Addicted to masturbation?


#1

I have been struggling with this sin for a long time. It started off as me not knowing it was bad, until about a year ago (I’ve had this addiction for about 3 years) and in all sincerity try to stop. I don’t want to hurt my relationship with God, but knowing I already have because it was a mortal sin, I don’t feel loved. I confessed to it last week, and honestly, it was one of the happiest times of my life, I wasn’t angry, upset, just happy, and felt totally at peace. However, I broke that chain of peace through my own weaknesses. I have committed it 3 times sinse last Saturday, and feel ashamed. I feel to ashamed to pray, knowing I have affected my relationship with God in such a way. I pray for protection against it, but I always just feel weak. I don’t even know if when I’m in my state of mortal sin like I am now, if God is even listening to my prayers. I feel like a shell of my old self, and before all of this happened my heart felt pure, I could actually feel peace in it. Now, I just feel dirty, impure, ungodly, like my soul is being held under a huge object. My brothers and sisters of the faith, how did you break this awful sin?


#2

Pray to the Blessed Mother Mary every day and night. Ask her to help you have self-control. Also, going to confession will always help free your soul from this feeling of being oppressed by sin. I can only imagine that it will be hard to break an addiction that you have had for so long,so don’t be too hard on yourself. That being said, don’t use that as an excuse to keep sinning. The Blessed Mother’s intercession is crucial, her prayers are so powerful. This is why praying the rosary will work wonders. God loves you very much and He wants you to be close to Him. However, sin pushes us further from Him. You will be in my prayers.


#3

Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength & fortitude to overcome your temptations.


#4

I used to be addicted to this sin and still some times feel the temptation.

The best advise I can give you is this:

  1. the shame is a good thing. Once shame started to settle in after I would give into temptation, it helped me realize that Masturbating wasn’t worth it. Because I would not feel better afterward. Taking the pleasure away will help.

  2. As soon as you commit the sin, go to Confession. If you live in an area where either your parish or other parishes have confession during the week, don’t wait until Saturday. God to Confession the very next day. A few reasons why: (1) you will be forgiven 2) you will receive Graces from the Sacrament (3) Confession really does help you to stop repeating sin.

  3. whenever you feel the urge to masturbate, start praying three Hail Marys and one Our Father. Keep repeating until the temptation leaves. This really works. You can even end it with a Fatima Prayer if you like.

If you have any questions, please feel free to PM me.

God Bless.


#5

Hi Tom,

I am so sorry for your struggles.

God really loves you. Please don’t think that He doesn’t. Remember, Jesus died for our sins.

We all fall down, Tom. The important thing though, is to keep picking ourselves up again, and to keep trying to do our best.

I struggle with certain sins too, all of the time. They are more like faults of mine that I have to deal with, so you are not alone. :console:

God does hear your prayers.

Don’t be afraid or feel ashamed, dear one. I would not want anything to keep you away from God.

Keep going to confession when you sin.

Prayers said for you.

God bless you.


#6

Jesus is on your side with you, against the sin, He is not against you.

Here is something from the Bible from Jesus about how many times He wants you to forgive yourself and He wants to forgive you, even in just one day alone,…

Jesus was teaching and the disciples asked, How often should we forgive the one who sins against us…

Quote from the net.,…

Question: “What did Jesus mean when He said that we should forgive others seventy times seven?”

Answer: Jesus said we are to forgive others “seventy times seven” in response to Peter’s question, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" (Matthew 18:21-22).
. When Jesus responded that forgiveness should be offered four hundred and ninety times, , it must have stunned the disciples who were listening…

By saying we are to forgive those who sin against us seventy times seven, Jesus was not limiting forgiveness to 490 times, a number that is, for all practical purposes, beyond counting. Christians with forgiving hearts not only do not limit the number of times they forgive; they continue to forgive with as much grace the thousandth time as they do the first time. Christians are only capable of this type of forgiving spirit because the Spirit of God lives within us, and it is He who provides the ability to offer forgiveness over and over, just as God forgives us over and over.

So, if Jesus taught the disciples to forgive those who sinned against them 490 times in one day, the same guy, doing the same thing,…HOW MUCH MORE AND MORE OFTEN WILL HE WANT TO FORGIVE YOU ,…EVEN 490 TIMES IN ONE DAY,…THE SAME SIN, AGAIN AND AGAIN,…

THIS IS THE UNLIMITED PATIENCE AND LOVE OF GOD FOR US,…AND HE WANTS US TO TREAT OURSELVES AS KINDLY AS WE WOULD SOMEONE ELSE, WE MUST FORGIVE OURSELVES 490 TIMES A DAY FOR THE SAME SIN, AGAIN AND AGAIN, AND ALSO NOT BE DOWN ON OURSELVES BUT GO TO HIM, AND RECEIVE HIS FORGIVENESS 490 TIMES IN ONE DAY EVEN FOR THE SAME SIN.

