remains from the toilet. It may sound gross to some to reach in the toilet but I could not let my beautiful blessing be flushed down like waste) My beautiful child was unrecognizable as a person...he/she appeared as tissue but it was my beautiful baby just the same.

May I encourage you to get some holy water? I asked my priest about Baptism for a miscarried child. He asked me if there was any sign of life and I said "no." He then told me to pour water and to say the words "If you are able to be Baptised, then I Baptise you in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit."

Cemeterys in my area will accept the remains of miscarried children. I encourage you to contact ones in your area. Having your child interred in sacred ground can be a blessing and a comfort and often at no cost.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. The pain is great. Jesus has called you to the cross with him. I know you do not want this cross, Jesus did not want his cross either. Please know through your pain that Jesus loves you so very much. Turn to Mary too, she is your mother and knows your pain.

Please be assured of my prayers, hope this helps a little bit anyway. Please take care as best as you can.


#7

I am very sorry for your loss. I am writing to let you know I am praying for you and for your husband.

Sincerely,

Maria1212


#8

I’m so sorry. I will remember you in my prayers.


#9

I’m so sorry you are going through this painful time. My experience was very similar to Monicad’s, and I was also able to retrieve the remains. I pray that God will send his angels to comfort and minister to you as you wait. My heart goes out to you dear sister.


#10

Thank you all for your prayers.


#11

I'm so sorry for this experience you are going through. I miscarried three times in rapid succession, at home, but at about 8 weeks. At the time I miscarried the third time I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer, so, hysterectomy at that time. My husband and I are childless, and now in our fifties, but understand we have three little ones in heaven. We were not able to adopt after my hysterectomy ("too old,") and have busied ourselves in the lives of our nephew and nieces.

I retrieved the remains each time from absorbent material, and brought them in when I went to the hospital. I was told that the D & C was necessary to ensure that no tissue remained that could cause serious and potential life-threatening infection, so please, contact your obstetrician and follow your doctor's instructions. The first two times I was assured by the obstetrician that the D & C had been performed when the little one was already dead and had been passed, and it was only pieces of what would have been become placenta and uterine lining that were removed by the D & C. My older sister, who is a nurse, tells me that by the time a woman has been bleeding enough to be actively miscarrying, the baby is already dead because the blood supply to the baby has been disrupted. Yes, the cramping was like severe menstrual cramps.

It is my earnest hope and prayer that God brings you through this sorrowful time and blesses you richly.


#12

Here is a webpage that someone posted, I believe it was on this forum. I know this is a difficult and delicate subject but this website had such helpful information and even small caskets for a baby’s remains. These are people who have gone through the pain of a miscarriage and who could not find any suitable container for their baby’s remains. So they made them for others who need them too.

heavensgain.com/id44.html

I will add your family to my prayers.


#13

May I add my prayers for you too.


#14

[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:12, topic:240066"]
Here is a webpage that someone posted, I believe it was on this forum. I know this is a difficult and delicate subject but this website had such helpful information and even small caskets for a baby's remains. These are people who have gone through the pain of a miscarriage and who could not find any suitable container for their baby's remains. So they made them for others who need them too.

heavensgain.com/id44.html

I will add your family to my prayers.

[/quote]

Thank you so much for the link. I hadn't seen this and it looks really helpful.


#15

I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I've never been through anything like what you are experiencing, but have been through many trials, physical illness, and loss. I found myself feeling fearful and at times feeling the need for prayer and the strength to handle what lies before me. I found the Prayer for Fortitude comforting during these times and will keep you in my prayers.


#16

I am so sorry for your loss. :hug1:

I’ve had 4 natural miscarriages at home. 3 were fairly early and while I searched for a baby, I never found one. My last miscarriage was at 8 weeks (baby measured 6) and it was very different. I had cramps/bleeding until what I’d describe as labor (basically just harder cramps, heavy bleeding) which lasted for an hour or so. I passed my baby first, had heavy bleeding, and then passed the placenta which scared me a little as it was the size of my hand. The bleeding slowed down after that, and I felt better.

At 11 weeks, you will definitely be able to see your baby and may want to conditionally baptise your baby “If you can be baptised, I baptise you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.” I then wrapped my baby in a piece of white cloth (have it ready). I chose to bury my baby in our garden and we planted a rose bush for each of the babies we have lost.

I know digging in a toilet just doesn’t seem right, so consider stretching plastic wrap across the toilet (under the seat). This way you will keep your baby from falling into the toilet.

I know this may be TMI for some, but there aren’t a lot of resources for women going through a miscarriage. I hope this helps someone.

Prayers,

KG


#17

Kevinsgirl, thank you for your story. You’re right there really isn’t much information out there on what to do. While I’d be about 11 weeks at this point the u/s doctor thought the baby had been dead for a while. I really hope that I’m able to find the baby, but I’m not sure how likely that is. Did you bury everything that came out with your losses that you couldn’t find a baby?


#18

Hi

I'm very sorry to hear your news, I recently had my third miscarriage too, at home naturally but it was only six weeks along so too early to identify a baby when I was miscarrying. I can sympathise, it's a distressing feeling when you're miscarrying to think that you are passing your baby. And not something that most husbands will want to know about in detail either - there may be exceptions - but for me it was a very hard time, thinking that I was literally losing my baby on my own in the bathroom. What would we do without God at times like these?

Anyway, sorry I can't be of more help, I just wanted to offer sympathy and a little health advice - unless there is a medical reason preventing you from doing so, I would highly recommend taking iron supplements. Discuss it with your doc if necessary, but I got a touch of anaemia after the last miscarriage and had no energy to do anything at all, iron tablets worked wonders.

God bless.


#19

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