Advice for dealing with father


#1

Hello I didnt know where to post this for advice. I just wanted to know how to talk to my father now that I have decided to convert to Catholicism, and he is, come to find out, very very anti-catholic. I still very much want to have him in my life but he hasnt respected my wishes for him not to bring up the subject of religion. Our past conversation was our wrost, he even stated that he hated me and called me wretched. Here is his email that he sent me after I hung up on him( I hope I am not breaking any rules by posting his email)

" It does not matter what I say anyway if it does not agree with what you think or feel then it is wrong according to you.Just because you do not believe something does not make it not true.Right is right and wrong is wrong.Rebellion is as the sin of witch craft.(1Sam. 15:23) Look it up.I have been under it’s spell my self.Whoever sins is a slave to sin. (John 8:34) Look it up.I was a slave to alcohol and many other pleasures that I chose to participate in.But each one of us is tempted when by our own evil desire,he is dragged away and enticed.Then,after desire has conceived,it gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full grown gives birth to Death. (James 1:14-15) Look it up. You profess to be wise LOOK UP THESE SCRIPTURES AND READ THEM FOR YOUR SELF. LOOK!! Do not be deceived;God cannot be mocked A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature,will reap destruction;the one who sows to please the Spirit from the Spirit will reap eternal life. (Galatians 6:7-8) Look it up.I have fallen many times,but praise God for the grace he has given me to live.I am not a hypocrite as you are convinced that I am.For I have REPENTED AND AM TRUSTING IN CHRIST ALONE FOR MY JUSTIFICATION.Which is something you have not done…yet…It is trusting in Jesus Christ and repentance of sins toward God (turning from your sin,changing your mind)that justifies you.To me Christ is my God and my King.He is Lord of my life and heart I have surrendered my will to Him and He will raise me up on the last day.Have you surrendered your life to him?I can say by the fruit of your lips and the fruit of your life that I see you have not.That is what counts in the eyes of God not going to church.I am done the catholic church is the great harlot of the book of revelation.It is the imposter of the true church of Jesus Christ and from it will arise the end times anti-christ that the world awaits LOOK IT UP.I can not say anymore to convince you of your errors.I will always pray for you."

Sorry for such a long message but I am at a lost for what to do. I have made my decision to become Catholic and that is final but I dont want to lose my relationship with my father.


#2

Wow, my friend. I am so sorry that he is hitting so hard on all this, and I can see that he’s pretty knowlegeable in The Word of God and that is always a plus.

The biggest problem is that he’s believed what he’s been told about the Catholic Church and not what we really believe, (as I’m sure you’ve found out since you are looking at coming into the church now.)

There may be no way to reach him or to get him to back off. That’s the first reality that you may have to face, and I’m sorry. I know that that hurts. :frowning:

The imperative is to seek truth and pursue it, and that is precisely what he is telling you to do. As my friends over at The Mary Foundation say, “Get the facts. Decide for yourself.”

All that whore of Babylon stuff is old news to most of us, and there are some killer articles that deal with those assertions and the passages that they cite HERE and I recommend that you read them carefully. You know your Dad best and how he might respond to such articles, so I won’t advise you on sending them to him, just let the Holy Spirit lead you.

Also have a look at 1st Peter 3:8 And in fine, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, being lovers of the brotherhood, merciful, modest, humble: 9 Not rendering evil for evil, nor railing for railing, but contrariwise, blessing: for unto this are you called, that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile.

11 Let him decline from evil, and do good: let him seek after peace and pursue it: 12 Because the eyes of the Lord are upon the just, and his ears unto their prayers: but the countenance of the Lord upon them that do evil things. 13 And who is he that can hurt you, if you be zealous of good? 14 But if also you suffer any thing for justice’ sake, blessed are ye. And be not afraid of their fear, and be not troubled. 15 But sanctify the Lord Christ in your hearts, being ready always to satisfy every one that asketh you a reason of that hope which is in you.

16 But with modesty and fear, having a good conscience: that whereas they speak evil of you, they may be ashamed who falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ. 17 For it is better doing well (if such be the will of God) to suffer, than doing ill.

That’s the key. No matter what is said, your first duty is to obey Our Lord and if someone asks then you answer the way this passage details, but most important of all is that the Catholic faith is a LIVING faith that deeply affects how we live and behave…so that like Peter says there “15 But sanctify the Lord Christ in your hearts, being ready always to satisfy every one that asketh you a reason of that hope which is in you.” People ask why? Because they see something in us that is true and real and living Christian faith. We can’t be responsible for everyone else my friend, but I am certainly responsible for me and how I live. (You know this already…right?) And this is the strongest testimony of all, isn’t it? You’ll hear often that St. Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the gospel to all creatures, when necessary use words.” He’s right.
PM me if I can be of any help at all. Know that I will include you and your Dad in all my prayers and at Mass.
Pax tecum, (“Peace be with you”)


#3

Ask him if the Catholic Church is this great harlet from revelations, why does he keep quoting from their book (Bible). You may try to explain to him it’s the Catholic Church who he trust that gave us our bible.


