I am hoping that I can get some advice on a difficult situation that is burdening me. I hope that someone may have experienced something similar or have views that will ensure I make the right decision.
I am a 30 year old practicing catholic (albeit not perfect). I have been in a relationship with a girl called S for one and a half years. During this relationship I have asked myself every day whether I wanted to marry S. After a year and a half I still do not have an answer.
I find her bright, intelligent, attractive and lively. We are very similar in personality. However, she is not a Catholic. Worse, she was brought up with the belief that organised religion is a negative thing. This was instilled in her by her father, who was brought up in Northern Ireland and suffered much abuse there. S’s grandmother was Catholic however. When we started dating I was very honest about my views, and S seemed open to them (in fact she was surprised that she would get on so well with a Catholic) so we agreed to give it a go. We did share quite a few moral views (abortion, etc.).
As our relationship continued I hoped that S would take a more active interest in Catholicism (I tried to gently introduce her to the church), but she did not. As a result a little part of me was always disappointed. My own spiritual needs were not being met. However, I do love her.
Now I have reached a crossroads over whether we should continue. I do not want to pursue the relationship if I cannot envisage us getting married soon. I have asked her for assurances about our marriage - including my need to raise the children as Catholics. S replied that our home cannot be a Catholic home because she isn’t a Catholic and doesn’t support the teachings of the Church. Her argument is that I am being uncompromising and absolute. It is my way or no way. She is merely supposed to accept my views on how to bring up our children. She accepts that I will take them to church but she will not support me in any way, and feels they should also learn about other spirtual theories.
In summary I need to make a decision - either to finish the relationship or continue. If I continue I will marry a girl I love but compromise the upbringing of my children.
I want my wife to be my spiritual companion and to raise children with God’s teachings, but I love this girl (and she loves me) and it will break my heart to never see her again.
Thank you for your help.