This doesn’t mean sin is good, because it never is. However Jesus is not against us, He is with us on our side, against the sin. Sin is never helpful or beneficial nor does it do good to anyone, this is the MAIN reason Jesus is against it, BECAUSE IT HURTS US, and God loves us and wants far better than sin for us.

See what I mean, the70 x 7 is taught from JEsus’ own lips to us personally,…

Don’t hate yourself or get mad at you, esp. if its addiction and practiced for a long time,…
love yourself and feel God’s love for you, He loves you the same when you do or don’t do the sin, His love doesn’t depend on you sinning or not,…
He wants to help you do the best you can and He is patient and kind and understanding,…
so be the same to yourself,…

Many people struggle against sin, you are not alone, the world is full of sexually suggestive
things, so it is difficult ,…very difficult, esp. for men.
Try to start with something, ie. even looking away from suggestive things, …

Change your position right away, if you think you are going to do it…ie. esp. if you are alone,
ie. very diffic. to ‘masturb.’ in public, so if you feel you are going to, push yourself into another room where people are, etc. so that you can’t,…do thingns like that, and remember
God is very very very very patient,…remember seventy times seven even in one day,…
try, take steps, make changes, it is not impossible,…

just like exercising, or lifting weights,…a little more and a little more,…
training the body,…slowly changing over time,…
ie running, you ‘feel’ like you have used all your energy, and then, you get a second wind,…and find you can.

plus Jesus said He doesn’t want it to be ‘our power’ that breaks thse habits, but His, ask Him for power, ask the H. SP to empower you,…ask for ideas from Him on how to…

and be very very very patient with yourself, Your are LOVED, sinning or not.
He provided forgiveness for you, because He understands us human beings…

I am pretty sure that every human being struggles with the same as you are talking about. Some people have learned how to win against doing that. You can too.


#7

It feels comforting that I’m not the only person struggling with this addiction. I’ve really noticed recently that it became an addiction when one day I masturbated 12 times in one day. I knew I had to stop.

Recently for the past four months I’ve been struggling to keep myself chaste since I decided to stop and for the past four months I’ve been going to confession at least four times. When the temptation is strong or I gave in sometimes I thought to myself I might not be chaste again.

Then I tried different strategies and so far the best is to avoid looking at any sexually suggestive pictures or skipping any suggestive scenes in TV shows or movies. So far it works. But I have to reinforce that strategy for it to work in the long term. I suggest you do the same as well. Like for example stop eating any ice cream for one week and once you got through after a week of not masturbating you can eat some at the end of the week.

And most importantly PRAY. Pray to God and ask the intercession of Mary whenever those thoughts come out. In addition think of something disgusting or scary or horrible or extremely sad to put off those temptations and urges. It worked for me.


#8

I feel so sorry for you that you feel so sexually repressed because of your faith. I wouldn’t worry about it, mate. Certainly don’t feel ashamed or try and repress your sexuality. The natural urges we have are just that - natural. And it’s not just us humans, plenty of animals masturbate as well. There’s plenty of health benefits too, do a bit of research on the internet and you’ll find out.


#9

Keep getting back up OP. There’s light at the end of the tunnel away from this sin, believe it.

Male sharks forcibly copulate, or “rape” as we would say it…that’s just natural too, right? I mean animals do it too so it must be okay, right?

Also strong internet shrink with the whole “sexually repressed”. Masturbation is not sex, it is self-abuse that closes one in a sexual fantasy world.


#10

We also have a support group here on CAF. You have to ask to join though:

forums.catholic.com/group.php?groupid=369

I’ve made translations of two excellent talks given by a Brazilian priest on the subject of addiction to impurity. Hearing what he said and the plan he proposed was a game changer for me. If you join you see them in the two threads below, or I can PM them to you.

forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=757467
forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=873805


#11

I wasn’t aware sharks did that too, I know dolphins certainly do. Although I’m interested, do you think animals are morally corrupt for doing this? Isn’t it just their nature? How God created them? Or do they have free will too and are being tested just like us?

Anyway, it was only part of my point - that masturbation isn’t ‘unnatural’. To see whether it’s as bad as you say it is you have to look at whether it hurts anyone, infringes on their rights, etc. I don’t think it does. Otherwise there’d be laws against it (just don’t do it in public, I guess).


#12

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured many trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.
-The Imitation of Christ, Book 1, Chapter 13


#13

You have been given much good advice. In addition, I might add that you try to discern the triggers in your life which lead you toward the sin of masturbation. Then, do everything in your power to avoid those people, places and things which trigger you. Pray CONSTANTLY. You can never pray too much. I find that praying the “Hail Mary” repeatedly will go a long way to moving these thoughts out of my mind.

