Advice on not being judgemental


#1

Hello, I would like some advice on how to stop one of my biggest faults…being judgemental…I find myself judging people when I know only God can judge…Anyone else have trouble with this? :frowning:


#2

Yes, I have this problem too. It stems from pride, self-love. Pray this litany for humility: ewtn.com/Devotionals/Litanies/humility.htm


#3

That’s a great prayer, brother. Thanks. And here’s something that helps me:

“For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (1 Corinthians 4:7)


#4

It would help to know what you mean by “judgmental.” Our society has fallen prey to moral relativity and any condemnation of an evil action is considered “judging.” Indeed, “judge lest ye be judged” is perhaps the most incorrectly quoted phrase.

We are free to judge the morality of an action. For example, abortion is an intrinsic evil and we are obligated to condemn it. Admonishing the sinner is a Spiritual Work of Mercy. By “judging,” we can actually have an impact on the salvation of other’s souls.

The problem of “judging” is when we judge the state of one’s soul. Saying that someone is going to hell, or that a recently deceased person is in heaven fit under this. If the culpability of a person is at question, we may be certain that sinful actions have been committed, but we may not be sure that they have committed mortal sin. Basically, we should not make judgments on something that only God knows.

For our society’s definition of “judgment” it is not necessary to correct our “judgmental attitudes.” However, in many cases I have found it prudent to tone down much of my “judging.” If we have no friends, then we are going to have a hard time saving their souls!

I would recommend trying to be open to talk to and don’t jump to conclusions. For me, I have found that my interrupting habits tend to correlate with my “judging.” By correcting my interrupting problem, I have become less “condemning.” If interrupting people is a problem you suffer from, I would recommending trying to control that.

The root of “judging others” is the sin of pride. Humility, the virtue that goes with pride, is perhaps the most difficult virtue to attain. If you catch yourself in a situation where you feel pride may get the best of you, perhaps you can lightly strike your chest and pray “Lord, grant me humility” or something like that. Perhaps say a prayer to your guardian angel or the Prayer to Saint Michael when you find yourself in a tough situation.

Good luck. You are in my prayers.


#5

I find the best remedy for being judgmental is to know myself. When God’s light shines on my soul and I begin to know myself better I see all the filth in my own soul, so then I stop looking at others but ask God for mercy for both myself and others.


#6

dashso40 - are you familiar with the Divine Mercy devotion? I suggest reading the diary of Faustina and realizing how much mercy God wishes to pour on all of us. When we realize how much we ALL our in need of his mercy - it becomes harder to judge others, in my opinion.
Judgement is a trap I fall into often myself, I think all of us can relate. It is important to remember that if we all had the ability to judge, why would we need God at all?


#7

I used to have a TON of trouble with this one…
After a retreat my senior year of high school, I came to the realization that we NEVER know all the circumstances that lead people to act/be the way they are.
I know that there have been numerous times when I have misjudged someone because I thought I knew what was going on.

It also helps to remember the example Jesus gave use when he dined with prostitutes, tax collectors, etc.


#9

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