Advice For Dealing With Cousin

Hello all,

I posted a similar thread some time ago, but now something else has come up and I need some advice. If you saw my other thread, you’d know that I have a cousin, who has two children with a man to whom she isn’t married. Today, she came to visit my family, and at the very end I finally managed to screw up the courage to mention to her that I thought people who wanted to have children ought to be married. While she seemed somewhat troubled she did not shout at me or treat me harshly at all. She seemed somewhat receptive to the idea, or at least she didn’t reject it outright. My parents still disapprove strongly of my saying anything (my Dad even going so far as to say that “my religion is a personal matter”), so I have that to deal with.

My question is - what ought I to do about this? I want to make sure that I don’t act like a sanctimonious prig. How should I approach this? I know that I should do whatever I do with charity, but I could really use some advice on how to handle this.

You’ve expressed your opinion. There really isn’t much else you can do.

What more do you want to do? You already said what you wanted to say. What do you wish to accomplish by bringing up the subject again? These days, having children out of wedlock is common and even acceptable by society. Unless she wants to know why it is not acceptable to Catholics, I would leave it alone. You are just going to put her off by bringing it up again unless she asks you about your opinion. I say let it go now. You already said your piece.


And be happy that she seemed somewhat receptive. Maybe you’ve planted a seed for the future. Continue to pray for her.

You did the right thing by expressing yourself and now you need to step back and let the seeds you planted grow. Sometimes when I read about St. Monica I realize how much we need to stay in prayer with our issues and let God do His work, it is never easy but that is where you probably need to head now. Patience and prayer, I will pray with you.

Sounds like you did just fine.

And deep down she probably agrees and wants to be married.

What you might do if you want to do something further is to write her a short letter expressing your delight seeing her again. And then some short news of some sort. Then tell her that in the letter there is a green scapular of Mary that has been blessed especially for her. She may keep it in her wallet or purse if she likes and that you will pray for her happiness everyday.

Then say the prayer for her everyday, “O Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.” And say another one for yourself, and carry another scapular in your purse.

Mary has said that she will increase the person’s faith and even bring them back if they are fallen away if you have trust in her. Now Mary will keep her promise because she is immaculate and will always be immaculate and that means keeping her promises.

So this is Mary’s way of helping her out.

Just google “green scapular” and you’ll find a free one.

May God bless and keep you. May God’s face shine on you. May God be kind to you and give you peace.

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