Any thoughts on how I should handle the below problem would be much appreciated.
My daughter is 4 yo and not yet Baptised. Her father and I seperated when she was one. I want to get her Baptised, and not sure the best way to go about it, in relation to whether I should let her father go or not.
I am not on friendly terms with my ex at all, and he is with someone else from day one. I am worried if he comes he may bring her and I don’t feel up to dealing with that. I don’t feel up to dealing with him full stop as he continues to be verbally abusive to me whenever he feels like it when he picks my girls up. If there were others around he won’t say anything though. Also if I ask him to just come on his own, he will most likely become verbally abusive and could just deliberately bring her to upset me.
Her Dad is anti God full stop and is part of the reason we seperated. I feel very wrong about him being there next to me and lying to God and the priest that he will ensure our daughter is raised in the Catholic faith. God knows this will be the case but the priest will take his word for it.
I mentioned one day to my teenage daughters that we might just have her Baptised and not invite anyone including her Dad and it just be us. They were not happy about this and said he had a right to be there. I tried to explain that their Dad does not go to church or even like God and that perhaps it wouldn’t even worry him, but they didn’t accept this.
If I don’t invite him, I cannot invite any of his family, as they would resent me doing not inviting him, and I do not want to damage what I have with his family. If I don’t invite any of his family then they will be hurt. I thought perhaps if i don’t invite any of my family, then his family may be more understanding. But then my family may get a little hurt too.
Also if I do try to do this on my own, I’m sure my older girls will tell their Dad before hand and then I can expect him on my door step abusing me. When he finds out after the effect then I an expect him on my door step abusing me, not because Baptism is important to him, but because it is socially important event involving his daughter, and more to the point it gives him something to yell and scream at me about.
Oh…what to do??