If 85%-95% of adoptions in the USA over the last 10 years are domestic adoptions, I guess the statement above is incorrect.
The problem with adoption in all western countries is the desire for most to have babies leaving so many older children ‘on the shelve’ and this is widely due to the misconception that we are damaged in some way.
I am adopted and was adopted with my brother at 10 and 8 we had both been in the ‘system’ since infancy. Whilst we came with ‘baggage’ we have no more or less than most children - every child every person has issues whether or not they are adopted. No family is perfect and most children will go through the same stages - permiscuity, drug abuse and agression are all associated with ‘older adoptes’ but I have to say that in my time of working with adopted children (I belong to a group for newly adopted children) and my friends and other persons childhood is traumatic for all of us particularly our teenage years and I take offense to the insinuation that the fact that I was left sitting on the adoption shelve for 8 years because of the incompetence of the system makes me any less worthy because I am not a newborn - if as is likely - I am unable to concieve I will be adopting and I will be looking for children aged 3 and up in the knowledge that each child i unique whether you bear it or not and whether you raise it from a baby or not because it is not just what you do for a child which determines its adult self but its own experiences and its genetics and you would have to be a great geneticist to ensure you had a child without issues and who was ‘perfect’ alongside locking it up for 18 years.
sorry momoftwo but I just don’t have the stomach to go there again on this thread, no offense to you.
No offense taken:shrug:
It was a simple remark to your post is all.
I agree that totally failed adoptions are rare. When we began the adoption process, there happened to be quite a number of them in the media (things have changed for the better since then). At the time, many of the people I knew who were adopting, chose international due to this risk. I guess I was indicating why we chose an international adoption for our first child.
I also want to say that I feel so terribly for the OP. He started this thread to tell us all his happy news! The second response to his post was to ask why he didn’t choose a domestic adoption vs. going to China! If he had posted that he and his wife just had a baby, I’ll bet ALL of the posts thereafter would have been to congratulate him on his wonderful blessing. Unfortunately, I have heard so many comments like wifeandmomoftwo’s! My children are getting older now, and I resent that people expect me to explain why I chose to go to a foreign country to get them! In God’s eyes there are no borders or walls on this earth. We are all His children.
I don’t think Julianna indicated that it was “horrible” that mothers were keeping their babies. I think she was just stating a fact. I think what is horrible is that abortion is considered by many to be “better” than adoption.
well he did not find my question rude;) And FYI I did not ask him why he went overseas to adopt…perhaps you should read the question again;)
should I of waited till post 50 to ask a question??
[quote=]Unfortunately, I have heard so many comments like wifeandmomoftwo’s!
HMM, it was a question.
:rolleyes: Yes they are all God’s children. Sorry you take offense at such a simple and honest question.
I did not ask him why he did not adopt a domestic baby by the way!
I have no idea about adoption excpet for what I hear on the news.
So excuse me for asking such an offending question:shrug:
yup totally agree!
You will see that I included the OP.
The last sentence says to ask questions…that is what I did!
My wife and I adopted, Internationally, 18 years ago and at that time the red tape and cost we needed to go through was just too much. We went to an adoption agency that provided us the steps we needed to follow and copies of the documents that we needed to submit. We did not use/need a lawyer so the cost was very inexpensive. The only real cost was the transportation and the cost to the foriegn government. My wife is Philipino so we adopted from the Philipines.
What a beautiful story I loved the blog and seeing the whole process… Wow, it must have been impressive to be at the market where Jada was left. I was also wondering about the cream you used before getting her ears pierced, was that something you bought or something the dr had? The peds here don’t pierce ears but my daughter wants her ears pierced (and so do I) but I haven’t had the heart to take her yet (she is 2). She received some dangly earrings for Christmas and insisted that my mom hang them from the top of her ears:p Anyways, thanks for sharing… I have a friend that is in the process of adopting from South America and it was neat to catch a glimpse of the type of things she is/will be possibly going through.
Gianna, although I have no experience with adopting I can relate to your comments about people actually demanding (and I don’t mean honestly asking, I’m not talking about you wifeandmomoftwo :)) why others don’t adopt from the US rather than internationally. To me its as silly as demanding why you chose one orphanage over another or one agency over another, one state over another, etc. God has different paths for each of us and may put the information/availability/interest towards different paths in our hearts to help lead us to what He wants of us (in these cases adopting some very beautiful children :)). Its also like when people ask why people have large families instead of adopting and having less children.
OP, I liked your idea of your daughter being able to evangelize in her own birth country.
Whether we adopt internationally or domestically is really up to God. It is His calling us to do His will. He know which of us can handle each situation and therefore He places it before us. Hopefully we answer the call. End of story.
The question is rude because it presupposes that the adopting parents have not considered the adoption choices. I have yet to meet any adopting parents who have not carefully considered all their available options and have chosen the one best for their family and situation. Many times that consideration includes how and what they are best able to provide for the adopted child. Some people choose older children, because they don’t want the baby stage. Some people have a great desire for the baby stage. Don’t you think these desires are written on the adopting parents’ hearts by God. Frankly, if you really want to know the answer to this question, ask God. He is the only one who knows why He places this on the hearts of the adopting parents.
This is the one question that if you think you want to ask it then just don’t. Not every question that one thinks about deserves to be asked out loud. And please, don’t ever ask this in front of any adopted children.
Thanks so much, you are very kind.
The market was very sobering. But, its also a revelation of how much God loves us that we were abandoned and separated from God and He came to earth to ransom us from a world and a life of an orphan. Eph. 1:5.
The cream was prescribed by our dr. Has “caine” at the end of it. So, its probably good stuff.
We too adopted in November of 2005 from China. It was an incredible journey. We have three bio children and were “called” to adopt. I did NOT want to travel because I didn’t want to leave the other children for a long period of time. But when He calls you, you must obey and thru prayer He spoke to my DH (who heard the call first BTW)…I had to swallow all of those fears and just do what He told me. I didn’t know who was going to watch my two middles (our son went with us) up until a few weeks before we left. It all worked out and suddenly people stepped up to the plate that I never dreamed would help out.
When people ask, Why China…(a very valid question) I simply say, “it’s where my daughter is”.
Two years later, she is truly our hero and has blessed our lives in ways that I never dreamed possible. I knew what it was like to be a mother with having three under my belt…but now I truly know the definition of the word. SHe has taken our hearts places I didn’t know exist and her smile lights up any darkened room. I know that sounds so cheesy but I can’t help it, it’s true.
So for anyone wanting or thinking about adopting…I can tell you, it’s worth every penny, every step, every set back.
That’s my two cents. thanks to the OP …I love to tell our story.
Well it is a good thing that I did not ask WHY they went overseas to adopt:D