I am writing to ask for your advice on how I should progress in my friendship with a seminarian. I have discerned my vocation for a few years, and just so recently reached a point where I am at peace and joy with God’s calling for me to become a devoted wife and mother.
Now, there is this friend whom I’ve known for a long time. I’ve had feelings for him years before, but had put aside this friendship to clear off any potential distractions to my religious vocation discernment. Several years later, now that I am certain of my vocation to marriage (unless the mysterious God has other plans for me!), I have re-encountered this old friend and our friendship has become quite deep and intimate over the past few months. The problem is, he just entered the seminary last fall to further discern the priesthood. I try my best to be conscious of his sensitive discernment state, and so refrain from contacting him often and unnecessarily. Our main way of communication is through letter correspondence, which occurs once or twice a month, each time being quite a deep exchange of our hearts regarding our spiritual life.
At first, I thought this to be no problem as long as we maintain our distance and space. However, my friendship love for him has given way to romantic love. And, as I pray more about this friendship, I do not see it prudent to continue a friendship at this depth for the sake of our current respective vocations. I truly esteem and love him as my friend, and have no intention of being a possible distraction to him and his discernment. Since I now have developed a romantic love for him, I am afraid of the possibility that he might, too, and lose his interior freedom to discern God’s will. Perhaps I am simply projecting and being too cautious, but I know that the evil spirit will use any occasion he gets to preclude God’s will.
At the same time, our friendship is not a typical friendship; it is deeper and much more intimate than even ones I share with my closest female companions. Because we are both so mutual in our giving and receiving in this friendship, I do question his intention for this friendship. Yes, I am a little confused, you can say.
So, how should I proceed in this friendship? How should I approach him about our friendship, if I should at all? Thank you so much for your time. God bless you.