Advice on judgemental brother


#1

My youngest brother has disagreed on my relationship with my fiance since after i left my exhusband...He was not happy with me leaving my exhusband wanted me to not give up...to just give him another try he was such a good man, once I started leaving him...

We are four in our family...I am the eldest and yes most of my decisions of life have caused my family grief, and even though the way I was raised, as most of you know, led me to make those irrational decisions as a way to escape and to find some kind of comfort and even find myself in a most confusing way, I have never stopped loving my family and being there for them...My sister and I were best friends growing up till I met exhusband things changed..then she and I didn't like each other...there is still some resentment on her part towards me etc and I take it out on her on my worst moments as well...she is mother's favorite doesn't help with her attitude towards me on occassions... Now as grownups we have worked out through most of our problems, and you know what, things have been a little smoother between us we can certainly talk to each other and have a decent relationship now... thank GOD!

Well the third born in our family, a brother, started being a bit distant when he found out my fiance helped buy me a house and got me an engagement ring instead of me taking that money and paying my parents off for the debt I owe them, he felt resentful and very angry with me and has shown this by not talking to me at all... My parents told me I didn't have to pay back anything that was for my children and myself I don't care i will pay them back GOD willing soon!

The youngest is the brother with a problem...Has stepped away from church because his new wife barely believes in GOD...And hates my fiance...Doesn't talk to me nor has even said anything to me since my divorce, this is the one with the major problem...

Third born called our youngest today after returning from his honey moon, and tells him your sister is pregnant! So he after so many years texts me saying "this is it!"

What does that mean?

Please pray for this sheep whom has lost his way and may GOD bless him and his new wife....I appreciate it...


#2

It is not wrong for someone to make judgements on our actions, in fact, that is what God has told us to do.

If your brother attempts to judge your soul, then he is wrong and should be corrected.

He does not agree with your lifestyle, nothing says we have to agree with all that our siblings do. Be kind and loving to him, read 1 Cor chapter 13 and inderstand how Christian love reacts. Don't play into the drama.


#3

Judging actions is fine but Judging the Soul is for God and God only.

With that said I do have a few questions.

You have an ex-husband that seems to be causing scandal with your youngest brother. Was your marriage annulled by the Catholic Church?
If not then your youngest brother has some right to be concerned for you. You would still be married to your husband and therefore unable to be engaged to someone else.

I am also confused on who is in your family :)

From what I read, your family is 2 brothers and 2 sisters. You are the oldest, then your sister, then a brother, and finally the youngest brother. Is that right?


#4

To add to the above, it would seem from what you have said that (even more importantly) your present pregnancy is as a result of fornication.

Of course, I could be just missing a trick, but it comes across that way.


#5

Thanks I will look into that…sorry but my lack of hormonal control led me to seriously not take what my brother after several years of not talking to me wrote to me…Father let me know yesterday that my brother got brainwashed by exhusband after our divorce, when exhusband befriended my brother after almost a decade of mistreating him and always bullying him…It’s kind of interesting how my brother in a few months changed his mind towards exhusband telling me to give it one more try because he wasnt such a bad guy after all!

Ever since then brother has not been happy with me trying to restart my life over… And because my other brother is a bit upset that I haven’t been able to pay back parents for a debt I owe them, has grown resentment because parents don’t “make me” pay back debt where as for him they “make him” pay back some of the debt they owe parents… Father let me know yesterday that my brother doesn’t want to pay back debt and has been trying for the past 2 years to avoid them at all costs even when he was making 7 grand a year to not even pay back money owed for a car father bought him and his wife to help them after they decided to get into 50 grand debt for a brand new vehicle and let it get repoed, 4 grand of money lent to them for baby stuff, help with school, etc and then when they got kicked out of the apt they were in because he didn’t want to pay 900 dollars for apt any more…moved into parents house wanted to live for free and spend all their money on them…father told me he was trying to help brother mature…but was failing miserably so of course immature brother calls the other immature brother (and these are almost 30 year old men) and instigates against me…I did not react positively I assure you on that one…

Wrong but unfortunately it was the reaction I took…


#6

Never married by the church marriage annulled by the church…

Please read the other post where it explains a little more about my youngest brother and exhusband… thank you!


#7

Yes, she and her fiance had a night of misjudgement that resulted in a gift from God. She already came on her and fessed up and told us all and they are abstaining as far as we know and went to confession, etc. Just clarifying not judging. We all make mistakes in our life but obviously for whatever reason God chose to bless her for this one as she was supposed to be nfertile.

Iluv- I still love you. Merry Christmas. I am a tarnished pewter myself. :o :stuck_out_tongue:

Now, I can say that I am going to have Christmas with my in-laws including SIL and BIL. SIL as still been pretty vocal and agaist th efamilies reconciling. She makes me more nervous than my MIL. But I know with God’s Grace her heart will be changed when He wills it not when I do or when my dh does. I hope that makes some sense - just my two cents.


#8

[quote="joandarc2008, post:7, topic:180488"]
Yes, she and her fiance had a night of misjudgement that resulted in a gift from God. She already came on her and fessed up and told us all and they are abstaining as far as we know and went to confession, etc. Just clarifying not judging. We all make mistakes in our life but obviously for whatever reason God chose to bless her for this one as she was supposed to be nfertile.

Iluv- I still love you. Merry Christmas. I am a tarnished pewter myself. :o :p

Now, I can say that I am going to have Christmas with my in-laws including SIL and BIL. SIL as still been pretty vocal and agaist th efamilies reconciling. She makes me more nervous than my MIL. But I know with God's Grace her heart will be changed when He wills it not when I do or when my dh does. I hope that makes some sense - just my two cents.

[/quote]

Thanks Joan, love you very much as well! :D :hug3::grouphug:

Since future inlaws found out about baby they have reconciled with fiance, and are willing to "put up with me and my kids!" lol :shrug: for the baby's sake of course... Invited us for Xmas really don't want to go but will go..put on the best face possible and treat them as kindly as ever...

My brothers are not in good terms for whatever reasons with me...father says they have regressed to pure immaturity even worst than they were when they were teens...Pretty sad but what can you do...I shouldn't have taken it the way I did and shouldn't have reacted the way I did I know that now but let me tell you that I could have reacted a lot worst than the way I did and I don't think I did that bad... :blush:

Anyhow yes I have repented apologized and all mother won't speak with me father upset and disappointed, brother's well, they're even more pissed off now than before, but that's how things are...gotta move on..continue praying and of course asking GOD for forgiveness! And help with my hormonal **** that I am going through at the moment...

So anyhow, hopefully all will work out for the best, I have faith in GOD so I gotta just move on...

thanks again for advise and help and support!


#9

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