Adultery online. Is really adultery???

If a married man of 29 years has a relationship with a woman online, is that considered adultery?

Let’s consider these facts:
[list]
*]the married man was not married in church
*]the relationship was only via email, chat and phone calls
*]the man did not think of this woman in a sexual manner.
*]the has intentions of meeting the woman
*]the man serves the church as an EM
[/list]If he leaves his wife is it a sin? If he marries the woman is that a sin? please let look at the technicalities and sort it out. Did he do anything wrong? he has had relations with the woman?

Yes. Most relationships begin in a non-sexual, emotional way. If he is having a deeply emotional relationship with this women via email, etc, odds are pretty good he has an idea in the back of his head that this women will fill some need for him in the future, as a girlfriend, future lover, wife etc. He needs to work on his relationship with his wife instead of spending his time and energy on a third party.

You figure–>definition:

Main Entry: adul·tery
Pronunciation: &-'d&l-t&-rE
Function: noun
: voluntary sexual activity (as sexual intercourse) between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband; also : the crime of adultery —compare FORNICATIONadul·ter·er /&-'d&l-t&-r&r/ nounadul·ter·ess /-t&-r&s/ noun

Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

adultery

n : extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations; “adultery is often cited as grounds for divorce” [syn: criminal conversation, fornication]
Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University

Now try this one–>fidelity–>definition:

infidelity
\In`fidel"ity, n.; pl. Infidelities. [L. infidelitas: cf. F. infid['e]lit’e].] 1. Want of faith or belief in some religious system; especially, a want of faith in, or disbelief of, the inspiration of the Scriptures, of the divine origin of Christianity.

There is, indeed, no doubt but that vanity is one of the principal causes of infidelity. --V. Knox.

  1. Unfaithfulness to the marriage vow or contract; violation of the marriage covenant by adultery.

  2. Breach of trust; unfaithfulness to a charge, or to moral obligation; treachery; deceit; as, the infidelity of a servant. ``The infidelity of friends.’’ --Sir W. Temple.
    Source: Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

infidelity

n : the quality of being unfaithful [syn: unfaithfulness[/size]] [ant: fidelity[/size]]

[size=2]I hope this helps to clarify part of your question. [/size]

[/size]

Having been there I can say, of course it is. Why is the husband interested in a woman other than his wife? The time and effort he spends in this relationship takes away from the time and effort he would have spent with his wife. What is so interesting about this woman? Does he admire her? Does she make him feel good (ego boosting etc)? Its called an emotional affair and believe me, it hurts the marriage (and the spouse) just as much as the physical kind.

[quote=mommi2four]If a married man of 29 years has a relationship with a woman online, is that considered adultery?

Let’s consider these facts:

[list]
*] the married man was not married in church
*] the relationship was only via email, chat and phone calls
*] the man did not think of this woman in a sexual manner.
*] the has intentions of meeting the woman
*] the man serves the church as an EM
[/list]
[/quote]

*] the married man was not married in church

Immaterial. If he’s married, he’s married.

*] the relationship was only via email, chat and phone calls

Marriage is about more than fornication. “Again, adultery, as the definition declares, is committed in carnal intercourse. Nevertheless immodest actions indulged in between a married person and another not the lawful spouse, while not of the same degree of, guilt, are of the same character of malice as adultery.” Catholic Encyclopedia.

*] the man did not think of this woman in a sexual manner.

Then no adultery occurs. For it to be adultery, it has to be moving towards fornication between a married person and a person other than his/her spouse, with the idea of consummating the illicit relationship. See above. But, what do you know “he” was thinking?

*] the has intentions of meeting the woman

What IS he thinking? :wink: There are many women I intend to meet - in my case, in a purely business setting, although there may be drinks, etc. in a group setting. But even if the meeting is one-on-one, that doesn’t count as adultery unless I intend to cheat or do cheat, with or without intent. Which I don’t, and won’t.

*] the man serves the church as an EM

Not relevant.

Overall, answer is NO, if there was no thought towards completing the act of fornication (or any sensual or intimate contact) outside of marriage.

Some might argue that it is a lesser form of adultery, but I haven’t seen anything official to support that proposition. It may still be sinful, but would not be adultery. Ultimately, you are looking for an act of injustice performed against the spouse, irrespective of whether there was an intent to hurt the spouse, with the intent to have sexual relations with a person other than the spouse.

There are probably a thousand additional facts and hairs that can be split, analyzed down to the smallest detail. Your mileage may vary.

[quote=mommi2four]please let look at the technicalities and sort it out.
[/quote]

Need more details.

“Relationship” could me anything from strangers to friends to lovers. It sounds like you’re talking about (romantic) lovers.

Was the man Catholic when he was married? If so, did he have dispensation to marry outside the Church? If the marriage isn’t valid, then the man is already living in adultery.

Even if his marriage isn’t sacramentally valid, he did make a promise to his wife to love and honor and forsake all others till death due us part. If he leaves her, if nothing else, he’s breaking a promise.

