Advice for dating Catholic women


#1

I wanted to know what Catholic girls are looking for in guys and how I as a Catholic man can approach them, get to know them, and get going on dating? I’m lonely and I really do want a holy companion (and something that can turn into something more); I do have that desire for intimacy (in a good way) and the desire to share myself with another. I really do want to meet great Catholic women and I’m hoping to attend something next month that will hopefully allow me to get into contact with these women.

Thanks!


#2

Evangelizing one would be an option. The Lord may call you into a situation where much suffering will occur. And through this suffering you can witness to her. My point is that you must allow the Lord to work through you and become content without the girl. Give him everything and if He wishes you to marry He’ll make it happen. I didn’t marry until I was older. There are many good Protestant women out there that love the Lord. Some of them are looking and won’t tell you at first. They’ve discovered the shallowness of their own faith tradition. Be a light in the world for them. Be yourself.


#3

My advice, stick to Catholic women and save yourself tons of head/heartache. :wink:


#4

Well, start out with what you are bringing onto the table:

Are you taking care of yourself, physically, financially, spiritually?

If you are doing so, and you are serious, you won’t need to find someone already Catholic, she’ll become Catholic by default because you are a shining example of one, so stop trying to pick from the pool that is, if you are strong enough to take this advice, that is, if you are up to the challenge of even “gasp” dating some gal that doesn’t even go to church, “yet”, or something…

Anyway, good luck, just saying, don’t discount, nor don’t take for granted what you put onto the table here my friend in Christ.


#5

First, I think you should set the example with your spirituality and holiness and most importantly, purity of heart. Second, I would pray. Ask for help from the our heavenly mother, the Virgin Mary. I am sure she will guide you to the right partner for you. :thumbsup:


#6

‘LotusCarsLtd’?
Have you tried driving a red ferrari , being flashy and spending lavishishly
already.

If thats failed:
Asking for dating advice from people who dont know you on the internet leads nowhere. You need to go to Catholic events and socialize with male friends who are interested in the same thing–women. Develop friends while seeking dates. Then you bring your dating life problems to a male friend who has some acquaintance with you. Keep at this long enough and you may solve your problem.


#7

Mr. Lotus

I myself am a young practicing Catholic man. There are many ways to find very nice, practicing Catholic ladies even today!

Here are some good ways from my personal experience to meet great young men and women , while growing in your faith and making friends at the same time!..

  • try finding your nearest Catholic young adult group, whether it be Theology on Tap or some other name. attend mutiple ones in your state to broaden your range even further

  • If there is a Catholic college in your area that does Adoration, be sure to stop in there before the blessed Sacrament in the evening or morning before or after classes.

  • Go to daily mass

  • Attend seminars and classes, theology of the body, apologetics, etc. (Especially if it is young adult oriented)

  • Make a pilgrimage to a shrine on the weekend

Hope I have given you some good ideas.

I have found out that most virtuous young women seem to prefer to be friends first. I would wait for a few months to get to know some lady that has caught your eye, while going to things that I have mentioned above. Biggest tips in conversation would be
A. Be friendly with every young woman you meet, even if you have no romantic interest in her
B. When talking to her, focus on her eyes and face( a modestly-dressed yet classy young catholic lady really gets me going:heart:)
C. Dont be afraid to compliment her! It could be something as simple as her eyes. I am phlegmatic, and this has been something hard for even me.
D. Be a Chivalrous man! Open doors, eat with your mouth closed/use a napkin, help her out, apologize when you said or did something wrong. You wanna get some big ++++1’s form the ladies? Well, do the above and more!
E
I found one of a woman’s favorite topics is her family, ask questions about her sibling, parents, etc. I found this to be a great icebreaker!


#8

I would say this is sound advice.


#9

As an engaged Catholic woman, also realize that we are more than just Catholic. Religion is not the only thing that should tie a couple together. If someone walks around and can only talk about Catholicism, it is a huge turn off. It’s about being a well-rounded person and having diverse interests.


#10

off topic here but its an open post and it has the same statement in here as others do. People in uniform are not the same as civilians and it is even more so of Marines. Thats what recruit training is for. Sure we are people but we are held to a higher standard. If you put civilians in Iraq and had them perform the same mission as Marines they would not perform to the same standard. Sure there are probably some super studs who could do some or maybe everything but discipline isn’t something you can just had over to a person and send them on your way. Thats why after 13 weeks in recruit training you are still only a basic trained Marine with more training to follow and built on for the remainder of your career. whether its 4 years or 30.
Then you have the whole leadership factor which I can say there isn’t a lot of in the civilian workforce. I didn’t say none so don’t get to worked up.