#4

Hi Sugar Free, witness to him with action, not just words. Seek to explain to him, how the fruit of the spirit is being encouraged through your engagement with the church. It is my experience that anti-catholics lack agape ( I Cor 13 ) and lack the fruit of the spirit.

Galatians 5
13You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 15If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

Life by the Spirit
16So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. 17For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
19The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, **discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
**
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.
25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.


#5

[quote=dal11]Ask him if the Catholic Church is this great harlet from revelations, why does he keep quoting from their book (Bible). You may try to explain to him it’s the Catholic Church who he trust that gave us our bible.
[/quote]

I have actually brought this up, way back when I had the stomach to fight about this. He claims that “his” bible is different because the “catholic bible” has been twisted and is full of lies. I know, he is as ignorant as he sounds and its his thick head that is ripping our relationship apart.

Thank you for all of your advice, the funny thing is that every peice of information he sends me, every argument he makes forces me to uncover the truth and this draws me closer to the Church. He hasnt realized that he has strenghtened my faith because of his protests, and for that I guess I should be thankful.


#6

Mat 10:

34: Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

35: For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

36: And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

37: He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

38: And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

39: He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

40: He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.

41: He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man’s reward.

42: And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.


#7

I am probably as old as your father, maybe older at 70. I know how it is when one of your children leaves the faith you have brought them up in. My son left the CC for a Baptist Church when he married his wife who is protestant and anti-catholic. It is very painful and hard to take especially if the parent is a strong believer. Then when your grandchildren are dedicated and not baptized it pours salt in the old wound. My advice would be to treat your father’s beliefs with respect but continue on your journey into the Catholic church. Don’t let him draw you into debate because words are only going to further wound your relationship. Let your love and respect preach to him without words that being Catholic has not turned you into a demonic outcast. My son knows how I feel and we have managed to continue our relationship with neither of us becoming polemical about our church affiliation. He lives nearby and is able to observe my activity and devotion to my Catholic faith. With time your father will probably not convert, but he may learn to accept and respect what he cannot change. In Revelation, John tells the church at ephesus that they need to regain their original love for one another and place that above wrangling over doctrine.

[Rev 2:1f] "To the angel of the church in Ephesus, write this: " 'The one who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks in the midst of the seven gold lampstands says this: "I know your works, your labor, and your endurance, and that you cannot tolerate the wicked; you have tested those who call themselves apostles but are not, and discovered that they are impostors. Moreover, you have endurance and have suffered for my name, and you have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: you have lost the love you had at first. Realize how far you have fallen. Repent, and do the works you did at first.


#8

its his thick head that is ripping our relationship apart.

And there you have it.
He is the one pulling away from you as you move toward God.
Just put it in perspective and continue on you way to Rome where God is calling you.
Read Semper Fi’s scriptural quotes. Print it. Carry it on your person and read it frequently.
My entire family was so angry when I converted, they still refuse to discuss religion with me (except to bash The Catholic Church whenever possible) and not one came to my Confirmation 3 years ago.
Whatever.
My faith and love has only increased.


#9

[quote=suger_free_56]… the funny thing is that every peice of information he sends me, every argument he makes forces me to uncover the truth and this draws me closer to the Church. He hasnt realized that he has strenghtened my faith because of his protests, and for that I guess I should be thankful.
[/quote]

Perhaps you should let him know this. It might temper his animosity and force him to be a little more selective in what he says to you if he knows that that every challenge he gives you forces you back to the books and only reinforces your belief. It might not convince him to change his mind, but at least he won’t be so antagonistic.


#10

[quote=Fidelis]Perhaps you should let him know this. It might temper his animosity and force him to be a little more selective in what he says to you if he knows that that every challenge he gives you forces you back to the books and only reinforces your belief. It might not convince him to change his mind, but at least he won’t be so antagonistic.
[/quote]

What Fidelis says is right on: let your father know that when he brings up these challenges, they send you on a research trip that brings you closer to the Church. Say this with love; don’t hit him in the face with it. Even express gratitude for this (if you can muster it).

Given what you say about your father, I would avoid direct confrontation if possible. Go to catholic.com and print out the various articles that address his challenges. Have these ready to hand to him if he gets in your face, or (if you’re having an e-mail exchange) copy the articles and send them that way. Don’t just send links (at least at this stage) because it would be easy for him to simply not open the link.

God bless—you’re in my prayers.


#11

Sugar Free

Tell your father that you love him when you get the chance.

Charity will help you build this bridge again. Then trust God, preach through your Christlike disposition and actions. Through holiness that you try to live out, maybe he’ll see it…this is not a one day affair…it will be an epic that you will live out and hopefully one day allow him to see what you see.

God bless.

in XT.


#12

Just love him and stop having these dicusions with him, don’t respond to his attack emails pretend you never read them. All you can do is pray that the Holy Spirit gives you strength, and the Holy Spirit opens his eyes to the truth because that’s the only way your dad will know the truth!

savedbygrace


#13

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