Sounds like a bad situation all the way around. A man who is thinking about leaving his wife. A woman who has no qualms about being involved with a married man.

From the words of Jesus:

It makes it clear that just lusting after a woman, I think what he is doing on the computer qualifies as lusting, is adultery.

[quote=felra]You figure–>definition:

Main Entry: adul·tery
Pronunciation: &-'d&l-t&-rE
Function: noun
: voluntary sexual activity (as sexual intercourse) between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband; also : the crime of adultery —compare FORNICATIONadul·ter·er /&-'d&l-t&-r&r/ nounadul·ter·ess /-t&-r&s/ noun

Source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

adultery

n : extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations; “adultery is often cited as grounds for divorce” [syn: criminal conversation[/size], fornication]
Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University

Now try this one–>fidelity–>definition:

infidelity
\In`fidel"ity, n.; pl. Infidelities. [L. infidelitas: cf. F. infid['e]lit’e].] 1. Want of faith or belief in some religious system; especially, a want of faith in, or disbelief of, the inspiration of the Scriptures, of the divine origin of Christianity.

There is, indeed, no doubt but that vanity is one of the principal causes of infidelity. --V. Knox.

  1. Unfaithfulness to the marriage vow or contract; violation of the marriage covenant by adultery.

  2. Breach of trust; unfaithfulness to a charge, or to moral obligation; treachery; deceit; as, the infidelity of a servant. ``The infidelity of friends.’’ --Sir W. Temple.
    Source: Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

infidelity

n : the quality of being unfaithful [syn: unfaithfulness[/size]] [ant: fidelity[/size]]

[size=2]I hope this helps to clarify part of your question. [/size]

helps alot. thank you
[/quote]

[quote=mommi2four]If he leaves his wife is it a sin? If he marries the woman is that a sin? please let look at the technicalities and sort it out. Did he do anything wrong? he has had relations with the woman?
[/quote]

If he plans on leaving his wife, well then… I guess it’s kind of obvious that he was looking elsewhere.

AND, if he leaves his wife and intends on marrying this other women… well then he obviously had romantic feelings for her.

Sounds like he wasn’t being faithful to me.

PS Why would this other women want him? :confused:

Hi,

I am 55 years old and a practising Catholic. I have been experiencing lack of faith ( questioning how can I feel the existence of GOD) on and off. When I asked a priest about this he said that he saw me as person with faith in GOD. However, in my mind I always want to feel or see some evidence for the existence of GOD. This doubt had been deepened especially after I tried to explain the existence of GOD to a aithist friend of mine. I hope I get some favorable answer to my question. I am not contraditing myself. I am confused. I do pray hard to gain persitent faith, specially to our lady.

Regards

Jay

It might not be a full blown affair, but it’s close. Let me add that men cannot be friends with women without at least thinking about having sex with her unless there are other issues that would block sexual thinking such as extreme age difference etc.
:cool:

*How do we know that the man doesn’t think of the woman in a sexual manner…because ‘he says so?’ I take it the man was caught doing this by his wife, and of course he will say…I wasn’t thinking of her in ‘that’ way.’ :o And affairs don’t start overnight…they brew over time, like this situation seems to be doing. I don’t think it’s adultery yet, per se, but I think if someone continues to play with fire, he/she will eventually get burned. At the worst, the husband is betraying his wife by setting his sights, time, and energy on cultivating an unhealthy relationship with someone other than his wife. *

Even if people are married outside of the Catholic Church, the Church recognizes their marriage vows as does the rest of society.

This man is having an emotional affair. If he is a moral Christian he has to stop this behaviour. If his emotional girlfriend has any conscience she will back off today rather than destroying another woman’s home,family and marriage.

…If the “other woman” knows that she is in fact an “other woman”–this guy may be lying to her.

In any event, this relationship is trouble.

How would this guy feel if his wife were having a similar relationship? I’ll bet he’d be plenty upset. “Sauce for the goose,” etc.

How can you make this judgment from the information provided?

I don’t agree with that statement. Maybe some men can’t, but please don’t condemn all of us.

Again, how do you have enough information to make this judgment?

Leaving your wife to be with another woman is adultery, period. The details don’t really matter.

Well based on the fact that this man seems to want to meet this woman, then there’s got to be some interest in her, why else would anyone want to meet anyone they have chatted over the internet on a constant basis unless he/she is interested in that person!

I know that if I were chatting with someone and on a daily basis or so and I had a close relationship through chatting I would be very interested in meeting this person…:shrug:

I think it’s adultery, but a “lesser kind of adultery” then an actual physical affair.

Without a doubt it is wrong, and his intention to meet her is REALLY wrong. However, if you can stop that from happening by taking an ax to the computer, then dragging his sorry butt to marital counseling (and confession) both might uncover some other issues he has.

Remember not to automatically divorce him though.

Please begin a new thread if you wish to discuss another topic unrelated to the original post.

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