And this is even more off topic but everyone says we are at war for oil and its wrong…Everyone who says that should be slapped every time they complain about the price at the pumps.

Sorry for the off topic reply…first time in the answer thing…I could go on all day but I think this is enough…


#11

It would be nice if those kinds of things were available. I don’t know if I’d consider myself much of a “young” adult anymore, but there really isn’t anything like that around me. I’ve gone to a few classes or different groups and the vast majority of people are senior citizens with a married couple or two splashed in. I don’t have any Catholic friends, male or female so I pretty much just go to Church on the weekend and that’s it.


#12

Be respect of the ladies. Ask us out. Start a young adults group at your church if one doesn’t exist already. Make friends first then go from there. If you’re shy push yourself to be social. Check out catholicmatch.com by the way too while your at it. :cool:


#13

[quote="LotusCarsLtd, post:1, topic:216613"]
I wanted to know what Catholic girls are looking for in guys and how I as a Catholic man can approach them, get to know them, and get going on dating? I'm lonely and I really do want a holy companion (and something that can turn into something more); I do have that desire for intimacy (in a good way) and the desire to share myself with another. I really do want to meet great Catholic women and I'm hoping to attend something next month that will hopefully allow me to get into contact with these women.

Thanks!

[/quote]

My advice is to approach her in the mindset of making a new friend. If you start talking to a girl in the mindset of getting into a romantic relationship then you'll find yourself not being yourself. You'll be saying certain things and acting in a special way just to "get with" her because you like the gushy feelings you have when you're interacting with her. That is self-interest, not interest in the other person.

Unless you're willing to be with her just because she's a good and interesting person then you need to examine your motives. This also makes things much simpler because you'll reveal yourself for who you are from the first time you meet, instead of a guy who just wants a girlfriend. You have to ask yourself the question: "Am I a good friend to this person, or is she just a source of good feelings for me?"

The fact that you say that you are lonely hints that you may be just looking for a way to fill a void. A girl doesn't want to be a means to an end. She is supposed to be the end. What do you have to offer her? Are you a good person? If interacting with her stops giving you the feeling of infatuation or she doesn't want the romantic aspect of the relationship to continue, would you still be her friend? Do you need to be dating the girl to "share yourself" with her?

I don't mean to be judgmental. These are just things you should consider. What I'm saying may sound like some unrealistic altruistic ideal, but I think it's what any Christian relationship is supposed to be about.


#14

This reminds me of a Star Trek:TNG episode where Picard tells Data “I’d be delighted to give you advice on understanding women. When I have some I’ll let you know.”


#15

I agree with one exception, stick to only faithful Catholic women. I took the headache road and it takes a uncommon strength to endure.


#16

I’ve known many catholic women in my life time (from across over 20 parishes). But the best woman I ever met is my orthodox wife


#17

[quote="Pitcharan, post:16, topic:216613"]
I've known many catholic women in my life time (from across over 20 parishes). But the best woman I ever met is my orthodox wife

[/quote]

orthodox or Orthodox? :)


#18

Orthodox - Malankara Orthodox Syrian Church, which traces it’s foundation to St. Thomas the Apostle who brought christainity to India in the frist century AD, and whose tomb is in my home town


#19

[quote="Bataar, post:11, topic:216613"]
It would be nice if those kinds of things were available. I don't know if I'd consider myself much of a "young" adult anymore, but there really isn't anything like that around me. I've gone to a few classes or different groups and the vast majority of people are senior citizens with a married couple or two splashed in. I don't have any Catholic friends, male or female so I pretty much just go to Church on the weekend and that's it.

[/quote]

I hear you!
Have you tried going to Daily Mass? I started going for a promise I made to our Lord and got hooked.
I see many women there, I noticed that it's mostly women who go around here at least.
Unfortunately for me, I don't see many men around my age group :(
I think I may try some Catholic events, but mainly to volunteer, not really to find someone. I think Catholic internet dating sites would be my last resort.


#20

[quote="Norseman82, post:14, topic:216613"]
This reminds me of a Star Trek:TNG episode where Picard tells Data "I'd be delighted to give you advice on understanding women. When I have some I'll let you know."

[/quote]

Hahaha, I need to watch that series more.


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