Advice and prayers



I have purviewed these forums for a while and decided that it was appropriate to write this post. I will begin by asking you for your prayers. I am a fairly newlywed husband and love my wife with all of my heart. However, things have been rather rough a bit lately. Unknown to me (found out by accident), she looked into and started embracing a non-Christian religion. This came primarily over certain fears and, well, has needless to say caused a difficulty and a hurt in my soul, as both of us are practicing, faithful Catholics - and plan to raise a Catholic family in that light. Furthermore, it appears another problem from the past has resurged—an attraction to those of the same gender. While most earthly men in our society today do not see this as a problem — in fact, they encourage it — I as a Catholic man do not approve.

Anyhow, what I need now mostly is prayers, comfort, and Catholic friendship. And she needs the same. Also, this question is particularly for ladies out there (but men, please feel free to chime in), what is the line in terms of finding things out about a spouse? I do not want to seem like Big Brother, but at the same time, I fear if I do not find out problems quickly and act decisively, they could spin way out of control. I trust my wife, it is just the Devil whom I do not. I know that she loves me and would not do any of what I described because she doesn’t love me, doesn’t want to be Catholic, etc.? I honestly think it is the Devil trying to play on temptations and fear. Should I just sit back and pray for the best? Or, rather, should I attempt to find things out? For those who are about to suggest talking about it with her, these are very touchy and emotional subjects which may, if I press the wrong button, could tear things apart and make me even less in the loop.

God bless!


I will send prayers your way! What a discouraging time you are going through, but you seem to be relying on Christ to bolster you and He will not disappoint!

I am a woman and I believe that when a person suspects that his spouse is betraying some aspect of the marriage vows (porn, inappropriate communication with others, etc.) you have every right to investigate further. Contrary to what modern society tells us, people who do not behave in a trustworthy manner are not deserving of privacy in activities or communication. If it is within your power to “check up” on your wife, I would do so if I were you. Obviously I don’t mean stalking or anything else that would be illegal, but you might check the browser history, review cell phone records, etc. You need to know what you’re up against in order to be able to respond well to what is going on.

If you haven’t done so already, please go talk to a reliable priest about this problem. It is such a delicate situation and you would benefit from speaking with someone who has prior experience in pastoring couples through such difficulties.


It is good to trust your spouse, but this does mean you must do so blindly. Do you have solid indications that she is indeed starting to practice another faith and having an inappropriate relation with someone of the same sex? I think the more solid your indications are, the more thoroughly you should investigate them. Sometimes our worst fears have no basis, but other times they are well-founded. Before you go any further, I would step back, and try to see if your suspicions are based on facts or fears. Of course, praying for the wisdom to distinguish the two would be good.


Oh My! Prayers… Of course.


God Bless you and your wife in the beginning of your happy marriage.

I and all the Soldiers OF Mercy, will keep you in our prayers. Keep the faith, and don’t surrender, we are all here praying for you.

I have been married 15 years and its been hard at times but God in His Mercy, held it all together.

Jesus I Trust In You. Amen.


Prayers for you and your wife.

I have not always been the most faithful to the faith Catholic, and for a while only went to church because DH told me I was going. We were married Catholic, our children will be Catholic, and I was going to go to church with him for him, was pretty much his attitude, (he never dragged me to the car or anything just wanted to make that clear) and I am so very glad he made me go. I would start with telling her that you want the two of you to go to church together, because your children are/will be raised Catholic. I don’t know if you can really stop her from looking into other religions but I would try really hard to at least let there be an hour of Catholicism in her life every week.

As for the attraction issue, you made it sound like you knew this about her before you were married, I hope you did. If you didn’t I am sorry had to find this out by accident. I would talk to her about it but not focus on the gender, infidelity is infidelity and you deserve to know as much as you want to know. I think you need to ask her trust you and to really talk to you, and if she won’t then you really talk to her.


I’m so sorry for your situation–I will keep you in my prayers. May I ask how you have found out about this, up to this point?


I just noticed the date on the OP? If lovinghusband is out there I hope things are going better.

closed #9

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit