I am posting this here because it is of a personal nature and I need some feedback. I really don’t have anyone else I can turn to for advice because I don’t want to disclose this to friends and family…CAF is my kind-of “anonymous” friends and family…
But anyway, my DH got a job transfer out of the Bay Area which allows us to move closer to family, a true blessing, we are so grateful.
We are moving where housing is more affordable and are hoping to buy a home! Though we’ve been homeowners in the past, we’ve been on the move a lot for DH’s work and have little to put down plus no equity since we’ve been renting here in SF. On the plus side, we do have some for a down payment and closing, plus DH’s salary will support a mortgage and we should get good financing.
The problem is, with a lot of marrieds, we have differing opinions of how to handle money.
DH wants to buy as much home as we can possibly afford, he is tiring of moving, we have a growing family, and the possibility of needing to move MIL in with us sometime in the future. He is looking way ahead into the future, wanting to buy the home we’ll be in “forever”.
I however panic at the sight of the possible monthly mortgage payment he proposes since it is at the ultimate max, and may even be a bit more than what we pay now, waaaay above the nat’l average for mortgages. He thinks that since we can technically afford it, and keeping in mind his potential lifetime earning potential, it will just get easier and easier to afford it, we’ll have all the house we’ll ever need, and never feel the need to “grow”.
I just feel that it is extending ourselves too much and that it is just prudent to live below our means if possible, relying on God to provide a home that would suit our needs, and not spending to the limit that is possible knowing the future holds all sorts of unexpected surprises.
I just want to do what’s right, wise and prudent. He does too. We have differing opinions and it is causing us a lot of grief. I don’t want to be unreasonable, and am wondering if maybe I’m being too cautious? Because of the tension and fighting over this, I’m beginning to second-guess myself but he’s open to my POV and willing to rein in his expectations. What do you guys think is prudent??? Am I being too unreasonable to insist on buying less house even though we will be having more kids and possibly my mother??? Help…I really need some perspective.