Please help me get some perspective! I am happily married with children. My family is large so there are a lot of siblings of mine around because my parents live here. One sister is especially hurting with mental issues-it seems like- and has taken to riding around with a stocked bar-a cooler in her car. She is a chronic liar, she has rage issues and her marriage is on the rocks-we assume we know why, but she lies so much. Her kids are so young and sweet and she is jeopardizing their lives when she is drunk.I have recently had an awakening from denial that my whole family has an alcoholic mindset from reading Al-Anon stuff and general info about alcoholism, which I think one of my parents was one. This sister has isolated her husband from our family to keep him from knowing the truth of all her antics in my home. She hides her drinking from him & I think she’s cheated on him. She dresses like a street walker and tells strangers she’s getting divorced soon. She has “come on” to my teen boys and their homeschooled friends just recently, trying to “sexy dance” with them while they were practicing for a recital. She rants and raves if I try and discuss her problems. Other times she acts like I’m the only one who “gets her”. She comes on to my husband and our friend’s husbands. I’m almost positive she slept with my ex-husband when she was 19. But I love her anyway. I want the best for her.I am obviously being used. I get that. What I can’t take anymore is the fact that my peace of mind is being stolen in my own home. My husband never intervenes and helps protect us. He is a huge guy but is more pacifist and doesn’t like to be the bad guy. Other siblings of mine drink a lot and leave here drunk I admit…I just never noticed because they don’t stumble around. I’m so anxious about how am I going to keep sister my killing someone. She’s already had a bad wreck which cut off her ear as a teen-drinking and driving. She got a DUI last year. Her kids couldnt wake her up and called my Mom on accident and left messages, “Daddy, please help me, I can’t wake up Mommy. Oh, please don’t be mad at me for calling you…” Mom confronted her and she explodes with threats and promises to never see her again. etc.
I wrote a family notice telling them my thoughts on how we were raised and how drinking has and is effecting me. That I need not to be around drunks and no one should ever drive after drinking. Another sister agree wholeheartedly. She never had a drinking problem. The others are silent and I pretty much know they are mad and feel like I’m ruining their fun. I said that if they get drunk and drive off I’ll call the patrol and give their plate # or they could accept a ride home. None of them accept rides!
So, DH was upset at me for this letter and said I went too far. He said if they get drunk and wreck it’s their own fault. He was worried that we’d be the bad guys and be unpopular & never get visitors again. Although he doesn’t necessarily like the noisy and messy get togethers-He’s afraid to get into a confrontation I think.
On some website, it said that you should allow the alcoholics to experience the consequences-but dying or killing someone seems a heavy price.
What is a Catholic response to this madness?