i am pregnant, not married. i love children and i would love to be a mother. now that i am pregnant i have this idea that God wants me to give the baby in adoption. I do not want this. Matthew 19 29 mentions giving up children. What am I supposed to think?
So much depends on your situation.
There are numerous Catholic agencies to help with various scenarios.
If you want to keep your baby, you should keep it, providing you have the help and support you will need.
But adoption is a wonderful gift to many families and the babies also.
What do you feel in your heart?
The above poster is right…there are so many things to think about in making such a decision. Perhaps make an appointment with your priest and discuss? If you truly are not able to provide a stable life for your child, then it is a very loving thing to allow your baby to be adopted into a good family. And some women are very capable of being a good single parent and provide the emotional, spiritual and physical support their child needs.
God bless you as you discern this.
This will be an unpopular opinion on this forum but I think people that want children should stop breeding and start adopting the hordes of unwanted children in the world. We need to get population growth under control. ok thnx.
Just a personal opinion. I have no interest in arguing, I already kinda did that in another thread.
I was 16 and alone when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest child. I worked with catholic social services throughout my pregnancy. I initial planned to place my baby for adoption, and I even had three families in mind to take him. I was sure I wanted him raise Catholic and to have siblings, so I only looked at the case studies of Catholic couples with other kids. I wanted a closed adoption because I knew I could not do an open adoption. I worked on trying to contact birth dad so he could sign his rights away.
The social workers worked with me to sort out all my reasons for wanting to keep my baby, all my reasons for placing him, and there was never any judgment. I was not pressured to keep him or to place him, and I was assured that whichever I chose, help was there for me.
I ended up keeping my son and I have never regretted that decision. We have been through so many hard times but we always made it through. My husband has adopted him and become his father legally as well as emotionally. For us it has worked out. A good friend that I met at catholic social services during this time opted to place her baby. She also has never regretted that decision. She went in to later marry her baby’s father, and they have 4 more children together. Her daughter has recently met the family.
The decision can only be made by you. Work closely with an adoption counselor to help you sort things out. God will give you the graces necessary to make this work out no matter which decision you decide on. All you need to do is be open to His will and accept the help He extends to you. That is difficult because sometimes His way of helping is not the way we think He should help us. But I promise His ways ultimately turn out best. I will be praying for you, your baby, and your baby’s father.
so we have to hear your opinion but you wont hear ours. sure because you “already know” what we’re going to say. life and people are not miserable and hopeless though you might think that. but whatever.
Then you need to work on laws that make adopting these hordes unwanted children affordable and easier. Many couples would LOVE to adopt but are unable to come up with the tens of thousands of dollars necessary. Others cannot be approved because they are “too old,” “too young,” “too sick,” “not financially secure enough,” have good jobs that are considered “not stable enough” due to frequent moves, and hundreds of other ridiculous rules and hurdles to jump through. The honest truth isn’t that no one wants these children, it is that many governments and their citizens think that these children should not exist at all so they keep them institutionalized and throw them away as adults.
I would suggest you make an appointment to talk to a counselor at Catholic Charities. They will counsel on both a parenting and an adoption plan, and help you with the pros and cons of both of these paths. My sister participated in counseling and a support group through Catholic Charities as she worked through all the associated issues related to making a decision to parent or make an adoption plan.
My wife and I were lucky enough to adopt four children (they are all adults now). We always prayed for their biological mothers (especially on their “special day” — the day the children came to live with us). We were fortunate, and we never paid “tens of thousands” of dollars. Most came with a “sllding scale” cost through our county … all were inexpensive (less than one thousand total)… and the last one was free!
Please pray over your decision, and my wife and I will pray as well. Then you can rest assured that you will know what to do. I know many single mothers who have done a wonderful job raising a child, and I know many who have given their child up for adoption., Only you and God know what’s best for you.
Blessings on you and your child.
Great reply. I agree with everything you said.
It’s all a racket. It’s sad that a wealthy single celebrity can easily run over to sub-saharan Africa or southeast Asia to buy an ‘exotic’ toddler that she can brandish around in Hollywood like an accessory while the nice, middle-class, midwestern Christian couple have to jump through all kinds of hoops to adopt a child.
Our entire governmental system is corrupted at nearly every level. However there are legitimate reasons for some the restrictive measures put in place for adoption, but yes they are overkill and unfair.
You put me in my place.
In the end, you need to do what’s right for the baby and for you.
I placed a child. I was able to choose her family and they were able to take care of her when I couldn’t.
PM me if you’d like to talk further. In the end, it’s only a decision that you can make.
It is unfair. It’s unfair to all involved, especially the kids. I know that there are ways to adopt low cost or free, but MOST families are unable to be approved for any of that. I know so many people who want desperately to adopt and have been on lists for years, but their time never comes. Some are unable to have children of their own, other want to add to their families. The requirements of most agencies are so outrageous that military couples are denied because they move too often, a couple in their early 40’s is too old, a marginal income is too poor–but kids are somehow better off in foster care or institutions instead of with a mom and dad that would love them forever.
I’m glad that many families are able to adopt for less money, but for a great deal of people, international adoptions are the only way they have a chance. The cost of visas and travel alone eats up thousands of dollars. Then there are the attorney fees and agency fees. All this on top of the other requirements makes adoption a fantasy for many loving couples.
And yes, celebrity couples tend to not be in this for honorable reasons. Just another example of how unfair life really is.
If you are unsure, then I join everyone else in saying that you should visit Catholic Charities. You will be given a counselor that is yours- NOT yours and couples waiting to adopt. She will help you work through your decision, and will help you if you should decide to keep the baby. She will also help you if you decide to put the baby up for adoption. She will only focus on what is good for you and your baby- no agenda in mind- and will be a source of help no matter what you decide to do. As I’ve said frequently in other forum posts, our daughter and her husband were unable to have children. They adopted a wonderful little guy through Catholic Charities- and we don’t know what our family would have done without him!!! He is well-loved, desperately wanted- and the subject of our daily prayers of thanksgiving. We always pray for the birth mother- who, if she chooses, can return to Catholic Charities to see monthly pictures and receive monthly updates. I can’t advise you on what you should do- but I will keep you and your baby in my daily prayers as you discern!
I must have glanced over this the first time
haha, well yeah, I know what you’re going to say…this is a catholic forum, duh! It’s just intriguing how religious folks can be so pathologically pro-breeding in such a godless and dangerous world.
And the reason I don’t want to argue is because of that other thread. I just get a bunch of emotional mom responses, or weird guys that go on rants about the army of christ or whatever and accuse me of threatening their life for being philosophically sympathetic to the idea of letting humanity go extinct.
In other words, I am misunderstood on the topic. Apparently there are insane people out there that believe that sperm = human life.
Yeah, I agree about life being unfair. Honestly though, I don’t have much knowledge on this topic, and you seem to have personal experience on the issue, so I am going to take your word for it. I was just being glib with my previous post.
God bless you dear one!
Please be assured of my prayers. Please kindly ignore some other posters and “internet trolls” here we often have unwelcome visitors that get carried away and post things that are inappropriate to the topic at hand.
You came here seeking support for an unplanned pregnancy, I can offer you my constant prayers. God bless you for choosing life. Discerning motherhood is something we cannot help you with, but you can do that through prayer and my examining your state in life. Do you have a relationship with the babies father? Do you have a stable home life? Do you have possibilities for employment? Do you have good friends and family?
I cannot violate forum rules and ask you where you live so please don’t provide an address, however if you provide a state I would be happy to look up a list of pregnancy resource centers in your area that would provide free counseling to help you make this big decision. God bless you.
And God bless both of you for choosing life and thinking about the welfare of your baby above all else.