My mother has had her second divorce in her lifetime. Her first divorce was with my dh’s dad and it was after a 25 year marriage. She did not mind that divorce for she hated that man and there was physical and verbal abuse involved in that marriage. She left the Catholic Church after that marriage. She never got an annulment and married again a man who was 20 years younger than her. She was skeptical at first to do this, but he assured her that age didn’t matter to him and he would always love her. She fell in love and married him by a judge. The were married for 15 years and adopted her granddaughter. Now, he fell in love with his neighbor who got a divorce and left my mother in law. My MIL got a divorce in August of 2009. She is still dwelling on the marriage and how wonderful her husband was and that his mistress is at fault for changing him. Well, her ex is getting married on March 13th. My MIL is very depressed. She doesn’t handle stress well and she is not handling this well. She has a little girl that is mentally challenge and has to think of her, but yells at her all day long when she has her or just crys a lot. She is a mess.
I wanted to write a letter of encouragement to her. I have done this before in the past to her and she told me it helps her and she saves my letters and re-reads them. *What I would like is advice from women out there who have been betrayed in their marriage by their husband with another woman and have had to divorce. What advice would you give to this woman to move on? Please no bashing of men./I] My MIL is not moving on in her life and if it is anything like her first divorce, in which she is still talkis about her first husband with hatred. She use to mention him to me every time we saw each other. Now she mentions to me her second husband about ten times when we talk and how she dreams about him every night. Let me put in there too, that he does not talk to her on the phone or take any of her calls. He doesn’t respond to her emails unless he thinks it is very important and about his daughter. He won’t answer her text messages either. He has not been taking his every other weekend visitations with his daughter either. So all this is upseting my MIL. I do know that before her ex stop talking to us all, he did say that he knew she was still in love with him and he felt it would be best that she did not talk to him on the phone. As far as his daughter goes, he does email her when he wants visitations. My MIL just wants him to call her and hear his voice. That won’t happen for he knows she is still in love with him. She still thinks that he is having some sort of nervous breakdown and when it is over, he will return to her. She is in denial.
I await your advice, but I do want to write this letter before the 13th. We will be spending most of the day with her on that day so that she won’t be thinking of him getting married.*