Advice for dating Catholic women

Daily Mass isn’t an option for me as they conflict with my work schedule.

Between the age of 16 and 27 I never attended even Sunday mass. But after marrying my Orthodox wife at 27, I initially started going on some Sundays. Since my 39th b’day I am a daily mass goer. Now I am 53

I myself am a single Catholic and would recommend that you should just be yourself- nothing more and nothing less.

I’d like to say something about the altruistic ideal dating situation that was presented earlier. It is true that a relationship not based ultimately in friendship is an illusion rather than a partnership. However, I think it is reasonable to say that dating is for the purpose of seeking a potential mate and getting to know that person. What it appears to say is that you should learn to love some girl unconditionally while remaining satisfied to be regarded only as an acquaintance by her. They imply that if you are unable to do this, you are somehow abnormal and not very Christian.

I don’t know too much about your situation, but I do know my own. I am an annulled Catholic and will turn 30 next week. I have a little girl who is 10. I also work and am a full time student with four more years of school to go. My heart is set on a family and more children. This “ideal” high-handed attitude that is being promoted is essentially the reason that I’ve quit dating.

During the conversation, they’ll ask what I want from life; when I tell them, that’s when I get the “you shouldn’t expect anything from me” lecture. When I state my goals I am reprimanded. My general desire for marriage and a family is automatically twisted and warped into -marriage and a family with*** them***, specifically.

Though a person may feel entitled to this sort of one-sided altruism, perhaps I’m a bit selfish, abnormal and unChristian, but I don’t have the time or the energy to get the life sucked out of me by some one way street peppered with standards that are designed to benefit the other person alone. Does loneliness automatically make someone an emotional vampire? I’ve been single for years and I’m pretty sure I’m not the one with vacuum problems. My Faith is near and dear to me, but to be frank, I’d be more willing to take my chances with a protestant, or even a nonbeliever before I waste my time with another Catholic Pharisee again. Just my 0.02 and I wish you luck with the ladies.

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