Advice Needed about Vocations


#1

Hi all I’m new to the forums and seeking some advice to a matter that has been bothering me for a while now. I’m 31 and take my relationship with our Lord very seriously. I recently joined the Catholic church last year. I go to confession twice a month and attend mass on Sundays and during the week when I can.

I have had a desire for the vocation of marriage since I was small, and for the last five or six years I’ve also been experiencing a strong desire for children.

As many of you have who are male and love the Lord and remain as of yet unmarried have probably experienced the first thing out of many peoples mouths that I hear is, “Why don’t you become a priest.” I have one brother and I am the oldest male in my family. Today while having breakfast with the Priest of our parish my dad, not for the first time, has told everyone that I’m going to be a priest. Needless to say I find this extremely distressing.

I know that often God tells us his will through those around us. I want to find a wonderful women who loves God and I can build a family with, but all this talk from others especially my father, suggesting, or telling me to go into the priesthood is not only grating but making me question whether my desire for marriage is even correct. The priesthood is a noble calling and I greatly respect it but I can’t seem to find a desire as deep in me as that for marriage.

What advice do you all have for someone of my age who can’t seem to find the right mate, and has family and friends constantly bringing up the priesthood all the time? I worry that maybe I’m missing the boat with God and maybe my desire for marriage is just selfish and worldly.

Anybody else who is where I’m at? Anybody else who was and can offer some sound advice?

Thanks


#2

Have you spoken with the diocesan vocations director? Have you spoken with seminarians or visited seminaries?

The desire for marriage is in our bones. It takes an extraordinary grace to enter the priesthood and persevere in it. Pray the rosary and make hours of adoration. Pray the Liturgy of the Hours and see how it feels. Do so on a regular basis, and live like a priest if you can. Marriage has no novitiate, but when you meet the right girl, nothing except God will be able to part you.

Blessings,
Cloisters


#3

[quote="palomnik82, post:1, topic:312922"]
Hi all I'm new to the forums and seeking some advice to a matter that has been bothering me for a while now. I'm 31 and take my relationship with our Lord very seriously. I recently joined the Catholic church last year. I go to confession twice a month and attend mass on Sundays and during the week when I can.

I have had a desire for the vocation of marriage since I was small, and for the last five or six years I've also been experiencing a strong desire for children.

As many of you have who are male and love the Lord and remain as of yet unmarried have probably experienced the first thing out of many peoples mouths that I hear is, "Why don't you become a priest." I have one brother and I am the oldest male in my family. Today while having breakfast with the Priest of our parish my dad, not for the first time, has told everyone that I'm going to be a priest. Needless to say I find this extremely distressing.

I know that often God tells us his will through those around us. I want to find a wonderful women who loves God and I can build a family with, but all this talk from others especially my father, suggesting, or telling me to go into the priesthood is not only grating but making me question whether my desire for marriage is even correct. The priesthood is a noble calling and I greatly respect it but I can't seem to find a desire as deep in me as that for marriage.

What advice do you all have for someone of my age who can't seem to find the right mate, and has family and friends constantly bringing up the priesthood all the time? I worry that maybe I'm missing the boat with God and maybe my desire for marriage is just selfish and worldly.

Anybody else who is where I'm at? Anybody else who was and can offer some sound advice?

Thanks

[/quote]

I understand your pain very well. I'm in a similar situation where I am single, and people ask me "Why not become a priest?". It gets worse for me, because the majority of people who asks me that, are mostly priests themselves. My only difference from you, is that I do not feel called to marriage.

It would be useful to sit down with all those people, and have a few stern words with them. Explain that your vocation is yours, and that you do not want people saying such things. Simple as that. Know one here can really give you the advise you need. You have to know it yourself, examine yourself and see if you are really being selfish, or if you're just an ordinary guy who hasnt found the right "one" yet.


#4

Hi Cloisters,

Just curious about why if you don't feel a call to marriage you are not considering the priesthood. Are you more interested in a different time of vocation such as brother in a monastery somewhere?


#5

[quote="palomnik82, post:1, topic:312922"]
Hi all I'm new to the forums and seeking some advice to a matter that has been bothering me for a while now. I'm 31 and take my relationship with our Lord very seriously. I recently joined the Catholic church last year. I go to confession twice a month and attend mass on Sundays and during the week when I can.

Today while having breakfast with the Priest of our parish my dad, not for the first time, has told everyone that I'm going to be a priest.

[/quote]

I'm a little confused by the juxtaposition of these two statements, that is, that you're newly Catholic and your dad's statement. Is your dad Catholic? If so, is he well-catechized? Does he attend Mass weekly?

What I'm getting at, I guess, is that to the view of an 'outsider' to the Church (and even to the view of a Catholic who isn't strong in their practice of the faith), the only person who would have such a devoted practice of the faith is a priest or nun. (Nothing against male religious; it's just that they typically don't hit these folks' radar.) So, my gut feel is that what your dad might be giving voice to is his perception that your religious fervor has kicked up a notch or two, and this is the only way he can express that notion.

for the last five or six years I've also been experiencing a strong desire for children.

31, eh? That's not uncommon, then. ;)

As many of you have who are male and love the Lord and remain as of yet unmarried have probably experienced the first thing out of many peoples mouths that I hear is, "Why don't you become a priest."

Sometimes it's said out of ignorance, sometimes out of a charitable hopefulness. We need good priests! What they're saying to you, oftentimes, is that you display characteristics that are often found in priests. If you were a single woman, they might be saying, "you'd make a wonderful mother"... :shrug:

all this talk from others especially my father, suggesting, or telling me to go into the priesthood is not only grating but making me question whether my desire for marriage is even correct. The priesthood is a noble calling and I greatly respect it but I can't seem to find a desire as deep in me as that for marriage.

If you're called to the priesthood, God will call you -- not your friends and family -- to that vocation. Take it as a sign that they might see something in you that resonates with their notion of the priesthood. Knowing that you show signs of virtue is a good thing!

What advice do you all have for someone of my age who can't seem to find the right mate, and has family and friends constantly bringing up the priesthood all the time? I worry that maybe I'm missing the boat with God and maybe my desire for marriage is just selfish and worldly.

You could try and find a spiritual director...

You've been Catholic for a year. Most vocation directors wouldn't (or, as it were, perhaps shouldn't take a look at you for a vocation just yet (cf The Program for Priestly Formation, which states at paragraph 67, "It is advisable that at least two years pass between their entry into the Church and their acceptance into
a seminary program.")) However, if you call your vocations department, tell them a little about yourself (31, single, newly-baptized into the Church, people telling you you'd make a good priest), mention that you're interested in vocational direction, and ask whether they might direct you to some appropriate resources, perhaps they might be able to help.


#6

Wise Advice Thanks!

I guess I should clarify that although I’ve been a Catholic for only a year I’ve been a Christian all my life and went almost entirely through the Orthodox catechesis in preparation for joining the Russian Orthodox Church before God pulled me out and sent me into Catholicism. So I have a strong grasp of the faith. But thanks for the advice. A little spiritual direction may be in order here. Good Advice.


#7

I feel like there are A LOT of single avaliable Catholic women. Are you approaching them?


#8

LOL Not where I'm at. But I'm hoping to get into a masters program at a fine Catholic university soon that has a great faith life. So I'm really hoping to meet a few there. Fingers crossed.


#9

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