Advice NEEDED.


#1

I need advice on what to tell my son about a kid at school who has a bad attitude. A week ago, the kid asked my son if he liked black people. My son said, “yes”. Well this kid said he hates them.
Today, this same kid told my son something rude again. What do I tell my son to do?
I really want to tell my son to flush the kids head in the toilet but I know that’s not appropriate. ADVICE on how to deal with bullies.


#2

Here are my rules with my children:

  1. Tell the offensive child to leave you alone.

  2. If this doesn’t work, tell a teacher or other authority figure that you want the offensive child to leave you alone. Be specific about what the offensive child has done or said.

  3. If this still doesn’t work, tell me. I’ll go to your class and tell both the offensive child and the teacher that I want the offensive child to leave you alone.

  4. If this still fails, go back to rule 3, but escalate by involving the principal.

  5. If all else fails, knock the offensive child on his butt. Omit rule 5 if you’re just absolutely opposed to violence or don’t know anyone who can teach your child how to knock someone on their butt.

So far, only one of my children has ever gotten to rule 5. It worked like a charm. That particular offensive child hasn’t said boo to my son in the past two years.

– Mark L. Chance.


#3

mlchance, thank-you!!! :thumbsup:


#4

I’d suggest adding this child to your family prayers each evening. The child spouting hate is looking for something, and is missing something - he needs prayer.

Your son should answer each rude statement with “I’ll pray for you”.

Then, you should talk to the teacher. Most schools have rules and regulations against hate speech, and the school authorities need to intervene with this child.


#5

[quote=Lilyofthevalley]I need advice on what to tell my son about a kid at school who has a bad attitude. A week ago, the kid asked my son if he liked black people. My son said, “yes”. Well this kid said he hates them.
Today, this same kid told my son something rude again. What do I tell my son to do?
I really want to tell my son to flush the kids head in the toilet but I know that’s not appropriate. ADVICE on how to deal with bullies.
[/quote]

How old?

This sounds like a bid for attention. Best thing to do: IGNORE.


#6

kage Ar, yes, we said a prayer for him today.

Penny, the kid is 9 years old. In a nutshell, I told my son to hang out with the other kids who are agreeable.


#7

I was bullied throughout most of grade school and junior high, and I have a long history of depression so please take action very soon for your dear children.


#8

Cora, I can relate. I just never involved my parents with what was going on at school.
I am the complete opposite, VERY involved, probably OVER involved, but I did some role playing with my son last night, thanks ML’s suggestions.
This little pip squeak said something to my son, which embarassed him, and I had him tell his father about it. It’s easier to tell dad some things than mom. Dad told me and we talked about it.


#9

Dearest Lily

Firstly this must be hard thing for your son to hear, difficult for your son to even think about. Like you have said flushing the child’s head down the loo is not the answer, this child is simply repeating what he has heard in his home and by those who most influence him. Your son might like to say something like regarding that and say because we are all equal as humans , God’s children, we are all loved equally and therefore we love each other equally with no favourites.

Child bullies are usually bullies because there is something deficient regarding their families and adults around them and those around them who shaped them. A child after all is a child and therefore more a product of circumstance than of themsleves. Tell your son to be very nice to this boy and show this boy the love and kindness of Christ, to love him as he loves Jesus, but to be firm in what you tell him is right and to tell this boy what is right.

As long as there is no violence involved towards your son then this should suffice, children listen to people who talk sense and truth, it is only adults who have more pride than they know what to do with and ignore sense.

God Bless you and much love and peace to you and your family

Teresa


#10

At the school where I work, we had an all school assembly regarding bullying. A speaker came in and gave excellent advice on how to deal with those situations.

When spoken to by a bully, just walk by…head up, eyes straight ahead…bullies like emotion, and to get a reaction. If you don’t give them one, they tend to go pick on someone who will.

The child who doesn’t like black people probably comes from a family where one or more people are racists…I guess just pray for the child, knowing that he has someone very negative in his life who is feeding him this garbage.

Take Care :slight_smile:

MommyLeah


#11

#12

When spoken to by a bully, just walk by…head up, eyes straight ahead…bullies like emotion, and to get a reaction. If you don’t give them one, they tend to go pick on someone who will.

Exactly! That is another one, unfortunately, my son cares too much about wht people think. Maybe it’s not that either, he’s been homeschooled so he’s not used to dealing with this. I told him there will be people saying a LOT of things as you go through life, and you need to consider the source. For instace, I mentioned the little boy hates people he does not even know, so if he has something negative to say to you, don’t really fret.


Child bullies are usually bullies because there is something deficient regarding their families and adults around them and those around them who shaped them

I don’t doubt something odd is going on in that house hold. :frowning:

Jkirk fortunately, I believe if it got to the point of teacher involvement it would more than likely stop there. My son’s teacher has been teaching 30 + years~and she is not tolerant of much. This kid says these things as they are leaving school or in line for the lunch room… He wouldn’t dare in front of the principal or teacher.

:mad:


#13

I have taken such cases to the principal and let the school deal with the boy. Most schools have a 0% tolerance on racial hatred. Pray for your son too.


#14

Thank-you Dhgray. Yes, prayer is powerful.


#15

Dearest Lily

You sound so in accord that all bear the face of Christ that you will also see that the child you are speaking of also has the face of Christ and will handle this as such, sometimes the least said, but an accurate comment on a situation like this can turn opinions around. This little boy is just a child, a little person who doesn’t know for themselves anything but what they are taught, so you and your son are in a good position to tell this child different to what he has been otherwise exposed to, God moves in unknown ways, but we all work to the salvation of each other

God Bless you and much love and peace to you

Teresa


#16

[quote=Lilyofthevalley]I need advice on what to tell my son about a kid at school who has a bad attitude. A week ago, the kid asked my son if he liked black people. My son said, “yes”. Well this kid said he hates them.
Today, this same kid told my son something rude again. What do I tell my son to do?
I really want to tell my son to flush the kids head in the toilet but I know that’s not appropriate. ADVICE on how to deal with bullies.
[/quote]

Hi Lily: (Friend --wherever you are—)

TEACH your son Lily, to take a stand for what is right, and to speak up for truth, and NOT be intimidated by anyone for his beliefs. SO WHAT? this guy talks negative about blacks.! Tell your son to speak up and defend all peoples regardless of color, race, religion. Plain and simple. Tell your son that GOD LOVES ALL PEOPLES. the same regardless of color, and to “tell his friend this.” I have sons too who come home with various stories about “this retard” …“this nerd”…and what a challenge as a parent it is to hope and try to instill in them that “God Loves them as much as he Loves us”…

God Bless Lily~~


#17

doesn’t the school have any kind of policy about bullying? If not get them to have one. Bullies are the minority, yet most people won’t stand up to them because they don’t want to be the victim. If there is anti-buliying policy, then 99% of the kids are banded to together and the bully is in the minority. The bully will be less successfull at having everyone intimidated since it just won’t work.

Or you can teach your child to risk abuse but to stand up for what is right-- in a charitable manner of course.


#18

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