I, too, have struggled with this in the past. SA.org helped me greatly.


#14

An excellent argument. Let’s see someone attempt to knock it down.

Best wishes,
Padster


#15

The problem is not because masturbation is a sin. The problem is that the world we live in is incredibly saturated by sex and encouraging sexual fantasies to be fulfilled.

Yes, sex and sexuality are natural in themselves and are part of life. However people these days talk about it like it’s the most important thing in life. Modern culture today is reducing human beings into sexual beings whose only purpose in life is to derive pleasure from intercourse and self-eroticism. It strips the dignity of the person and reduces in into its basic needs. You know there’s more to us human beings than just “exploring their sexuality” right? There’s more to the potential of human beings than just submission to natural urges.

And clearly the OP is suffering as I was when I was addicted to masturbation. I forgot in my previous post that I’ve already decided to indefinitely stop the habit because it was interfering with my schoolwork, my relationships with people, my usual leisure time, my worship to God. I submitted to my natural urges and look what it led me - loss of self-control with my life and total ruin. And it’s because this world demands that I submit to my natural urges.

And regardless of whether you think masturbation is “natural” or not there HAS to be a point in your life when you HAVE TO STOP.

OP continue to pray. Don’t listen to the clamor and demands of the material world. Listen to God.

Off-topic but as important as the issue: I’m sick of people sexualizing everything these days, don’t you agree?


#16

They are not morally corrupt because first of all human beings are different from the rest of the animals in the animal Kingdom in that we humans have a conscience, rationality and free will - something animals don’t have. Animals don’t have free will in that they are bound by their natural instincts.


#17

Regardless of one’s particular sin, we all need to make a sincere effort to pray, asking God to help us to overcome our temptations ~ for without Him we can do nothing.
Try thinking about how loved by God you are before you sin and what a sense of separation from him you are going to experience after you have abused yourself and settled for so much less than the fulfillment
of sexuality which He intended for you. With his love and help y*ou will be able to love yourself better than indulging in every
self centered inclination you have towards sexual fantasy but you must allow him into the picture before you fall. *
*E
ducate yourself more deeply on the meaning of human sexuality as a
gift
from God which can lead to genuine fulfillment. Ponder the reasons for giving your particular sin up by reading some good Catholic material that can enlighten you on what a more mature sexuality ~ one as gift ~ might mean for your life in terms of intimacy. This may help you more than just beating yourself up after you have fallen into the pit ~ for this too can become addictive and insincere. *
There are consequences to all sin and this one , as most,
in the
end can be based
on taking God’s forgiveness for granted. He knows our hearts better than we know them and he knows how sincere we are about
change
* and if we are not** truly** repented the consequences of sin come** not** because of God but because we** have **allowed **our minds to become darkened. *
God Bless You tomspitzley3


#18

I think phil19034’s advice is good. In addition, I would add that while you should take your shame seriously, you should also take care to avoid despair. Overcoming this habit is monumentally difficult; it will not happen after a single confession, although God will pour his graces on you every time you confess, and you should not expect an end to temptation. God continues to listen. After you’ve sinned, it is all the more important that you pray, even if you don’t “feel” your prayer quite as much, if at all. Nurture honest contrition and sorrow for sin, but don’t let your failure eat at you. Put the issue in God’s hands as much as you can. Make a good confession every time you fall. Pray, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”


#19

Human beings do not have free will. They are threatened with the fires of Hell if they follow their natural instincts as their animal counterparts do. A person does not have free will with a gun held to his head.

I would add that while you should take your shame seriously…

Shaming and guilt-tripping people about their sins is as vile as the sins themselves. Instead of ‘avoiding despair’ it leads people into it. Self-loathing can bring a person to the brink of suicide.

Best wishes,
Padster


#20

ok, the new commenter that has just posted a couple posts talked about sex just being natural, and ok to masturbate,…whereas the OP talked about wanting to stop m. for his spiritual sake.

Saying sex is just natural is true and correct according to the Bible, too, however, when we come to Christ, we are no longer any more, ‘just natural’, because if we have come to Him and committed ourselves and invited Him to live inside us, as adults (putting things that happen with babies aside for the moment) then God Himself lives in us, and Christian ways in following Him according to the Bible include become masters through HIs mastership, over our physical bodies, and all their functions, including sexuality,

Everyone’s sexuality is a wild horse, and you can’t let it just run wild, or it will do you plenty of damage, just like physical appetite is also just natural but you cannot allow yourself to eat chocolate cake as your only food, or it will kill you.

Wild horses can be tamed, and trained and so can a persons’ sexuality. The Bible says Jesus sets us free from having to obey sinful lusts.

These are not just words printed in a religious book, they are Holy Truths from God Himself.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.